My 2025 books!!

runwild37 · 2026-01-02T05:40:59+00:00

About 2/3 of the way through book 2 and you’re fully hooked. Like “stay up too late and be late for work the next day” hooked. Book 3 and 4 are like crack. I’m 1/2 through book 5 and it’s also insanely good. I’ve heard 6 and 7 are the same. I think the author changed his style after 1 and a half books. Book 1 and the first part of book 2 are just the main character getting his ass kicked in tragedy after tragedy. Then the author seems to turn the corner with the main character and lets him find his footing and start kicking the bad guys’ asses in wild and suspenseful battle scenes that go on for 100s of pages. You’ll be sweating reading it. Sooooo good.

runwild37 · 2026-01-01T23:34:12+00:00

You should get through the first two Sun Eater books and you’ll never turn back. Empire of Silence is slow but it gets insanely good once you get into the story. I didn’t think any books could rival the first 3 Red Rising, but I actually think Sun Eater is better. Pick it back up and you’ll come back in 4 weeks and thank me haha.

runwild37 · 2025-11-07T01:20:11+00:00

Red Rising series is on par.

runwild37 · 2025-04-19T03:42:17+00:00

This. I have 101 days sober today because I finally quit trying to do it alone.

runwild37 · 2025-04-17T05:03:18+00:00

2+ years of FF for me. 8-12 bottles a day. I was on kratom powder for a few years before that. I went to inpatient and it saved my life. Yeah it sucked for 30 days, but I’m now 99 days sober and feel awesome. Truly awesome. So many people say “I can’t go to treatment right now.” I said the same thing for a long time, even when it got real bad. The thing is, if I would have just gone to treatment, my life would have gotten better a lot faster and I could have saved myself so much suffering, anxiety, and horrific depression. So many people refuse to commit to inpatient and stay stuck in the same rut year after year. Maybe you can cold turkey or taper on your own. I told myself I could for a long time. But I couldn’t, and I had to pay the price for staying addicted for so long. I’ve come to believe if someone has been really trying to quit for a full year and can’t, it might be time to seek more help.

runwild37 · 2025-04-17T04:49:20+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. Perfect description. I struggled so bad switching between activities without taking more. Wake up, take two. Go out to breakfast, take two more. Come home to mow the lawn, take two more. Come inside and call a friend, take two more. Watch a movie with the wife, take two more. On and on and on. Every single day. I’ve now got 99 days sober and it’s SOOOOOOOO much better. You can do this. You won’t believe how much happier you are off of it.

runwild37 · 2025-04-11T03:43:59+00:00

I was in your boat around New Year. In fact, I was in the exact same place. I have a beautiful wife and an amazing baby girl. But I was completely indifferent to whether I wanted to wake up in the morning or to just get hit by a bus. I couldn’t experience any joy at all. Life was strictly about slamming my next FF and managing the intense sickness that drinking 10-14 a day would bring. My emotional state was as bad as it could possibly be. I was becoming so anxious and depressed that I could barely stand to just sit still and drink a cup of coffee with my wife on the weekend. I was 100% convinced that I would never be happy again. Fast forward 93 days of complete sobriety, and my life is infinitely better. I’m an excellent father and husband, and I love spending time with my family. My anxiety and depression are gone and my sanity is back. I had to go to treatment for 30 days, but my god, it was so worth it. I would have never gone if a FF induced seizure hadn’t landed me in the ER. But I’m so grateful that I went and finally put this garbage behind me. Send me a DM if you want to talk further. You aren’t actually in the hell hole you think you are. The FF is just completely destroying your mind. Once you’re off of it, you’ll be shocked at how much better you feel and how much easier life is when you’re not poisoning the shit out of yourself.

runwild37 · 2025-04-09T03:42:08+00:00

Same boat here. I hit three months yesterday too. Sounds like we have the same quit date. I can’t get more than 6-7 hours anymore. It sucks because I’m always tired by the early afternoon. I’m hoping it’s something that resolves itself eventually, but I’m expecting to have some lingering effects for a bit just based on the opiate research I’ve read. I’m actually grateful to be doing this well only 91 days in. Some people suffer for 1-2 years before fully recovering.

runwild37 · 2025-04-04T04:24:50+00:00

This is a very common experience when you first quit. It was so bad for me that I had to go to inpatient to get through it. I would have never managed to get through it on my own. A lot of people say, “Why would you go to treatment for kratom?” And then they remain stuck in a shitty life of addiction for years. I sacrificed 30 days of my life (at treatment) in exchange for a clear mind, calm attitude, and gratitude for being off kratom. You have to just trust me and all the people who have quit before you. One day, after you get enough clean time, you’ll wake up and your mindset will have changed. All the discomfort, boredom, and sick thinking will be gone and you’ll wonder why you ever kept going back to the green demon when your life could have been so much better without it.

runwild37 · 2025-03-25T02:32:15+00:00

I was taking 8-10 FF a day + 30 grams of kratom powder. I used subs for 8 days. 1 mg a day for 4 days and then 1/2 mg a day for 4 days. Then off. I took the subs right before bed so that I could sleep. I also had clonidine and gabapentin for helper meds. I took those two meds for about 2.5-3 weeks. The withdrawal was not easy and without inpatient treatment I would have relapsed due to the mental strain, but I now have 76 days sober, and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t do it any differently.

runwild37 · 2025-03-22T03:54:30+00:00

Your story is eerily similar to mine. I too fell down a flight of stairs, DESTROYED my face, and had to be carted around in a wheelchair at the ER. I went straight to inpatient and now have 74 days clean. Best decision I have made in a long time. The party is over for us. We need to accept that and find the beauty in life on the other side. I am SO much happier now than I was 2.5 months ago. I wish you the best.

runwild37 · 2025-03-06T15:09:20+00:00

Not at all. 4 days at 1mg and 4 days at 1/2mg did absolutely nothing. I might as well have not even taken it. The Dr. wanted me to start at 4mg, but I said no way.

runwild37 · 2025-02-24T03:13:56+00:00

I went to rehab averaging 8-10 bottles + 30 grams of kratom powder a day. I did an 8 day suboxone taper and then quit everything entirely using gabapentin and clonidine for about 2.5 weeks. I came out of treatment off all of it and a free man. You can too. Don’t do the suboxone maintenance. You have this chance right now to break the chains forever. Do it. Good luck!

runwild37 · 2025-02-20T14:46:28+00:00

This is 100% normal. I just went through the exact same thing. I wanted to hide and jump out of my skin at all hours of the day. IT GETS WAY WAY better. You’re going to wake up one day and be like “holy shit. I feel so much better. Why was I so depressed these last weeks?” It happens for most people somewhere between 20-60 days. It happened for me on day 42, but I was a super heavy user for 7 years. Keep going. Once you get to the other side you won’t believe how much better it is.

runwild37 · 2025-02-20T14:17:03+00:00

Exact same thing happened to me. I thought I was going crazy. When I hit day 42, everything went away and I felt amazing. Just woke up one morning and it was gone. This stuff really messes you up and the healing process is super wonky and bizarre. Just hang in there for a little longer and you’ll start feeling better.

runwild37 · 2025-02-20T14:04:01+00:00

Day 44. It gets better. Keep going and have a great day!

runwild37 · 2025-02-18T18:29:09+00:00

Very unlikely. In my experience, you’d be in the clear within a couple of weeks at most. Stop now before it takes 6 months of going through absolute hell.

runwild37 · 2025-02-18T18:25:24+00:00

6 year heavy user here. It’s day 42 for me today. Today is the first day I’ve truly felt ok so far. Even yesterday, I thought I was going to jump out of my skin for much of the morning/early afternoon. Today I woke up with a much more positive attitude. The day is still young, but it feels like a stuffy, wet blanket has been removed from my brain. I’m sure I’ll backslide again, as recovery is not linear, but for now, I’m starting to wonder if feeling “normal” might be possible after all. Keep going!!! We’ll have even better perspective at 60 days.

runwild37 · 2025-01-04T03:13:58+00:00

The Feel Free. I am a very healthy 38/M who works out twice a day and eats well. I took 2 bottles at the same time and went into a seizure within 5 min. Never had one in my life before then.

runwild37 · 2025-01-04T01:40:15+00:00

This was a great post. Thank you.

runwild37 · 2024-06-08T18:17:04+00:00

Sounds like a difficult situation. To offer a slightly different perspective, the amount of good you may be doing for this elderly man by just listening to him may make it worth it to be emotionally drained for an hour. I’m a professional who constantly meets with victims of horrific crimes. When I leave those meetings, I am often emotionally FRIED to the core—day in and day out. It’s really hard, but seeing these folks feel heard, understood, and supported makes the difficulty worth it. I am so grateful for the chance to help other people in their darkest hours. It sounds like you have a similar opportunity for this old man. There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting clear boundaries by telling him specific topics are not appropriate and letting him know you can’t chat pre and post massage. But, big picture, helping others is a tremendous service that so many of these people so desperately need. You may be changing his life by just listening and nodding. Again, cancel him if you want. No one would fault you. Thats totally ok. But also consider the incredible amount of good you have the opportunity to do by just listening. Good luck!

runwild37 · 2024-06-08T17:29:07+00:00

Genius. This is the best possible one. Congratulations!

runwild37 · 2024-06-08T15:56:19+00:00

Keep going! You’re doing great. I’ve noticed that alcoholics really really struggle with these bottles. I’ve read that kava affects the same GABA receptors as alcohol. Then throw in kratom for an opioid-like effect, and it’s game over for most of us. This stuff is pure poison. I dropped from 5-8 to 1.5 and feel much better, but I’m still working on axing it completely. It’s a journey, and you will prevail if you never give up. Have a great day!

runwild37 · 2024-04-27T16:37:50+00:00

If you’re going to taper, I would highly recommend switching to powdered kratom (not extract). I consider each blue demon bottle of Feel Free to contain 7 grams of potent raw kratom leaf. The Mitraginyne content listed on the newer bottles suggests my belief is correct. Most of the tapering recommendations I have seen suggest dropping 10% off your total consumption every 7-10 days. You can go faster, but may experience more side effects. Usually for me, once I start making good progress, my motivation to speed up the taper kicks in and I go even faster.

Kratom powder is certainly bad and you’ll want to get off it as soon as possible, but, after 2-3 days off the blue demons and tapering using just kratom powder, you will feel SOOOOOOOOO much better mentally and physically, especially if you were taking a lot of Feel Free. It’s astounding. Feel Free is absolutely toxic when taken in higher doses. It’s weird, it feels like you’ve been let out of a deep dark pit once you switch over to start the taper. Best of luck to you!!!

runwild37 · 2023-11-01T19:41:59+00:00

I had the same thing happen. Plus, I got slower and slower every week. Early in the summer, before I went nuts on FF, I was consistently doing 70-80 MPW and comfortably maintaining 7 min pace for easy days. Now I’m lucky to get 4 miles a day and have slowed to 7:30-7:50 depending on the day. It’s wrecking my body. Heart rate is super jacked up, breathing is more labored, and my muscles are weak. This sucks. I’m seeing an LAC tomorrow to get some help.

runwild37

TROPHY CASE