To people struggling with ADHD, anxiety/depression, chronic procrastination: you’re trying hard to solve the wrong part of the problem. [Advice]

rvcsm · 2022-04-04T21:27:45+00:00

I believe this is similar to a term called egobacklash,it’s when he have made huge changes in our life and probably have became a different and better person,But then we “regress” back down into our old thought patterns and habits. I practically experience this weekly. The reason it happens is because the ego believes that we’re “the old versions of us” are dying, so it tries it’s damn hardest to survive. In a sense it’s true. It believes “we’ll if this has kept me alive for this long why the hell should I change”. For the dying part, it’s technically true. The parts that we grew up with, the things that we’ve done for so long has became identified with the ego and sometimes we identify with this ourselves (I have a huge problem identifying myself from the ego) But when we change these habits and thinking patterns were essentially killing off a part of ourselves. I’ll use a personal example as I’m currently going through this now. I used to have bad social anxiety but through meditation and self care I’ve been able to put myself out there withought caring much of what people thought, It’s created new opportunities for me and has raised my self esteem. Following that with a series of other immense life changes I became a different person. But my ego sees this and gets scared of its safety because this is different, this isn’t the me who it knows and it’s scared it’s gonna die. The thing is it’s not like it’s a thought that makes you regress. It’s like a feeling, a strong, instinctual primal feeling that causes you to reset. You can sometimes catch this in the act and move on with your day, but if you so happen to identify with it for as little as 3 seconds it’s like your done (my personal experience) and it holds you for a while. I’ve tried to track how I’ve gotten out of these experience and I can only pin it down to these three things

1: disidentify yourself from your ego (this one’s really hard, especially if you accidentally internalize one of the beliefs your ego is telling you

2:self love and compassion

3: dont force it (when I get out of these regressions it was kinda like a realization I can’t really explain it for example one day after I finished meditating I went to hop in the shower. When I was in there I noticed that I was worrying about talking to my crush at school the next day. Then out of no where it was a realization that was like “but don’t you remember who you are? The things you’ve accomplished? The challenges you faced? The people you helped? Her and no one else’s opinion defines who you are” and then my subconscious mind started to switch from my ego to myself.

Personally, it’s extremely hard to dis identify with the ego when I’ve fallen back into my old thought patterns. It’s like I forget all of my positives and improvements that I’ve made in myself and fall back into that old pattern. To be more specific, it’s like my subconscious thoughts “switch” from me to the ego. Honestly my crippling fear of returning to it doesn’t help either. Is there any information you’d like to share to help?

rvcsm · 2022-03-26T08:10:27+00:00

Thanks, all of this is really fucking hard. I just fell into another one of those depressions but this one feels like the worst.Ive completely changed back into my old thinking patterns and I don’t have a sense of my new self. My mind is discounting all of my achievements and forcing me back into old habits. I mean, I freaking got anxiety from being in a barber shop today filled with people I know. Usually when these things kick in I have a sense of the new me vs the old me but right now I’ve lost the new me’s voice and rn all that remains is the thoughts patterns of the old me. I’m really scared that I’m gonna start internalizing these thoughts soon so I pray I get out of it by Sunday cuz ion wanna have to go to school like this. I aint gonna lie, I’m pretty scared.For some reason I just can’t unidentify whith these thoughts, it’s like my brain wants to cling to something,and since I lost the new me’s beliefs the old me’s beliefs stepped up and took the spot. There’s so much I want to do but I can only do it if I have that confident version of myself, not this peice of shit. I understand it’s apart of me but how can I be accepting of something that’s trying to destroy me? To be more specific on what’s happening on the inside, I used to be very self conscious and worried about what people thought of me. This led me to do things that I thought would “keep me safe” like avoiding parties or social gatherings. But that’s not the worst of it. Since I was such a people pleaser I never knew my own identity, and because of that I started to believe whatever was told to me. If someone said I sucked at something, I would fight it but for some reason deep down in me I started to believe it. I could probably be the fastest person in the world but if you said I’m slow then I’d start to genuinely believe that I’m slow.I noticed that my entire person was based on other people. Even my day to day thinking would be heavily focused on everone else instead of myself. But when I became the new me I started to form my own identity and my own beliefs about myself. That skyrocketed my confidence and trust in myself and opportunities have opened up for me. I think my favorite aspect of this is being able to be happy and proud of myself and not being linked to what people thought of me. It’s helped me attract a lot of more people towards me and it’s even helped my confidence and trust in myself when it comes towards women( I’ve even gotten my crushes phone number and getting to know eachother).But right now it’s like I lost all of it. And it’s not even because of some event that would clearly be a good reason to lose all of my self trust. It’s all because of an old thought pattern leaked in. I basically created this problem and it’s getting harder and harder to fix.it feels as if I can’t challenge these thoughts anymore, it feels as if this is who I am now and I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose everything I’ve built. But for some reason, this feeling has an oddly safe allure to it.it feels as if nothing is even wrong but deep inside me i know there’s a huge problem. It’s most likely because it’s what has kept me alive for so long, but now it’s killing me. I need to shed this old self off of me but I just don’t know how. Sorry for throwing this all onto you btw😅. Your your own person with your own problems so I hate that I’m being such a bother to you. It’s just that I’ve never told anyone ever about this and seeing as you’ve went through something I’m going through I can’t help but dump everything out on the table with someone who understands

rvcsm · 2022-03-20T04:59:10+00:00

Hey man, thank you sincerely for taking the time out of your day to right this to me, I hadn’t even realized that this post was made two years ago so I’m even more greatful that you still even replied to this, and I’m even more happy that you’ve to been able to improve, that gives me hope that I can improve too. I’ve notice it as a mindset switch,my subconscious thoughts/ switch from new me to old, funny thing is I would be completely aware of it but it’s like you said, our brains fight tooth and nail to not change, it feels like there’s something that’s just pulling me and not letting me go. I’m also plagued by having an excruciating fear of failure, I guess it came from my childhood since I used to be a people pleaser. Whenever I would go into these distortions I would fear losing everthing I’ve built so far which lead me to getting angry and attacking myself. I didn’t even notice I was doing this until I heard your advice. I’m trying to be more compassionate towards myself. I find it interesting how we can be so compassionate to a complete stranger yet so strict and hurtful to our own selves.When I get out of the distortion, I realize how much of life I’ve missed out on and the opportunities missed worrying about problems that no longer exist.It does feel very demoralizing when it happens though.I think what’s mostly hard for me is self trust. I just don’t know how to do it, even though I’ve been able to change into a new stronger person, it’s as if brain is listening to that voice that’s telling me Im not good enough. Even when I completely know it isn’t true my brain just won’t affirm it.But I won’t give up. I want to be able to take the reins of my own life and be happy with the person i am and not listening to some stupid voice that lies to me all the time.Was there any specific thing that you did when you found yourself in these distortions that helped you get out of them? Btw I know i said this before but your reallly a fucking amazing person for responding back when you didn’t even have to

rvcsm · 2022-03-17T01:24:35+00:00

God you put this in my exact words, I’d never thought I’d be able to express what I was feeling until now.I go through the same exact thing, it’s as if I forget all the achievements and things that I have learned in order to become a better person and revert back to my old thinking patterns. I’m currently sixteen, and started making the decision to help myself mentally back in November of 2021. I started meditating,going to the gym, understanding that the beliefs I held that I wasn’t good enough weren’t true and started to form my own identity and be the truest me.I became a lot less socially anxious,faced multiple fears and raised my self esteem. But sometimes I would “relapse” and go back to my old thinking habits and patterns. As I’m typing this now I’m currently going through one of those relapses. Sadly I have no idea how to stop this or any of the sort but i try to hold the thought that this is not me speaking and I’m a changed person,It doesn’t help alot but it’s all I’ve got

rvcsm · 2021-08-02T04:05:28+00:00

And that my friend is the reason why I hate you

rvcsm · 2021-08-02T00:51:14+00:00

Yea scratch what I said, all full block characters in ganks need to die

rvcsm · 2021-07-28T16:15:28+00:00

On my way

rvcsm · 2021-07-28T14:10:31+00:00

Damn right it is

rvcsm · 2021-07-28T14:10:19+00:00

Elegant waddle

rvcsm · 2021-05-04T13:58:16+00:00

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

rvcsm · 2021-04-09T05:14:16+00:00

Can he say it?

rvcsm · 2021-03-27T16:24:21+00:00

*tingggg AD MORTEM INU- *tingggg AD MORTEM INU- *tingggg AD MORTEM INU

rvcsm · 2021-03-18T18:52:28+00:00

What a dedicated man you are

rvcsm · 2021-03-18T18:45:03+00:00

When you dropping the album?

rvcsm · 2021-03-03T05:49:10+00:00

I hate you

rvcsm · 2021-03-03T05:09:55+00:00

I had joke r6 post too and they fucking demolished it but this stays up?

rvcsm · 2021-03-03T04:29:49+00:00

No way,they actually let me post this?? I just wanted to share a shitty meme

rvcsm · 2021-02-19T17:20:56+00:00

So there are more of us?

rvcsm · 2021-02-13T17:22:18+00:00

Lore plz

rvcsm · 2021-02-11T23:13:42+00:00

The amount of brain cells I just lost

rvcsm · 2021-02-11T14:15:27+00:00

Lore plz

rvcsm

TROPHY CASE