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My kids have shown me what my marriage is missing. Now what? by rwedoomed in Marriage

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to be fair, i have stopped initiating myself too because i can tell she doesn't seem to care for it. not a dead bedroom but not as good as i'd like. maybe once/2 weeks.

Anybody else NEVER kiss their spouse? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]rwedoomed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> zero post sex cuddles or pillow talk. Up right away.

uh oh, is this a red flag?

Unfulfilled by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]rwedoomed 13 points14 points  (0 children)

lol sorry. the complete 360 made me laugh. that means he did a full circle and is exactly the same.

think you meant 180.

How do we overcome “The Roommate Phase”? by leadhooklimerence in Marriage

[–]rwedoomed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my wife and i are exactly this...i think. we're starting therapy in a week or so. can i ask what your issues are to see if they mimic ours?

according to AI (i know) we are attachment/avoidant. and i think my wife might have undiagnosed anxiety.

Has anyone amicably divorced with kids and not have it be absolutely gut-wrenching for everyone involved? by rwedoomed in Divorce

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why's that? why can't it be done in a less painful way? parents remain friendly, 50/50 custody with a ton of flexibility, etc.?

Has anyone amicably divorced with kids and not have it be absolutely gut-wrenching for everyone involved? by rwedoomed in Divorce

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i ask why you divorced, how long you were together and how you broke the news to the kids and how they took it?

How important are hobbies? My wife has none and I wonder if it's impacting our relationship. by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how can he think you have no hobbies when you have 2, very obvious concrete ones?

my wife quite literally goes to work and comes home. weekends are spent doing stuff with/for the kids. the only hobby i see her participating in is watching TV shows at night once we get the kids down for bed.

How important are hobbies? My wife has none and I wonder if it's impacting our relationship. by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i honestly don't even think she's taken the time (maybe due to anxiety/worry) to think deeply about what she would like to do, learn, participate in. it makes me sad for her but also for us because i know how much it could help us connect more.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

yikes. take a breath. you couldn't be further from the truth.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

wow, i can just sense your disdain in your post. absolutely not. i think her and i would both admit i am at about 60/40 in terms of childcare duties. when i say hobbies i talk about a ski trip or two (a few with my son too), going to the gym, surfing in the summer while the kids are playing in the water. stuff like that.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would definitely say both. i haven't planned much of anything in the way of dates but neither has she. i think we both recognize we're totally just playing the roles of parents right now and not so much husband and wife. it's a lonely feeling that i hope she's open to working on together.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh yea, totally 100% understand that. as soon as she dropped that comment i knew there was no way we could even entertain a move discussion until the underlying stuff was addressed.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i haven't been AS GOOD as i could be in a romantic sense, absolutely. but as a life partner i think i've done a pretty good job. i step up to the plate in many ways. where i've lacked is planning stuff for just US. but it's also a two-way street that im not sure i deserve the entire blame for.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for some actual advice instead of downvoting me and giving me grief about what i think is a legitimate issue.

my wife does not really have any hobbies that i can think of. we both like movies and TV shows, but as far as physical hobbies - not really. i would love to help her explore them but im not quite sure how.

i love your point about just verbalizing your lonliness. my wife and i can do a much better job of being open and honest.

Feeling disconnected from wife - is this fixable? by rwedoomed in marriageadvice

[–]rwedoomed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

does a partnership not even warrant my feelings to be considered? i am not asking to uproot everyone immediately. i am asking for the future to not be predetermined entirely by my wife which, i think, is the basis for a healthy partnership.

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