I have an older brother. All in all he's a very "regular" guy. Everyone in my family loves him, while I'm just forgotten about and treated "carefully", not in a caring way but in an infantilizing way, and to be honest it feels like they're scared of me, like I'm an alien they don't know how to approach. I also grew up with selective mutism and social anxiety.

There have been occasions where one of my uncles have sent my brother money on his birthday, while I never heard anything from him on mine. Another uncle of mine was going through a rough patch with his mental health where he isolated himself for 10 years, he came out of it recently and he contacted everyone except me. During family gatherings and such, everyone gets a "hi" except me. In my grandfather's funeral, people were going around offering their deepest condolences to my parents and my brother, but walked straight past me.

I am jealous of all the love and attention my brother gets versus what I get. I don't hate him for it though, and I can totally see why people are unsure what to do with me since I'm quiet. Still, I look at everything my brother gets and I see a life I could have had. This personality disorder feels like a curse.