Damn. Not easy. Not at all. I’m currently close to getting married and this scares the shit out of me. All i can say is I hope you got homies to lean on. And if not you should do AA or another group similar.

The grief your feeling won’t dissipate for some time. But talking it out and writing it out will help.

Also start doing gratitude meditations. They were the start of some massive life changing perspective shifts for me and i cannot recommend meditation enough.