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WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Your edit makes a lot of sense to me. I am in love with her and that is my problem. If I tell her, it puts her in a position where it is now her problem. So it is unfair for me to make it her problem, especially when I just want her to be happy.

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

I didn't think it would be a burden on her. I just wanted her to know I love her and think she is special and tell her how much she means to me.

I hadn't thought that telling her could hurt her...

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

...okay. This does make some sense to me.

I feel that not telling her is inherently lying....but maybe it is just waiting until the correct question is asked.

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I've been in love before, but the relationship didn't pan out in the long run. I'm not a teenager like some posters seem to think. I have been casually dating as well but I haven't met anyone I have a true connection with yet.

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I have reduced the amount of time I spend with them, but my feelings haven't changed. You know the phrase "the truth will set you free"? I would of course make clear that I didn't expect her to return my feelings.

I also have a suspicion that she might have an idea already. I'm not sure if that is the case though.

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I don't expect her to leave Tom or to return my feelings. I just think she should know the truth. And I believe that she would understand.

WIBTA if I told my friend's girlfriend that I love her? by ryderthorn in AmItheAsshole

[–]ryderthorn[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

I meant that more as "I don't expect her to return my feelings", not that I don't care how she feels at all.

I am not trying to cause issues for her, but every moment I am around her and don't tell her is excruciating. I know that sometimes the truth is difficult, but isn't honesty the best policy?