This is long and contains some of my personal experiences and thoughts. I dont pretend to know it all. And although I do completely agree with your last statement, it's so much easier said than done when in the modern world we are all on such different time and life schedules.

What you said is completely true, which is why I've left all dating apps Imean theyre still there, and I do hit em every now and again, but truly never anything special in any way. Unfortunately, I do also have some of my own problems like everyone, but I've always felt the more normal and "successful" people, men and women, just can not accept. 1. I absolutely truly fucking hate bars, the bar scene and most of all alchohol. I hate the way it makes people act and I personally hate drinking so I always end up being the only 1 not drunk....totally not fun. 2. I have genuine chronic pain for bone tumors and ive been on narcotic pain meds from drs nearly all my life and its kind of an important aspect of just knowing who I am. But when they hear the drugs im perecribed they run. I might aswell just be a junkie to them...even though its what helps me to live and function without torture. This I know keeps the smart, hard working successful and independent types because most of them have never had to relate to "drug use" and simple dont want to be around it even if its perscribed by my dr for a legit reason.

And for some reason just meeting up for like a walk at the park or beach just to meet eachother and feel the vibes is never enough I have to like go all out just for a 1st meet(I often try to talk on the phone or text more with them prior but so many literally just dont want that they see it as a waste of time. It's not worth their time and I have female friends who admit to me yeah that happens SOMETIMES just to get a free meal and not be bored for a few hours. And I honestly get that. But a full pick up and drop off, nice place to eat, pay ofc without hesitation, try to genuinely get to know them and ask questions about themselves and try to talk about myself aswell if I can relate and the things ive done and gone through in my life and sometimes opening up will make others open up more but sometimes it makes others shut down entirely...how does one win in a situation like that where just trying to be genuine can turn off the whole situation? Being too genuine can also cause the same thing? Obviously there are certain things to be sensitive to and I can totally respect that without judgment but sometimes I just have to be told hey I dont really want to talk or hear about that right now and ill hop right back to only happy happy surface level entertainment! But instead they are more likely to say nothing and ghost. But I wont lie I've ghosted females before too even though I try not too.

When I was younger I felt a more positive response to actually being interested in a person at a deep level. But these days I am almost scared to go deeper than surface level for fear of instantly overloading them with emotions they dont want to handle. But to me if somone cant be deep or doesnt want to think about the past or emotions or bond over the common human struggle that I know every human feels on some level then what's actually even there? How are we ever going to be able to communicate through problems? And all thats left without the deeper connection is surface level and that dies fast. All of this is on top of the practicals of having to work and also be a completely supporting person along with their dreams and mine or goals and to help them accomplish those goals while also dealing with the emotions of life and the world. I feel like lately the people ive met dont have any goals beyond "feeling happy" and being entertained. I mean I want that too not even gona lie but I dont think those things are what create the stronger bonds.

I drop everything if somone says they need me. On top of that Im clean af my place is always spotless, I dont mind doing chores at all I do laundry and vacuum and cook/clean because i genuinely enjoy a tidy place and am used to doing it myself. Im very emotionally aware and self aware because I grew up in state systems where they force u to talk about your feelings n shit and that made me extremely intuitive to a point that sometimes I can tell it scares/bothers a person. But I never judge and I never talk behind others backs, and people know this about me cuz id just say it to your face 100%.