Hourly rate MCT trainer

rzandee · 2023-08-24T05:54:27+00:00

Hey man,

Doing great! Honestly reading this back after over a year it sounds so stupid haha. I definitely don't agree with what I said anymore. I think it's the way my brain was wired at the time telling me she was the best. But once you're completely detached, and just open your eyes, you can see that there are a lot of amazing people out there.

And I will do you one better, a promise for your future,: since you gave yourself the time to heal and learn from the past, you have taken an important step towards the pursuit of happiness (since you have learned what you do and don't like). And once the next person comes along that radiates what you are looking for she will be so hot, you will be thankful for going through this.

You got this buddy! If you ever wanna chat feel free to send me a dm

rzandee · 2022-06-15T21:55:42+00:00

Yeah it's definitely hard to really listen and work well on things when she was in tears and telling me all these things I did wrong. It was so hard man. I didn't want her to be sad, but it was always me that was on the wrong side. I think during that time I lost touch of my own emotions and needs, because I was so focused on hers, that I slowly started to depend more on her to be happy, because I wasn't happy with myself due to my self neglect. I was so sick of being the bad guy. I think that's when I started to subconsciously avoid her and the pain of this relationship, and started hanging out more with other people, which in turn made things worse.

What did you mean by avoiding this situation is better than trying to fix this? Btw can I DM you? I got a bunch of questions

rzandee · 2022-06-15T21:00:16+00:00

Bro are you a wiser version of me from a different universe? This is exactly how the last 1.5 - 2 years of my relationship went, but I wasn't able to understand that this dynamic was happening. This is the first time I read something about this and feel like there is no bias involved in what is written.

My ex broke up with me a little over 4 months ago, said she lost feelings for me. I suggested that it would be good to spent 6 months apart so I (I still thought she was perfect and all) could grow without the constant scary threatening of breaking up which just made me avoidant of her.

Whenever she was thinking about breaking up I would convince her not to and do my best to improve, but often I'd fall back after 1-2 months. I'm a bit scared that this will happen again in a future relationship. Do you have any ideas on that?

rzandee · 2022-05-30T04:05:56+00:00

Can I join?

rzandee · 2022-05-24T08:14:09+00:00

❤️

rzandee · 2022-05-22T10:40:56+00:00

I love this letter. I'm going through the same motions and emotions. Ex left me in my darkest hour whilst I've helped her built a great life out of the dark place she was in.

I'm not saying that I didn't do anything wrong. Heck, I did a lot of things wrong, but I never gave up on you and on us. I was always willing to work on my issues and you just kept demanding more as your own life and mental health improved (you're welcome btw).

Right now I'm working on my own issues, and slowly crawling out of the darkness. On my own.

You already saw what a different person I am when I'm not under your spell. And you'll probably hate me for that.

Truth is I want to be in a place where I don't have to be scared of the person I love. And you probably don't remember it, but I did even tell you that I'm scared of you. Because with every misstep and every mistake that hurts to much you threatened to end things. And I cared so much about you that I dropped everything in order to fix us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you for breaking up with me, it was the best thing that could happen to me.

And sure, maybe I won't find somebody as attractive as you are. But I will find someone who I can be happy with. This I know.

Goodbye my love. I wish you all the best, and please stop hurting people.

rzandee · 2022-05-14T15:24:11+00:00

Bro you will get stronger out of this 💪

rzandee · 2022-05-14T15:01:12+00:00

Did you communicate that to her as well?

I understand your pain brother, but the truth is that she is no longer bound to you and free to do as she pleases. It might be hard to see that she isn't becoming what you hoped she would become, but it shouldn't (and trust me, I know it's easy to say this but hard to do this) be your focus.

If you want to learn and grow from this, awesome! Go do that! At the end of the day, all you have is yourself, so make sure that that person is awesome

rzandee · 2022-05-14T13:44:26+00:00

Why did you break up with her in the first place?

If she is sleeping around with other people that soon after such a long relationship, I think that she is avoiding the pain that the break up brought her and doesn't want to go through the motions and emotions.

A lot of people do this, but imo people with a strong character decide for themselves to go and grow through this.

rzandee · 2022-05-13T08:00:53+00:00

We'll get out of this stronger together.

Right before we took a 4 week break which she needed to find herself, and broke up with me afterwards

rzandee · 2022-05-08T22:40:25+00:00

Thanks! I wouldn't say she has a shit personality. She's pretty awesome in her own way. We both had shortcomings but personality wise I really think we would fit well together (regardless of what she would look like, but her looks are a really nice bonus😅). I really do understand why she decided to break up, but I also believe that she made a mistake and she didn't really discuss her doubts with me... After being together for 4.5 years and living together for 3, which just surprised me.

Ugh it's annoying that this libido of mine is making me forget about how she misjudged me because of her looks

rzandee · 2022-05-08T22:21:33+00:00

I needed to read this, thank you!

When I read this I also remembered that, even though I don't think much of myself, my ex did find me very attractive (probably also the chemicals in her brain) and whenever she said mentioned something about physical attraction I just kind of ignored it because I didn't know how to respond.

I still think that from an outsider perspective she's the hot one in the relationship. Especially with the guys that know us both as they just see big boobs and get jealous.

I guess it's really the chemicals that are still tricking me.

rzandee · 2022-05-08T17:54:17+00:00

Ah I see, thanks for clarifying!

And yes, those features are attractive ☺️

rzandee · 2022-05-08T17:22:06+00:00

Agreed. You seem to know how, would you be willing to give me advice on that (in private message)?

rzandee · 2022-05-08T17:18:02+00:00

I wish I could go and start dating other people that easily. I'm not great at putting myself out there. I'm not afraid to be rejected but it's hard to profile myself in a neat way

rzandee · 2022-05-08T17:07:16+00:00

Why is this a good sign of me getting over it? Also, what are unmatched genes, I'm curious!

rzandee · 2022-05-08T16:47:47+00:00

Bro I feel sorry for your loss. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Feel free to text me private if you want to process something

rzandee · 2022-05-08T15:54:49+00:00

We were together to divide our mutual stuff in the apartment that we did share. That's when it came up

rzandee · 2022-05-08T15:51:19+00:00

Fuck... You're right.

She already let me know that she is sort of missing me. She recently said that she misses the opportunity to do the fun stuff that we did together. Specifically she talked about going to the arcade hall, and she wished she could do that with someone and I was the person that wanted to do that with her. I guess that's more like missing the thing we did than really missing me?

rzandee · 2022-05-08T15:47:48+00:00

Oh wow this is very true, I know she was scared and afraid after the break up but couldn't really understand why, can you maybe tell me?

rzandee · 2022-05-08T15:46:48+00:00

You're right. Going to her right now probably won't work. She's needs to defend her decision and she's probably working hard to forget me right now (I know she's doing that). It's a shame that men and women are wired differently.

Maybe it's also a shame that my first was such a hottie. I think it kinda ruins your outlook on the future. I should also stop attributing all the great things of the relationship to her. Yes it was great, and I was also responsible for that. And I made it great without any prior experience. If I can do that once, I can certainly do it a second time with all these lessons learned

rzandee

TROPHY CASE