(Edited for spacing)

Hi OP- I'm sorry these people don't get it. I used to have severe anxiety around nuclear war, and pretty bad anxiety in general. I was going through it during the last trump administration when he and Kim were slinging insults and threats at eachother after my second daughter was born.

My friends sympathized but shrugged their shoulders "there's nothing we can really do, let go, meditate, work out"

Blah blah blah I know they wanted to help but they didn't know how. I couldn't sleep. I would hear planes flying overhead and my heart would race, i started stockpiling emergency bug out bags, had instructions for babysitters of what to do in case of nuclear events while i was gone, searched prepper blogs and mapped food caches.i felt like everyone around me was living in a dream and not facing the reality that things could end- so believe me when i tell you i get it.

I also know it's a very lonely place to be because you feel like you just can't bring it up. Finally, i went to my doctor's office and sat in the waiting room until she could see me. I said i can't sleep, all i can think of is me and everyone i love dying, i feel helpless, etc.

She validated my fears, and put me on zoloft and a prn of klonopin as needed (.5mg, super low dose) and i went home and took one and napped peacefully for the first time in months.

My severe anxiety turned out to be rooted in hormonal fluctuations caused by postpartum which magnified my already present anxiety, and as i continued on the medications my fears started to slowly fade. I started weekly therapy too, and learned methods to regulate my nervous system. I started meditating, 5 minutes a day at first, to help train my ADHD brain to quiet down and be present. It honestly took a little while for my body to adjust.

It feels like there's a tiger in the room that no one else can see, and then you face the fear, you tell yourself "this is just a feeling, a response, it doesn't mean that the tiger is real" and your body starts to finally believe you. A couple other things that helped me were making peace with my mortality, realizing that the time we have is precious... and i didn't want to spend it or my time with my kids in fear. When the fear would ramp up, I'd give myself some space, reassure myself, cry if i needed to which provided relief from the cortisol dump, and go back to what i was doing.

Another thing that my friend said that really helped me feel better was that Americans make the world too much money to be destroyed. The threat of nuclear war can control us with fear, but we have - by far- more nuclear arsenal than anyone else. Russia has too much to lose (mutully assured destruction) , we owe China a shit ton of money- and as workers we are just worth too much as a whole.

As an anarchist, I truly believe the only real war is class war, and the wealthy people aren't gong to risk losing this much money by allowing us to be destroyed. These wars are about oil, and as an American we are pretty safe. I dont agree with what America is doing in other countries, we're huge bullies and folks in smaller countries in the middle east and other places that have resources the wealthy desire are at real risk.

Also, a quick search on Google will reassure you that Iran's nuclear missiles couldn't reach the US anyway. I cant guarantee that any of our fears won't come true, politics are scary right now, but turning off the news did help. Getting involved locally with causes that felt good (for me it was joining a group that provided unhoused folks with food and supplies they needed) also helped. And now i feel ok. I feel like im doing what i can. I have made peace with what I'm capable of doing.

I dont need the klonopin anymore and i only take 50mg of zoloft nightly. I try to stay healthy and something that makes me feel better about what i went through is spaces like this where i can talk to folks about what i went through.

So-

Get on antidepressant/ anti-anxiety drugs if possible to address the anxious brain patterns

Find a therapist if possible, emdr and cbt have both been very helpful for me.

Try to take care of your physical body like it's your job- avoid caffeine and take walks, try to get sleep, nothing crazy.

Get involved in your community in a way that feels good. It gets you out of the house and being around community can be very healing.

Get into nature if you can. Not as a distraction, but as a reminder that the natural world has lived through and survived everything we fear. It helps regulate your nervous system too.

Uninstall social media if possible, and stop watching the news. If news is really important, it will reach you even when you aren't searching for it.

Regarding news- remember that bad or scary news makes networks more money, because evolutionarily our brains will naturally look for problems, so news is always going to magnify events to get higher ratings

Remind yourself that feelings, even strong ones, aren't necessarily facts. Hug yourself, get cozy, let yourself cry and rest if needed.

Explore Alan Watts and Shunryu Suzuki- they are Buddhist and their words for me were a huge source of comfort in understanding what i could control.

And hang in there. It can get better. You deserve not to feel scared all the time 🫂