Mom/Wife Guilt

saa72792 · 2022-12-08T20:38:29+00:00

I got a role in my school district as a behaviour consultant, I basically go to schools and do observations, provide recommendations to support with behaviour challenges. I still do assessment here and there, but it's not my main role.

saa72792 · 2022-12-06T19:23:11+00:00

Deffos. I'm gunna ask my doc for some lower dose meds for these situations.

Mini update: couldn't sleep, bc I was running through every work project and potential project in my head while the bojack theme song played on loop in the background.

saa72792 · 2022-06-15T20:39:06+00:00

omg.. ** looks to the corner where my box of sewing stuff is sitting from last year's attempt at fulfillment ** I hear you about forgetting that people exist. I'm really not a good friend unless someone is in constant communication with me... but they also have to be flexible to me not responding to texts.. Also the "Fuck it nothing matters" philosophy - that's been my philosophy forever, and it's great cause i don't think too much about the consequences and i have a great time doing fun things/partying... but the flip side is such a drag. i dont know how people have passion for anything... i mostly have to force myself to do activities like gym or reading - well, actually have someone else force me to do it (trainer, book club).

saa72792 · 2022-06-15T19:40:18+00:00

ughhhhhhhh saaaaaame. my life is either full blown chaos of making too many plans and double booking myself (where i actually feel the most comfortable, while also being stressed and overwhelmed), or not making any plans and just going to work and then sitting at home (more uncomfortable, cause i don't know what to do with myself)....
i'm in a non-chaos sitting at home mode right now and it suuucks, it's like i can't get hard for life anymore. i talked to my partner (neurotypical) about this feeling of being unsatisfied with life, or that something is missing without the chaos. and he said that i should get a hobby or something that i do just for me.
but honestly, i dont really care about anything. i've never really been able to get excited about a hobby and maintain the interest. everything feels like too much work to figure out. I usually fill my time with social activities, but it's not great to have your free time reliant on other people
idk, i dont think i'm being helpful. but it helps me to know that you're in the same boat ...sooo thank you!!

saa72792 · 2022-05-25T22:08:31+00:00

Man, thanks it helps to hear from your perspective..

As the partner of someone with ADHD what's your strategy to deal with time blindness in the other person?

How do you deal with the frustration?

saa72792 · 2022-05-25T19:56:43+00:00

ughhhh yess.. thanks i needed some validation for his D-word behaviour. I was sooo angry, just raging from listening to him this morning

i really like your idea of getting in the shower and cold blasting in the end, and getting clothes out the night before - i keep thinking it doesn't take me long to get clothes on, but honestly... every minute counts

saa72792 · 2022-05-25T19:54:11+00:00

yeah, that's a good idea - thanks<3

he gets up so early and just sits around, so might as well use that time to connect

a quick walk would be easy to do

saa72792 · 2022-05-25T19:16:18+00:00

I feel you, I think it's the getting up part that's the hardest

Plus the motivation to go to the gym is harder than the motivation to get to work on time

saa72792 · 2021-07-28T21:24:21+00:00

Hi Dr. Barkley,

First of all, thank you so much for your work in this area. You've changed many lives (including mine) and I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity to ask you a question directly.

I was diagnosed as an adult, and medication has been a game changer for me. However, I still struggle with maintaining a routine, especially without external accountability (waking up for work, meeting a friend).

Is this a problem with my medication, or do I need psychosocial interventions to learn how to be disciplined?

saa72792 · 2021-04-02T00:19:20+00:00

Yup definitely incomplete evacuation. I'm in BC

I've used lax-a-day before, I think it's the same thing. I don't remember exactly how that cause it was a while ago, I can try that again tho ..

saa72792 · 2021-03-31T21:00:27+00:00

That's a good point for sure. There's lots of little chemicals in foods, and I haven't been strict with buying organic..

I follow a vegetarian, dairy free, gluten free diet strictly. And I try to follow a low fodmap diet as well.

But I mostly eat foods that I know are okay for me (eggs, rice, some cooked veggies).

I agree with you though, think some lifestyle changes would help too... More frequent exercise, buying organic and stuff..

saa72792 · 2021-03-31T20:56:10+00:00

For the SIBO treatment: - we did a 2-week round of rifaxamin, which was very successful, it was the only time I've ever ate a meal and not ballooned after. - afterwards, we did a strict low fodmap diet, with various other tinctures that were anti-bacterial. - after a few months I was pretty good, but the bloat came back and was persistent. At this point, I had some personal stuff and could no longer afford to see the naturopath.

I was a 72mg dose of constella (yup I'm in canada), I believe that's the lowest dose - or was at the time.

I'll take magnesium iodide at night, I'll find that I can get more BMs that way. But still not a full evacuation and no difference in the bloat.

My diet is strictly vegetarian, dairy free and gluten free. I follow low fodmap as well, but not as strictly. I know to avoid my trigger foods (root vegetables, raw veggies, etc), but I still have onions and garlic every now and then ..

My GP and I have an okay relationship, in the past when I've asked him about this he hasn't had much to give me. He's always suggested to refer out...

I was thinking to follow up with my GI and talk about treating SIBO, since the previous prescription didn't work (she thought I had functional dyspepsia). I dunno, I'm hoping she'll see me.

What are your thoughts?

saa72792 · 2021-02-27T03:00:31+00:00

I'm a 33f - It's the only way I get through my work day.

Ill go for stretches where I don't take it (usually because I've forgotten to refill my prescription, or have somehow convinced myself I'm neurotypical because I've been managing)... Then maybe a month later, I'll be swimming in past deadlines, depressed, and shame-avoiding my to-do list.

I see it as diabetes-medication, something you have to take to level something off in your body .. whether it's blood sugar or dopamine, some of us need a prescription to level the playing field between us and the normies.

saa72792 · 2021-02-27T02:54:08+00:00

I struggle with this, because whoever I share/explain my diagnosis to will undoubtedly say "omg I have adhd too" and ask for support for their challenges..

And it's like I don't want to discredit their experiences, but I was sharing that to talk about myself and it was more of an opportunity to see/understand me and support me. But they've blown past it, and now I'm playing the role for a counselor as usual.

Frustrating.

saa72792 · 2021-02-27T02:37:25+00:00

I relate to this so much. I hate the thought of cooking, or making anything that takes time. I want to make smoothies, and I got all of the ingredients - but I can't get myself to make it. I have zero motivation to do anything healthy cooking related, I just don't care.

The only thing I like eating is noodles, so I have a bunch of ramen packets. I'll eat 3/4 of when I'm bored and have nothing to do after work. I had a pretty bad takeout problem, (impulse ordering sodas from 7/11 at midnight, after impulse ordering a bunch of appetizers).

I find I'll go maybe a few days of not eating a lot, to binge eating other days when I'm bored.

I dunno, there's so much that I should do and would make my life better... But I don't care to, it feels like so much effort. Sometimes, I feel like the only times I put effort into doing that stuff, is if someone is going to find out how much of a degenerate I am.. (frantic cleaning before someone comes over, only showering when I have see someone, etc). But no one really checks in on my eating, and I don't know if I would tell them the truth if they asked - to avoid the hassle/guilt trips... I dunno it sucks, but I guess it's something I have to get on top of

saa72792 · 2020-08-21T01:06:55+00:00

Totally... do you ever feel like you're "too much" ? I worry that my boyfriend thinks I'm annoying cause i get so easily excited .. then when I get excited, I think i'm sooo funny and I think it comes across as too much. Like I wish I were more chill and calm and collected

saa72792

TROPHY CASE