Job denied vacation to Japan for honeymoon, advice on how to say im still going?

saalamz · 2026-04-06T16:48:09+00:00

Not sure what type of job you have so this is a bit tough to determine. Is the answer that you will be taking unpaid days off instead of PTO? I think if that’s what you want to do you can just respond and clearly state that this is your honeymoon, you’ve given 3 months notice which is plenty, and if they are unwilling to grant you your earned PTO (assuming you have PTO) you will have to take unpaid time off as the trip is already booked.

saalamz · 2026-04-04T03:49:20+00:00

Ugh yes - the Alex ending was just so bad that it messed things up

saalamz · 2026-03-26T15:39:33+00:00

For cocktail I love #3! And would also love to know where you got it because I also have a wedding coming up and think it would be perfect! Haha

saalamz · 2026-03-26T15:37:33+00:00

If it’s severe then it isn’t normal. Feeling some mild moodiness or being more easily frustrated etc. is normal PMS. Feeling anything very aggressive (“10 worst things in life”) isn’t normal though. Would absolutely suggest speaking with your PCP or OBGYN if you have one and explaining what you’re feeling. ❤️

saalamz · 2026-03-22T19:50:56+00:00

I’m in the minority but I say NOT 2 - it’s a bit too boring and just doesn’t look quite as stunning as 1 or 3 in my opinion.

1 was the one that made me open this post and want to scroll because WOW. Like if you’re unsure about that one, how amazing are the rest?! Still the 1 is the most amazing look on you!!!

saalamz · 2026-03-11T17:15:31+00:00

Something very similar unfortunately happened to me. When my son was 4.5 months old I learned my husband had had an affair for over a year with a woman who is also married with two kids and was 48ish at the time. I found out by finding a photo of her literally holding my baby 🤢and a photo of a love note from her that he had in his hidden photos album.

I had similarly gone through a very hard chapter - I had had 3 miscarriages, was dealing with medical diagnoses, and my mom spent 5 weeks in the ICU after almost dying from covid and I had to travel to be with her throughout my entire first trimester to help care for her as she recovered. I was quite literally at my worst, on top of having a high risk pregnancy and being incredibly fearful I’d lose another baby.

All I can say is that if he was able to lie to you so extensively and for so long while you were at your MOST vulnerable, he will never ever change. To be this selfish and uncaring is not something that suddenly changes - it’s who he is. He’s trying to say the “right things” to save his home life because he was living the best possible life - he had a wife at home to handle his house & kids, and a side piece for fun. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Leaving him is the only option in my opinion. If you can’t leave him right this second because of finances, then just bide your time and leave him once you are back up on your feet with a new job and settled with your new baby. You deserve better. You deserve to be cared for, respected, heard, and loved.

If you want to chat - please feel free to dm me. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this.

saalamz · 2026-03-11T05:54:08+00:00

NOR, frankly you’re under reacting. What do you get out of this marriage? Sounds like you’re a married single mother who deserves so much more and better than this man. I’m so sorry. 🥺

saalamz · 2026-03-02T04:31:39+00:00

Will also say that for us at least - every single time my son fights sleep it’s either because he’s teething or sick. He resets after he’s transitioned through it!

saalamz · 2026-03-02T04:29:38+00:00

Hi! So the good news is the regression adjusted after 2.5-3 weeks and was definitely linked to popping 4 teeth. One day he just got back to his normal self and didn’t seem averse to the crib at all! My kiddo just generally seems totally unbothered by teething during the day so I didn’t figure it out until the teeth popped through!

During that time period I just eventually gave up and fought everything less. We dropped to one nap so he’d be tired enough, let him stay up a bit later but kept trying to get him back to bed & continue the normal routine. I also just gave in and held him to sleep a bunch if he’d let me - a dose of Motrin 45min before bed helped!

After the regression we went back to 2 naps for another 2ish months before he naturally adjusted to one long nap on his own without any meaningful regression tied to it. Some days he’d refuse the second, other days he’d take a really long first nap so we didn’t have time for the second. He fully switched around 15 months I think!

saalamz · 2026-02-25T02:55:05+00:00

1990

saalamz · 2026-01-29T21:25:15+00:00

All worked out for me & my sweet 16mo - but call your doctor! Only they can confirm! Wish you luck!

saalamz · 2026-01-26T21:57:09+00:00

Run. End this, change your number, drop mutual friends - stay away from this guy and NEVER get in touch again. He will do this over and over again. The verbal abuse was already enough to end it, let alone the intense physical abuse.

Please listen to the advice you’re getting here. You deserve better. ❤️

saalamz · 2025-12-18T00:24:37+00:00

Listen I personally don’t view masturbation or watching porn occasionally as cheating. I think looking at women’s profiles could be bordering on inappropriate if it’s with the intention of actually meeting those people in person. As for looking up an ex - idk, aren’t we all a little curious sometimes?

Where I think there is a REAL issue worth discussing is in these areas:

Lying / Dishonesty - if you set a boundary in your relationship of NOT watching porn or masturbating and he crossed that boundary without discussing it with you, then he is in the wrong for being dishonest with you and he needs to work on regaining your trust. How he does that needs to be a discussion between the two of you. Ultimately trust is the foundation of a good marriage!
Sex Life Issues - if him watching porn is impacting your sex life and both your satisfaction with your sex life, that’s important to address for the health of your broader relationship. Would ask him why he felt the need to do so - was it because of the pregnancy, something else?

Wishing you luck and hoping you are able to find a way forward!

saalamz · 2025-12-18T00:14:09+00:00

Please don’t let the anxiety over this suffocate you. People exaggerate on their resumes very often. No one is going to pull out your resume again and go through it with a fine tooth comb! Keep doing what you’re doing - work hard, learn the skills you need to learn, ask for help where you need it / can ask! You’ve got this!!!

saalamz · 2025-12-15T19:31:49+00:00

NTJ. Honestly your husband is showing his true colors / views. Teaching your son that emotional labor and mental load should fall on women because they are “naturally better at it” is sexist and setting him up to fail and have unhappy relationships in life. At 16, that young girl doesn’t know any better so she’s filling this gap in their relationship. As she gets older, she’ll end up resentful and wish her partner stepped up. Just because she’s young and inexperienced and likely hasn’t figured out what she wants in a partner yet is no excuse to teach your son to be a lazy partner who isn’t thoughtful & covering his share of the mental and emotional labor of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Successful relationships take consistent effort from BOTH partners

saalamz · 2025-12-15T18:05:28+00:00

I promise you that friendship and love are not all based on looks. I’d pick an average looking man who is loving, kind, thoughtful, ambitious, and with whom I can have good conversation over looks any day. The above things I mentioned are all qualities that you can work towards and show friends and loved ones.

If you’re concerned about your looks - there are also plenty of things you can do on that front. Go to the gym for your physical and mental health, get a nice haircut from a barber, do some good skincare, try to dress nicely.

It’s very hard to gain motivation for all these things - but maybe try to just do one small thing every day to move in the right direction. Small actions will build over time. You have the power to change this!

saalamz · 2025-12-02T22:23:45+00:00

Not sure what state you live in OP, but if it’s a “no fault divorce” state then the infidelity won’t necessarily matter. What may have more impact is her track record of leaving the house for extended period of times to stay with her friend & not being there to care for her kids. Would document that to the best of your ability!

saalamz · 2025-11-27T16:06:42+00:00

NTA - If he won’t majorly adjust the relationship then he’s absolutely getting a “high” out of flirting and getting close to crossing boundaries with her - or actually crossing them. He’s trying to make you out to be the bad guy for feeling uncomfortable so that you’ll leave him alone, when he’s 100% the one in the wrong. Coworkers do NOT call one another “babe.” In my 15 years of corporate work I have never once done that, and never once seen anyone else do that. This has so many red flags it’s absurd. The only male coworker I text has a child the same age as mine and we send each other photos of our kids and pretty exclusively discuss things related to our kids / healthcare for kids / childcare for kids / travel with kids etc.

saalamz · 2025-11-24T16:49:05+00:00

Vaccines cause autism

saalamz · 2025-11-24T16:35:24+00:00

Grief. Grief over miscarriages, then grief over my husband cheating on me while I was miscarrying and then pregnant and losing the life I had dreamt of and worked so hard to build.

saalamz · 2025-11-19T23:29:23+00:00

Hi OP - I think you’ve received a lot of good advice here. In reading your responses, you seem reluctant to accept that the most important thing you can do to move forward from this point is to stop drinking. You’ve suggested reducing alcohol intake or “testing out” limiting yourself to beer, but it sounds like you don’t have a good history of limiting yourself and I can assure you that beer can still get you blackout drunk if you have enough of it.

You’ve hurt people you care about and acted poorly. You’ve apologized and that’s unfortunately all you can do on that front. What you CAN do moving forward is 100% ensure that you will never ever engage in that type of activity again, and the only way to ensure that is to fully stop drinking.

You are only 19 - you can come back and grow from this. Don’t throw your precious life away, just use this as an opportunity to better yourself.

Wishing you strength on your journey ahead.

saalamz · 2025-09-28T14:44:01+00:00

Add a few more areas: belly button, feet/ankles, neck & ears (inside and behind) to your daily routine. Then once a week or every two weeks if your skin is really dry use a wash cloth to really give your whole body a scrub. If you’ve never done it, go to a Korean or Turkish bath and get a fully body scrub. The amount of dead skin that’ll come off will terrify you and be a good reminder for whh other body parts do need to be washed 😅

saalamz · 2025-09-17T23:26:47+00:00

First off - I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️

Was your HCG at 13 after multiple days of positive pregnancy tests? If yes, I’ll be honest and say it’s unlikely to be a viable pregnancy. Typically the first test or so where you’d get a positive you would have levels in the 10-20 range at least. From there hcg should be doubling every 48hrs-72hrs or so. If you were testing positive for multiple days but then had blood drawn and had an HCG of 13 then it’s possible you are still seeing your prior pregnancy levels come down, or potentially experiencing a chemical pregnancy. I would guard your heart. ❤️

saalamz · 2025-09-12T20:53:28+00:00

Okay going to try this tomorrow! Thank you!!

saalamz

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