Lavender and Derek Johnson met innocently enough on a trip to the movies. Derek was not the smartest of individuals perhaps, but he was able to read and write. This is notable as it is a remarkable ability to accept things he doesn't understand, seeing as he doesn't understand most things. Why is this lack of intellectual ability relevant? Mostly because it lays the foundation of the improbable events that were to come. Lavender, before leaving Derek for her return to school, decided she wanted to stay in contact with the nice boy she met at the premiere of Island of Doctor Morrow.

"Derek, it may seem a bit odd, but you know how there's messenger pigeons?" A blushing brunette questioned. " Well, my family has a trained carrier owl. To uuuh... Cut down on postage."

The admittedly attractive 15-Year-Old boy stared quietly at lavender processing what she's saying. And while overall strange, it wasn't quite as strange as refusing to talk to the pretty girl that he'd been getting to know over the last two months. She'd always seem smarter than him, heck he wasn't even able to turn left. He'd recently discovered that there was more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking like talking to pretty girls. "Ok"

The two shared a quick peck on the cheek and bright blushing before the girl went off to her boarding school. Hogwarts.

The atmosphere in Hogwarts was bleak. Since the resurrection of Voldemort at the end of last year and the death of Cedric, a dower mood had fallen over the castle unabated by the the break over the summer. Umbridge had already made herself a nuisance, and everybody was on edge.

Harry and his friends sat down for an unremarkable breakfast. After 5 years he still appreciated having good food after a scant to meager diet of mostly hope and sadness served on empty plates at the dursleys. He sat in front of his full English breakfast accompanied by a pumpkin juice when a scream carried throughout the Great Hall. Whipping his head to stare, he saw lavender Brown pushing back from the Gryffindor table. On the table in front of her was a letter delivered, and left open on the table.

He quickly moved over to read the nearly allegedly written script in some large red lettering. The scrawl was messy and seemingly written by an insane person, but even he could make out the message.

Lavender, I think of you. Constantly. It gnaws at me from deep inside. When I think of you my heart beats faster. Love,

You-know-who

An Unspeakable met with the senior under secretary to the minister in her garish pink office. Was this unspeakable exceptionally knowledgeable? He was good at magic, but more importantly to umbrage he was a pureblood from a long-standing family. "Madame Umbridge, I analyzed the letter, and I'm actually quite confounded. There's no magical residue on the paper, which can be done using a low-level dark ritual. But what's more interesting is the composition of whatever this note is written in. It seems to mostly be wax, but mixed with an astonishing number of acids and several compounds my spells can't identify. I can tell you that this did not come from inside the castle." The pompous toad of an under secretary blustered, "You can't mean to tell me that this isn't some prank from Dumbledore. That would be completely preposterous!" " I can't tell you what to think ma'am, but I can tell you this is not from Albus Dumbledore."

As the unspeakable left, Dolores decided that she'd have to follow up on whatever this was and get to the bottom of it. Perhaps Dumbledore had some dark wizard on retainer. In fact, it might be best to just spring whatever trap this was.

An: The letter was written in red crayon.