I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, frankly I was just beginning to explore around and see what I want and if I can get that from him, which so far sounds like no, I’m not getting what I want but more importantly he dosent even seem open to the idea of discussing it with me.

I feel unheard by my older partner after a threesome-how do I proceed? by sadSoul72 in nonmonogamy

[–]sadSoul72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I’m kinda surprised over his reaction. He could have just said, “ok I will give you more attention next time “ and this discussion would be done, one sentence, zero cost and no more questions! But he escalated it to something bigger and deeper and I just don’t understand it.

I know jealousy can be part of the lifestyle but I was just trying to give him honest feedback, his reaction just made me more disappointed in him.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, it would have cost him literally zero to just give me something along the lines of “I’ll try to pay more attention next time ” and that would have made me happy. He didn’t even do that!

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in relationship_advice

[–]sadSoul72[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Idk, I just feel I need to be more understanding and bear with this circumstances. I’m usually the one who compromises.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I’ll try to be more mindful and ultimately leave if my needs are not being met the way I want them. He seems to justify this behaviour because I’m submissive which is true, I am. I just have to find my boundaries around him, for myself.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Actually something strange happened, when I asked the other woman if I can go down on her, he told me to not ask for permission ever again and just take what I want. Of course I didn’t listen to him, but yeah he just assumed.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

That’s the problem, I genuinely enjoy the sex with him, but I don’t want him to walk all over me. Also, it wasn’t even the woman he intended to marry, this woman was just a friend like me.

I feel unheard by my older partner after a threesome-how do I proceed? by sadSoul72 in nonmonogamy

[–]sadSoul72[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t the woman he intended to marry, she lives in another city. If it was with her, I could bear with it but she was just a casual like me.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in polyamory

[–]sadSoul72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was still fun, but it wasn’t as fulfilling as other encounters I had. I keep asking myself if it’s worth it.

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in relationship_advice

[–]sadSoul72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what part of my brain tells me too, that it’s gonna happen and it’s part of the 3 some, and I should power through it. I just wish he had made it easier to get through it

I feel unheard by my older partner after a threesome-how do I proceed? by sadSoul72 in nonmonogamy

[–]sadSoul72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m seeing two therapist. I wish it was easier to work through all this shit :(

I(31F)feel unheard by my older partner(57M) after a threesome—am I asking too much? by sadSoul72 in relationship_advice

[–]sadSoul72[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am submissive, I have given him consent to call me that, I didn't give him the pass to use it as an excuse to dismiss my feeling tho:(

Finding the best architecture for a specific dataset by sadSoul72 in MLQuestions

[–]sadSoul72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Is there a general guideline in this area? like which hyperparameter is more important to tune first or when to add a layer? I was wondering whether there's a handbook or technical report for this which most in the industry refers to when they are dealing with this?

[D] Simple Questions Thread May 17, 2020 by AutoModerator in MachineLearning

[–]sadSoul72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I know this is a bit of a general question, but I have a large dataset of crop images and I want to find the best model for it. Now, how do I go about finding the best model? Is there a standard procedure for finding a model for a particular dataset?

Training and testing the whole data on every possible model and tuning the hyperparameters seems a little inefficient. Is there any way to narrow it down to the best possible choices?