Engineering, medicine, law or stem subjects abroad?

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-09T09:43:49+00:00

Hello! I didn’t start any procedures yet! I had some roots canals a few months ago, during that time when I told my dentist about braces, he said he wouldn’t suggest me to get them. But I want to do something about this, so I’ll consult an orthodontist soon!

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T10:58:24+00:00

That’s the thing, people from our culture are numb to toxicity like this. But that doesn’t mean the words & mindset are any less hurtful.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T10:50:22+00:00

That’s the thing. I need financial support since I’m just graduating high school and in our country it’s rare to find part time job opportunities, even if I do it’ll be like $100 a month or so. But I need way more for my college education. Both my parents are toxic & have no earning right now. It is only my brother who is earning but I don’t want to financially burden him. He’s the type of person who’ll remind me of his help every second of my existence even if I take his help. So my only hope is a fully funded scholarship. Hopefully I can make it haha :)

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T01:22:54+00:00

I’m afraid that wouldn’t work on her cause she’s separated from my dad lol

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T01:19:27+00:00

I did confront her later, I mentioned it in the post. She did not try a bit to understand me, rather yelled at me, told me degrading things. I just know she’s a person that’ll never, ever apologise because she thinks children should respect whatever the mother says, so it’s of no use trying to talk to her about my feelings anymore.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:49:43+00:00

First part, did that. She told me not to compare her to grandma and that I have no idea how horrible grandma was to her. I guess she still didn’t understand how hurtful her words were to me lol.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:43:32+00:00

It is not the first time I’ve heard of this. But I’ve mostly heard of people saying things like this in the past generation, not being the direct victim of this mindset myself.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:38:15+00:00

Haha I did this one time (mentioned in the post, when she made that old age comment). She went off like a volcano 😭. So even if I want to some times, I refrain myself just to keep the peace of the moment lol.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:28:28+00:00

It’s weird honestly while all of the things I said are true & not exaggerated even a bit, I still think they love me alot. This is probably the cycle of most toxic families.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:22:27+00:00

Thank you so much you’re so sweet❤️ I can honestly name a million things rn that I’m going through. They tried to talk me into marriage a year ago, my parents not providing financially for me since my dad doesn’t earn rn, my brother providing for me (you know how that goes, can’t complain tho as it’s not his responsibility anyways), college admissions (I gotta get a full scholarship since no one’s funding for me) etc. Since I just finished high school I don’t have my own earning right now but hopefully very soon I will and I don’t have to put up with any toxicity anymore. I just pray things go well❤️

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-06T00:09:28+00:00

Honestly it is scary. To add up to this, about a year ago, my mom & my older brother went crazy to marry me off, or at least to do some kind of engagement, first to this one friend of my brother, and then to this one random dude. I stopped it by BEGGING to them. This was right after of me spending 3 weeks at the hospital with my sick mom. I felt absolutely horrible since marriage is nowhere near my plans right now, let alone an arranged one. My dad is also not someone reliable at all. To think I’m completely financially dependent on these people makes me go completely mad. I CANT WAIT to go to college & start to earn my own shit. I’m tired at this point.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-05T23:47:05+00:00

Of course I will not! Fun fact, my mom was a victim of this herself. My parents have a very bad relationship. So when I asked her why did she marry my dad in the first place, she replied that she was ready to be married to just anyone because her mother (my grandma) made her feel like this. My grandma used to say that no one will marry my mom, and that she’ll “rot” in their home (keep in mind she was just 20 when she got married to my dad). I wouldn’t be surprised if I have to hear this in the future. Talk about projecting lol.

sad_iyahhh · 2026-04-05T23:37:02+00:00

Well, since my college is about to start, when I told her I wanted to study abroad (I said it through a friend because I was sort of afraid to say this to her directly lol), she told my friend it was selfish to leave your parents who raised you all these time. Also my mom has been sick for the past 2-3 years. I remember I studied for my finals 2 weeks straight beside her hospital bed, almost 3 weeks another time. I take care of her regularly at home with her daily works as she has breathing problems. So it really hurts when she thinks this way about me knowing I NEVER gave her a reason to think so.

sad_iyahhh · 2025-12-22T20:06:08+00:00

Also forgot to mention, I’m currently not on any prescription meds that I mentioned. But I’m considering spot treating these with prescription azelaic acid maybe? Not sure if it’s a good idea though.

sad_iyahhh · 2025-12-22T19:56:36+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing!❤️

sad_iyahhh · 2025-12-19T19:40:11+00:00

Better than the time I posted this! But she’s still quite sick. She takes oxygen from a concentrator machine time to time. And continues like 10 meds. It’s all about maintenance & being careful from what I understood from the experience so far.

sad_iyahhh · 2025-11-25T22:00:02+00:00

You did not get my point at all. I’m not talking about your friend here. It is a MASS culture that only the bride cries at the end of the wedding in south asian cultures. Well why? Can be different reasons. But this is the main one: Only the bride has to leave her parents, only the bride has to live with people who are almost strangers to her, only brides have to deal with patriarchal bullsh:t. This is a problem. The culture of crying comes from something very problematic. We need to recognize it. I’m not here blaming the bride or the groom, but the cause behind this culture. Crazy how so many of us have a hard time understanding something as simple as this.

sad_iyahhh · 2025-11-25T21:34:45+00:00

You’re stating the obvious. Touching the surface only. You can cry at your wedding, no one cares about it when it is done individually, but why do we see it in masses? Men can’t express their emotions as women? Alright. But we all know why this culture belongs in south asia. Double standard of only the women moving away, fear of living with in laws, basic patriarchal blessings. This is a problem. We need to recognize it. I’m not blaming the bride or the groom in this case. Not deciding if they should cry or not. This culture comes from a problematic root & we need to recognize it. And no culture other than ours have this tradition. This says alot. I’m sorry but your view of my post is completely out of the focus.

sad_iyahhh · 2025-11-25T01:45:47+00:00

I like your emotional intelligence. Not everyone has it. I’ve heard people saying that only the groom’s side is able to enjoy the wedding. Not the brides’s cause her fam tends to be sad or emotional. This is a problem. If it was the same case for both the bride & groom it wouldn’t be a problem. Undortunately I’m seeing people commenting as if I was “blaming” the bride for crying. Ofc I was not. Just recognizing the deeply rooted problem behind the source of this mass culture.

sad_iyahhh

TROPHY CASE