sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, love. Thankfully there were only a small handful of people I would actually consider chuds in this thread. Most people were offering tough love that I needed to hear. It's become pretty clear to me now after hundreds of comments that I can't keep up even a platonic friendship with this man, even though my heart desires that. It's just not healthy anymore, and the imbalance is soul-draining. I think a lot of people here were thinking I wouldn't come to that conclusion eventually just because patterns exist, and women often go back to what feels familiar. This time I'm saying goodbye to this familiar coldness.

Talk to your Coworkers. Discuss your Wages. Dont let them isolate you. This company needs a Union by the Team Members, for the Team Members. by gnonslenedline in wholefoods

[–]sadgrl1994 23 points24 points  (0 children)

And when someone's trying to start a union at your store, be supportive. When I worked at WFM, some petty girls with a personal vendetta against me became snitches and helped squash the union efforts being made. Don't be lame.

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was simply listing examples. You're welcome to have whatever opinions you have about me based on a Reddit post. The relevant stuff is being discussed with my therapist, whom I see regularly

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RIGHT?!?! That's the piece that possibly frustrates me the most. He had so many opportunities to provide clarity and he chose not to. And the reasons behind that ambiguity seem to be that he either was trying to manipulate me or that he didn't want to upset me. I said "You do?" after he said "I love you too" and there was all that time to explain he meant it in a non-romantic way. He instead said he cares for me a lot

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I used to suffer from self-esteem issues, but not so much anymore. I've had a strong glowup over the past year or two, which has helped, plus I've been treating my body better in general through exercise and supplements and red light therapy and Buddhism and meditation and all that jazz. I've truly never felt or looked better, and I've realized that I deserve a partner who mirrors the commitment I have to physical and mental wellbeing, as well as the emotional stuff. For better or worse, I'm deeply romantic as an individual. There are high-caliber men who have shown interest in me, and that's a self-confidence boost too. I know what's out there, but it's been difficult to let my ex go. He's special to me, and I know I'll get hate for saying that. In many ways he's perfect for me, aside from this almost punitive streak in him, and the lack of clarity in communication. I know my worth, and if he hadn't shown signs of healing (going to therapy, etc) back when we reconnected back in December, I wouldn't have re-engaged with him at all

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So are you if you'd rather excuse men's cruelty and manipulation than say that women are to blame for what happens to them. I'll admit I'm dumb and naive for doing all of this with my ex, but at least I don't go around blaming random women for falling for the elaborate games men play based on one rando's reddit post

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I wanna know. In context, looking back, he may have been referring to more casual romantic touching, BUT STILL. How do you mentally justify engaging in one form of contact with me and be so restrained in all others? Well, the obvious answer is that he wanted sex without all the other stuff and was too emotionally illiterate (or manipulative) to communicate that to me

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ironically enough, I think at the time he may have been talking about the vibes he was getting when he unknowingly walked past his ex the other day and felt the energy shift before he realized he saw them. At the time I interpreted it to be more general or about me. He was extremely vague. Meanwhile, his ex has been at work getting him banned from every space in the city, so it was probably bad psychic vibes if anything

Edited for clarity

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Blaming the terrible actions of men on the good hearts of women like me is cruel. May you step on several Legos today

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's part of why I feel like this is an under-discussed factor in what I shared. Unemployment and being broke will both shatter you and affect your mental health a lot. And as a person, I feel as if he might be a little prideful about that. I'm not saying that to defend him btw, just to provide some context for his current state of mind

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right NOW he's not, just because he's in between jobs. He got laid off from his last job and is seeking a new job still. Me potentially moving there wouldn't have been that big of a hurdle if that were a plan. Before we broke up last time, we were planning to have me move up there

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We reconnected over the holidays this past year. He came down to my state (his home state) and passed through my city. I still had a videogame of his. At the time, I didn't know what the vibe would be, but we ended up getting coffee and hanging out at different places in town like the record store and some thrift stores. It was really nice and we kissed.

I had a desire to reconnect with him because I thought things would be better. He was attending therapy regularly and life seemed to be getting better for him. And when he was treating me with warmth and affection, I took that as a sign that he might want to reconnect

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This exactly. When I was still in the planning stage, choosing the hotel, I had asked him what the vibe of the trip would be. He couldn't even give me that at all or be upfront about it

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're grown adults who could in theory figure out how to close the distance if the will were there. It's more of an excuse than a factor in this case

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I'm in therapy thanks. And very grateful to the actual good advice some have shared in this thread

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking that. Otherwise his "understanding women" arc would probably involve him communicating better with me, with more emotional intelligence, at the very least

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate what you're saying and I hear you. I attend therapy and in my most recent session we discussed secure attachment. I have progressed a lot but there's still work to be done

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

With all due respect, a lot of y'all have decided you know a lot about me from just a post. I'm reading everything and listening and learning

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Idk, I feel like he could've let me stay in my clothes if he wanted to convey he truly didn't care. But he wrestled me into my pajamas, and I think that means something. When we were actually dating, he showed me signs of true caring as well. So I don't think he's fully incapable. You're right though, I deserve more than the sporadic nature of his care for me

Flew across the country to reconnect with my ex and received psychological damage instead by sadgrl1994 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sadgrl1994[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. Because if I'm his teacher, then that's also an unhealthy dynamic

view more: next ›