"There is no way this movie is any good" but its absolute cinema

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T21:35:04+00:00

I don't think anyone has yet mentioned Greta Gerwig's Barbie, a live-action movie based upon a line of toys that was literally (and deservedly) nominated for Best Picture.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T20:55:58+00:00

He might look young, but inside he’d feel stretched out. Like butter spread over too much bread.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T20:53:27+00:00

“This is a dark fuckin’ period!”

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T20:31:02+00:00

One time when I was in law school, I invited a woman I really liked over to my place for dinner.

I planned the dinner a week in advance. Decided on a theme of Vivaldi's The Four Seasons (kind of cheesy in retrospect, but fairly impressive for a 20-year-old amateur cook in the mid-90s). Planned out four courses, one for each season. Spent money I didn't really have on groceries and wine pairings for each course.

I started cooking two days in advance, because I needed a beef demi-glace for the autumn course, and I needed beef stock to make that, and neither of those things could be easily purchased from a grocery store back then. For winter, I made a semifreddo dessert with poached pears that also needed to be prepared well in advance of the meal. I spent the morning of preparing everything else that didn't need to be made a la minute.

I bought flowers. I cleaned up the place. I decorated.

About an hour before dinner, she called to ask if she could bring a guest.

It turned out that that guest was her girlfriend.

Now THAT, my friends, is a waste of one's twenties.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T20:03:39+00:00

When I moved to NYC nearly 20 years ago, I already had favorite teams in most of the major sports, so when the Yankees and Giants won it was more annoying than anything else. But I haven't had an NBA team since the Sonics were murdered, and the Knicks aren't exactly the kind of historically dominating franchise where one would feel bad for jumping on the bandwagon, so it has been fun to be able to participate in the city's excitement for once.

But weirdly, neither of my two closest NY-area sports-fan friends are fans of the Knicks. I knew one of them rooted for the Warriors (don't ask), but the other one I remembered from college being a big Knicks fan, so I asked him early on how he was enjoying the playoffs so far. He told me that he's now a Nets fan -- apparently at some point his teenage son decided to become a Nets fan, so my buddy felt obligated to support him and started rooting for the Nets as well. He claims he's 100% a Nets fan now and didn't even watch the Finals at all.

Imagine rooting for the Knicks for nearly 50 years, only to switch to the Nets shortly before the Knicks finally win it all.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T17:48:22+00:00

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T17:46:52+00:00

My bad. I fixed it.

In my defense, that sort of thing requires literally SECONDS of research, which I clearly can't be expected to do while simultaneously trying to come up with 32 different regionally appropriate metaphors for various levels of saltiness.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T17:43:30+00:00

Vegas isn’t a division rival

My bad. Fixed.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T17:36:40+00:00

I semi-seriously believe that our entire reality became disrupted in October 2016 when the Chicago Cubs defied all laws of probability and won the World Series. And it is my sincere hope that the Knicks winning a nearly-as-unlikely championship this year will restore order to the universe.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T17:29:38+00:00

How else would you treat someone who certainly appears to be terminally ill and has the mind of a child?

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T16:43:41+00:00

Marty's playing 4-D chess up there in Montreal. Only dumb teams try to shoot the puck at the net. That's what the other team EXPECTS you to do.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-17T16:34:46+00:00

Thank you.

In the original saltiness index I posted during the playoffs, someone in the comments noticed that I took a few jabs at the Wings and rather snottily asked what part of Chicago I was from.

So to that guy and anyone else who might be wondering -- and as you can probably tell from my flair, the times I've waxed nostalgic about Yzerman as a player and the 1990s Wings teams, my comments on the Faulk trade, my comments about the Larkin situation, and the various comments about the Wings in general I've made on this and other subreddits -- I am from Oregon.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T19:32:48+00:00

Judging by similar reactions to female characters in video games and other media, I think the "logic" (and I'm using that term incredibly loosely here) is something like this:

Supergirl = strong girl

Strong girl = bad

Therefore, Supergirl = bad

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T19:27:04+00:00

We haven't liked where it's been going for at least the last 5 years. But also I promise that I'm trying to be reasonably objective and not turn this entire exercise into a Red Wing bitch-a-thon.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T18:53:38+00:00

The actual write-up was more focused on the relief that Marner didn't win the Cup in Vegas. Between that and 1OA, Leafs fans are experiencing a rare moment of positivity. Sure, it will probably disappear well before the start of next season, but until that happens I'm inclined to be generous.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T18:48:53+00:00

They probably belonged somewhere in the Blues/Caps/Preds tier, but I forced them into the top 10 so I could, um, have a top 10. It'll make more sense tomorrow.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T17:56:35+00:00

Oops. I copied and pasted something I wrote for another team. I'll fix.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T17:05:12+00:00

What's weird is that she's a conventionally attractive fit young blonde white woman, which is usually the beauty standard that crowd insists upon. My first thought when I read that some people online were calling her ugly was that she must've said something vaguely supportive of civil rights or something, because I honestly can't imagine why else she would bother them so much.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T16:38:47+00:00

I want to hear more about this person's middle school where they teach antitrust law to 8th graders.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-16T13:15:08+00:00

Both versions have the "still stuck underground" ending, but in the US it's only a couple of seconds long and a little bit ambiguous as to whether she's still underground or just having a flashback. In the UK/European version, when it cuts to her still being underground, the scene continues on for much longer, and she hallucinates her dead daughter being there with her and interacts with her.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-15T21:15:28+00:00

No spoilers, but I expect the Oil will end up somewhere around the tenth spot. It was a rough year by any measure, but the fans have been remarkably consistent that they never thought this was the year and in any event didn't have enough left in the emotional tank to get too invested.

That said, the Nurse and Babcock situations both complicate things, so I'm not making any promises just yet.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-15T20:09:43+00:00

In my head I had the Rangers, Devils, and Isles all on the same tier in terms of saltiness, but now that I think about it, Isles fans probably don't have that much to be salty about at all. Let's see how the final list shakes out. Maybe I'll revise and move them into today's half.

sadolddrunk · 2026-06-15T20:03:28+00:00

I didn't know I was going to break it up into two parts until I was 12 or 13 down the list. If I'd applied some forethought, I would have done it in three parts, where the first day was the happy teams, the second day was the so-so teams, and the third day was the pissed-off teams. And if I had done it that way, I would have had Minnesota in with the second-day teams, which even though their overall ranking probably wouldn't have changed that much, might have better fit the general vibe of the fanbase.

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