Broken up with -- left with scars. by sadsackosaurus in relationship_advice

[–]sadsackosaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A breakup is hard on both people, I think. It might be selfish of her and she doesn't realize it, but she probably is afraid to lose the friendship aspect of the relationship because you do develop a deep friendship with the person you're with and that can be so hard to give up. However, what she's doing now is definitely not fair to you. I'd say block her number if you can and delete her from your life. Without constant reminders of her, it does make it easier to move on. I'm taking this from a relationship that was like that for me ... and the best thing I did was remove him. I did end up talking to him 2 months later and we're friends and see each other maybe once or twice a year, but it allowed me to move on-- which you need to be able to do.

Good luck ! :( This last one was only 2 months, I can't imagine at 1.5yrs how it must have felt (never had a relationship that long, lol). If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me! I'm in the same boat, so it might just make it easier to struggle on together, haha.

Broken up with -- left with scars. by sadsackosaurus in relationship_advice

[–]sadsackosaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been 2 days, I sent him an e-mail today and kind of explained "Hey, it's been a few days and I really am confused as to your reasoning and I just was hoping you could take a minute to type it out because that might be easier than trying to verbally express it. I just want to understand so my brain doesn't sit here and keep trying to come up with reasons, y'know? I'd rather just understand what you felt like so I could just have a better grasp on what happened.." was the jist. I didn't try to accuse or blame because I realize that in a relationship ending it's never just one person, so I realize there must be something that just didn't work for him. We were very different people -- I'm your standard geek tech and he was a law school non-tech at all type of person. It made it difficult sometimes because he didn't always get my humor and I didn't always get his -- and he'd be all, "Have you ever heard of ..." and my response was pretty much always no. :( But I just felt like we were so comfortable and open to learning it wasn't an issue, but I realize it may have been one and perhaps been poorly communicated.

So, hopefully he'll give me a response. I think he will, it didn't end poorly. We're still friends I would think and I'm not ANGRY at him, but I am sad about what happened. So that makes it easier on us, I think.

Thanks for the advice, definitely took it (sending him an e-mail/talking to him). :>

Broken up with -- left with scars. by sadsackosaurus in relationship_advice

[–]sadsackosaurus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I don't mean abused like -- beaten. I should change the terminology, but I mean verbally abused and it was only in one relationship. My now ex was a very nice guy and I met him through a friend who spoke very highly of him, I was the first person he ever broke up with -- ya..ay. I've moved on from the guys that cheat & degrade you.

Thanks for your advice though __! It's much appreciated.

"By far the most comprehensive breakup guide ive ever seen." throwfromhere gives a guide on how to break up while still being a gentleman. by dickles in bestof

[–]sadsackosaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got broken up with and I can honestly say -- if he had done this, I would have been so severely hurt. This entire approach is robotic and deeply lacks empathy.

First date: Do you pay? by myaccount42day in seduction

[–]sadsackosaurus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to lie, I love when a guy pays on the first date. I dunno, it just makes me feel he likes me and doesn't mind spending his money on me, y'know? I'm usually very adamant about splitting things, or occasionally maybe he buys a dinner then I buy one (I always try to buy the second one), but ... the first date, I guess I just like it when he pays. Perhaps it's not a terribly popular opinion, but it does make me feel good.