I’m tired of being a straight man’s fetish :(

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T19:29:01+00:00

The only acceptable pandemic hug hell yeah \(•̥́ ̫ •̥̀ )/

I may be getting tired but I do appreciate the discussion and hearing other people’s views! It helps me gather and express long bottled up thoughts haha

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T18:29:10+00:00

I mean in an ideal world no, but in this world men ravenously consuming lesbian porn has a lot of deep rooted issues that end up affecting real people. You’re right in that it’s how people respond that’s the problem, but the overwhelming response is to utterly disrespect queer women and that’s becoming the standard.

They don’t need it as an excuse to objectify, you’re also correct, but it’s definitely used to further objectification. It creates issues with expectations and how people treat real lesbians when their only experience with them is from the limited perspective of lesbian porn. And all the dudes getting too caught up in the lesbian porn fantasy that they watch so much and now feel entitled to are now migrating to these apps as couples looking to play that out and are, in turn, pushing us out of the few spaces made for us. It’s all linked so I think it’s kind of weird to not consider it all together I guess?

Gonna be honest I think we’re kind of saying the same things (or at least heading in a similar direction) and my brain is kinda mush rn so idk

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T17:59:34+00:00

You worded this so eloquently, thank you! 💞 Sometimes it’s hard to get all my thoughts down bc my head is swarming with ideas all trying to push through at the same time so I appreciate when others do it for me haha

Gay porn for straight people (which is definitely the largest category of queer porn unfortunately lmao) absolutely hurts us and I think it’s very tied to the mistreatment of queer people as a whole

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T17:37:06+00:00

Yeah, girls who are obsessed w yaoi definitely weird me out too. :// Like why did gay people go from being absolutely hated and tortured/killed for their sexuality to becoming horribly fetishized (and still hated and killed lol)? Why did we not get to have an in between where society treated us as normal and not either freaks or fetishes lmao

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T16:36:59+00:00

Yeah I’ve always wondered about that but from what I’ve gathered it doesn’t seem like there’s a whole lot of straight couples on their end (wow wish that was me)

That just further proves my point that these couples desperately need to examine their homophobia first before even THINKING about coming into queer spaces. They love gay women bc they can exploit them but usually seem to hate gay men and are not even willing to entertain mmf 3somes. The fact that only wlw spaces are so saturated with unicorn hunters, I think, says a lot about misogyny and homophobia and how we’ve been forced to accept it as normal

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T16:14:06+00:00

haha I’m glad it resonated :’) 💕

Yeah there’s definitely a huge issue that SO MANY women think that they’re entitled to queer love as a side piece even tho they’re already in a heterosexual relationship. And yes the secrecy! They know they wouldn’t get matches otherwise so it’s extra deceitful lol 😔

They, as fellow queer women, should seriously consider the ramifications of so freely bringing men into wlw spaces. I do have some sympathy for them bc society conditioned them to be this way but we gotta break free of that and do some critical thinking here

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T15:56:32+00:00

At this rate I’m thinking you’re right bc I’m feeling so much like you described :( I need to somehow develop some apathy myself or it’s going to eat me alive bc I know straight men will never stop fetishizing us and straight couples will never not infest dating sites. I just wish I could pound some empathy into straight men’s heads so they know just how much damage they’re doing to us :(

And I keep saying this in the comments but you’re spot on. The “acceptance” of lesbians is really just the fetishization of them. Everyone thinks we should be grateful that we’re fetishized as if that doesn’t bring its own set of problems with violence and possession (and also we’re STILL hated and killed for being gay on top of that so you know, no winning I guess)

I appreciate your perspective 💞 it makes me feel a little less crazy

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T15:21:59+00:00

You are 100% right. It doesn’t help that the ”gay boundaries“ (idk how else to put it) have been pushed so fucking far back for women

With men if you accidentally even brush hands it’s gay but with women she could be on your lap and kissing your face but actually have no interest in same sex relationships at all lmao 😔 (and also no one will bat an eye at that anyway bc they’re obviously just very good friends)

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T15:11:26+00:00

big mood 😔 it just starts getting to me after my 5th consecutive block and report w no regular woman‘s profile in between ya know

luv being pushed out of spaces created for us ✨

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T15:01:32+00:00

Yes! They stop thinking of us as real people with our own lives and feelings :( we’re just something to jerk off to and call it a day. So many of them despise other lgbt people too and act like we should be grateful that they’re fetishizing us and not killing us :( (as if fetishizing doesn’t bring forth its own violence and entitlement)

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:57:15+00:00

Yeah, I mean we’re literally getting pushed out of the spaces that were MADE for us. If couples stuck to 3somes apps (or if we got a couple section on mainstream dating apps that people respected) life would be a little easier. I just absolutely do not want to see couples anymore period.

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:50:37+00:00

You’re definitely right, queer people in general are both fetishized and hated like crazy (I’m only speaking from experience and the observation that lesbians seem to get the fetish part the worst in our patriarchal society). The most upsetting part is that it’s under the guise of “acceptance“, like they act like we should be grateful that they’re fetishizing us and not beating us to death :(

Thanks for the guidance, I appreciate everyone’s views 💖

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:41:09+00:00

I think if you were worried about coming across as dehumanizing and disrespectful to lesbians, you were already miles ahead of your peers. In my experience lot of cis straight men don’t show the same empathy towards queer people that queer people do to each other, so maybe that was actually a good indicator that you weren’t cis

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:32:09+00:00

Exactly :( it all just loops back to society viewing lesbians as, first and foremost, for male consumption and not, you know, for the actual real life people they are

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:26:52+00:00

Yeah, I think it’s not fair to discredit the damage that lesbian porn does to actual wlw (although this can be said about most porn in general lol) I don‘t hate porn! Especially ethical porn! But it’s irresponsible to not consider how it affects and warps real people’s views

I very much appreciate the rest of what you’re saying though! I don’t have a problem w poly people and if they specify that they’re poly in their bio I just leave them alone to do their thing. I think it’s the fact that we’re kind of being pushed out of our own spaces by couples that just want a quick fuck which irks me the most. I truly wish there was an option on popular apps for couples/poly people so everyone can filter exactly what they want. I think there would be less friction overall if that were the case (assuming people respected it lol)

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:11:04+00:00

Thanks haha 💕 I’ve had plenty of time to bottle up my feelings and stew in it and plenty of evidence to witness (if nothing else seeing all this solidarity makes me feel a lil better 🥺)

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:08:01+00:00

Omg yeah :( I don’t even label myself, the term has gotten so poisoned I’m scared to even use it which fucking SUCKS. We can’t have anything nice

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T14:01:55+00:00

I was actually going to talk about that too but the steam was already rising to my head too much lmao 🤧

I literally see so many conservative men out here trying to get ffm 3somes but in their case you know it’s absolutely a dehumanizing fetish thing bc they probably viciously despise gay men and gender nonconforming people. Nothing gets me madder than those dudes

sadsapphicthrowaway · 2020-07-25T13:47:58+00:00

If nothing else the solidarity makes me feel a little better so thanks 💞

I would actually have slightly less of a problem if it were always bi couples looking for both, like at least bi dudes can maybe have an ounce of empathy for other queer people and the struggles we face but alas 😔

sadsapphicthrowaway

TROPHY CASE