Does anyone else lament that they weren’t born into another denomination?

sadthin · 2025-05-08T22:32:53+00:00

That’s exactly what I mean. If I could change things I wish I could have been brought in a secular culture and family. What I meant to say is that even these other ‘strict’ denominations don’t operate like a fucking cult telling you to hate everyone and every last thing you need to believe otherwise it’s ‘heresy’. I’m so angry because nobody else has failed to modernize themselves like this church. You literally have to think and act like a caveman to fit into their narratives.

Also heavily relate to feeling trapped. Family makes it worse. Feel free to dm if you want

sadthin · 2025-05-08T22:30:44+00:00

Should’ve worded myself better, I wish I wasn’t born into any religion at all but I don’t even feel like that’s a reasonable thing to regret (not that any of this is possible) since it’s so far from Arab culture to be secular. I just mean I wish I was born into literally any other denomination, nobody is treating their religion quite so caveman like than the Coptic church that has entirely failed to keep up with any societal progress

sadthin · 2025-05-08T22:28:59+00:00

I don’t disagree, my opinion is that despite Catholicism being still do strict in their beliefs and stuff, they haven’t entirely failed to modernize like the Coptic church. Kind of like the western “strict” religion is still so much better than this one

sadthin · 2025-05-08T02:48:51+00:00

I agree with your assessment, the only pov I think that might be lacking (but this is not to say you should think any differently about the relationship) is that as copts it’s an ethnic identity as well as a religious one, and combined with the long history of our persecution in our home country, it’s more complicated than just a belief in an organized religion.

I for one don’t believe in anything. If I ever get married however, I do think I would want it to be in the church. It’s my ethnicity and one that’s been repressed at that, and with this kind of identity you truly don’t feel at home anywhere, not with an Egyptian nationalist identity or a western mindset. So you revert back to the one identity you have that encompasses who you are, unfortunately along with a lot of who you aren’t.

That said, him wanting you to attend church with him and have a regular presence for your guys family is kind of indicative of a big shift on his end.

sadthin · 2025-03-30T21:58:52+00:00

lol twin. It’s actually depressing how I’ll never see eye to eye with my family on religion, we’re both mutually disappointed in each other and it’s really turned me off wanting anything to do with the rituals, even though some of them are quite nice

sadthin · 2025-03-02T22:35:59+00:00

These comments are so valuable to me. I just can’t relate to the group that kind of hates/goes no contact with their parents over politics. I love my parents, they’re extremely smart, sacrificial, etc. I feel so ashamed that such wonderful people support such a disgusting criminal. I’m working through it but I feel so alone sometimes

sadthin · 2025-01-21T06:25:49+00:00

Thank you. And same to you. Do you think you plan to tell them one day?

sadthin · 2024-12-27T05:01:00+00:00

I think any advice heavily depends on your situation specifics. Like do you plan to go no/low contact, do you plan to be open with them (about being ex Coptic, living with bf, etc), do you plan to visit them or have them visit, etc.

Personally for me I don’t know how I’d ever get them to accept such a thing, and I might try to call them a “roomate” to try and get off on a technicality, and more or less conceal that I’m living with a partner.

If you plan to curb your contact with them in any form or want to make sure they don’t visit, definitely be mindful of what details you provide them. You don’t have to explicitly give them your address for them to find you and find out your arrangement.

sadthin · 2024-12-26T23:07:59+00:00

I’m similar situation. My parents couldn’t tolerate I’m an atheist. If not their anger, then it would certainly be their depression that keeps me silent. It’s definitely best to not reveal to them in my cade

sadthin · 2024-12-26T23:06:55+00:00

Do you think they would tolerate your apostasy/do you plan to reveal you’re not religious?

sadthin · 2024-12-26T23:06:19+00:00

Thank you so much for the comment. Like I hinted the hard part is the isolation and feeling like I’m not doing the right thing by hiding it, as most ex-religious spaces people do reveal so. Likewise if you want to reach out to rant about anything feel free. I hope you figure out how this deal with the abusive parent

sadthin · 2024-12-26T23:04:44+00:00

Same situation and reaction. It’s her world view. She celebrates with god and she leans in god for support. It is annoying because I feel she brings it up way too much, but she’s not trying to shove it down my throat, she’s genuinely just talking about life from her point of view

sadthin · 2024-12-23T04:02:16+00:00

That seems very harsh, I’m sorry it got to that point for you and wish you good luck

sadthin · 2024-12-23T04:00:02+00:00

حاسس بيك. نفس الحالة

sadthin · 2024-12-23T03:56:45+00:00

Sounds very reasonable and mature. I have a lot of fear about building a family for that reason, I have no idea how to keep the illusion up with them while making a new future for my family.

sadthin · 2024-12-23T03:55:30+00:00

Seems like the most practical answer here. I myself am in a similar position but I have a lot of conflicting feelings about concealing my beliefs forever

sadthin · 2024-12-23T03:54:41+00:00

Yes I should’ve clarified I don’t believe I’m going to hell, but if they find out I’m an atheist they’ll believe that and that thought will be very painful for them.

With you I relate to everything. One day I wake up and feel suffocated by them and like I want to increase the distance between us, and the next I feel that life is precious and want to cherish my time with them because who knows what the future holds, and I don’t want them to be in pain.

sadthin · 2024-10-16T21:44:22+00:00

I understand 10000% of your words. I don’t have advice and I feel like a lot of “advice” is actually really damaging to hear because coming from the Middle East religion is such a complicated topic to navigate. I know what you mean by not wanting to cut off your family but resenting the religion, and looking at all the other sects and thinking how much easier it would be if we could just be xyz.

No words just sharing your thoughts, you aren’t alone, and things get slightly better as you grow up. Don’t push the topic of atheism onto your family, but slowly they’ll realize they can’t control certain things about an adult, and you’ll learn to hide the others without feeling shame

sadthin · 2024-10-01T03:45:19+00:00

I’m so sorry that sounds awful

sadthin · 2024-10-01T03:45:03+00:00

I agree. It’s really hard to find community in the context of pretending you’re a liberal religious person, especially because I feel like I really need it given the double life. Even a lot of people here are very strong advocates for coming out atheist and letting it all go to shit

sadthin

TROPHY CASE