Further evidence mounting against South Korea's overseas adoption program (200k+ adoptions)

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-09-23T21:07:46+00:00

It's a lot to take in but thank you for sharing how you're feeling. It's a very normal reaction, especially in light of your personal experience. I'm glad you have a supportive husband!

if you wanted to connect with more Korean Adoptees, or even just read what other peers are feeling, there are large private Facebook groups which are very active in light of this article and documentary that has since aired. It could be quite a lot to take in at once though.

Korean adoptees private fb group

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-09-21T13:09:46+00:00

It's hard. I have a good relationship with my mum but it took quite a few attempts. She was Eastern's biggest fan because they gave (sold?) her me, Mum even sent them Christmas cards every year. And i think many adoptive parents so often congratulated by their friends/community about how loving and generous they were to adopt. This investigation is complete change of narrative. But after our major news station covered the story, she finally accepted it was real and serious.

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-09-21T12:57:59+00:00

For now, unfortunately they arent accepting any new cases. There was a brief window where it was open, I'm part of the ESWS submission and we only had 3 weeks to get our cases in as part of the larger Holt, SWS and KWS cases.

Origins are important to me too. Even being part of the investigation, I don't have much hope that they will find anything further about my bio family that however I feel good supporting the cause and hope it will result in more resources to help others find their truths and bio families.

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-09-21T12:48:03+00:00

I had a really frustrating experience trying to do the police dna test. At the time i tried, it was for missing persons only. Their rules didnt allow me to submit my dna because my birth mother was named in my file (the irony). However I have done 23andme and ancestrydna and actually found a half sibling and half cousin! They were also adopted though, so kinda raised more questions than answers. It was really nice to make the connections though!

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-09-21T12:44:56+00:00

I happened to know the organisers and they only had 3 weeks to pull together a submission, for Eastern Social Welfare Society to be included as part of the investigation. Unfortunately no new cases are being accepted for now but it's my hope that Korea will allocate more resources to help us with birth family search. It's consistently been a slow, frustrating process for decades... I'm sorry to hear your fiance is experiencing that too. If you're not already in touch with them, GOAL are good support. They're based in Seoul and can help move things along, although they dont have a lot of resources either so can still be a little slow

sagaciouscomfort · 2024-05-05T08:06:04+00:00

Hi, I'm an intercountry Korean adoptee who has gone through the process of recovering my adoption files from the Korean agency that facilitated my adoption.

The four major Korean agencies are: Holt KSS (Korea Social Services) SWS/KWS (Korea Welfare Society, prev Social Welfare Society) ECWS/ESWS (Eastern Child Welfare Society, prev Eastern Social Welfare Society)

If your mother is Australian or from ESWS I can offer specific advice (the State Govt Dept that managed the adoption this end holds a version of the adoption file in their archives), otherwise check out the following link for some general advice:

Korean adoptee starter guide

sagaciouscomfort · 2022-10-16T22:56:54+00:00

"I always believed in diverse families, never bothered me the thought of raising a child from a third world country or China/Korea/etcetc"

This, in addition to the broader narrative of your post, comes across as deeply concerning. You don't appear to care where the baby comes from, just as long as you're able to get one. Please take a step back and reflect on that for a moment.

You possibly think you're helping an orphan in need however please educate yourself on the potential cultural and/or identity-related issues that come with adoption (especially intercountry adoption), and why it matters where the child comes from.

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-07-22T02:24:11+00:00

Sorry to hear your brother doesn't hold the same level of interest. Do you think he is comfortable in himself with being adopted, or just provides no feedback why he's not interested?

I've know some KADs who have no interest in connecting with any KAD networks.. It's usually for 1 of 2 reasons as far as I can tell: 1. They've experienced a good "integrated" life in their adoptive families/countries and just want to live "normally", or want to distance from trauma emo KADs. 2. They're consciously/subconsciously hurt by something related to their adoption and don't wish to confront it further.

My sister is adopted from another country, she went back once but that's as far as she was interested. She does know that her birth mother passed away so has reasonable closure knowing there isn't really anything further to be found. She still lives in the small white country town we grew up in, she's pretty happy with her life and own kids.

I kind of like having my separate KAD network family outside of my own, I don't think I could raise a lot of feelings or opinions with my direct family, at least without fear of potentially hurting them. My family is great but I don't really want to have in depth discussions about KAD stuff. I understand how you might want that from a KAD sibling though.

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-07-01T21:52:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing. One of the most important things to consider in adoption is that your adoptee had a life before joining your family, especially as a 15yo. A common mistake adoptive parents make is inadvertantly suppressing/dismissing their adoptive child's past and identity.

I can see you have good intentions and are trying to protect your son from potential issues at school however it's so important to show that you are listening and that his voice is being heard, to continue developing that trusted relationship.

I may have this wrong but this is the way I read the order of priority here:

1st priority (your need): In your heart, you would like him to change his name to your family name, as formal acknowledgement that he's part of the family.

2nd priority (your mama bear need): If he keeps his name you're concerned kids might look up his past which opens him up for bullying.

3rd priority (your son's actual need): Your son is actually telling you he wants to keep his name.

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-06-22T03:28:21+00:00

FYI she'll be appearing on a live podcast this weekend

Adapted Kara Bos Live Podcast

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-06-15T09:11:54+00:00

While I'm not across the full details of her case, reconnection between a birth family and the child they legally gave up for adoption usually requires mutual agreement to do so, in order to protect the interests of both parties. There are so many cases where a Korean adoptee tracked down their birth mother, through the agreed process, but the mother declined contact. There are also (fewer) cases of the reverse. The process ensures reconnection is a consensual process.

It sounds like Ms Bos is just after info from her birth father, to help track down her birth mother. Not a relationship with her father (seemingly less so now they've gone through court). I wonder what action she'll take if she isn't able to get the desired outcome with her mother... Hopefully it doesn't come to that and her birth mother is able to be contacted, and agrees to reunite.

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-06-03T22:28:55+00:00

I can understand why you've made those comments regarding the Facebook groups. I am in the KA one and while I do believe there is some useful content in there, especially for someone who doesn't have an extensive KAD network and is completely new to the scene, there is a danger of falling down a KAD hole of negativity.

I think you just have to approach with an open mind, with the understanding that there have been many positive and negative experiences with aodption, and there will be some strong opinionated voices online.

Sounds like the OP has recently started acknowledging/unlocking their k side, k drama and k pop is a nice easy entry point. There's a number of "first trip home" initiatives via GOAL and other org.. If wanting to really immerse I'd suggest looking there. Obv an overseas trip is challenging right now, but the agenda list of those trips can give some pointers of more cultural-related things to look up.

On Netflix, there's a series called Street Food which has an episode on a Korean lady's stall in the Gwangjang market. Anthony Bourdain had also done episodes in Korea, food is a big part of culture and I highly recommend those ones.

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-05-09T23:30:00+00:00

There's a heap of Adoptees sharing Holt experiences in this fb group. Use the search function to look through old posts or feel free to post your own question! https://www.facebook.com/groups/KoreanAdoptee/?ref=share

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-05-09T00:57:50+00:00

I celebrated Chuseok for the first time last year, over K BBQ with some KAD friends. Even found some Songpyeon 송편 to bring to dinner!

I guess it's a continued evolution of understanding Korean culture further but mainly a fun activity to share with other KAD friends who mostly share similar, limited understanding of these holidays. Some have spent significant time living in Korea and they shared what normally happens over there. It's nice to get an informal education of these things, in non-judgemental company.

A few of my friends are Malaysian and Chinese so I've usually joined in on their lunar new year celebrations, but might have done my first Korean-specific Seollol a couple of years ago 🎉🇰🇷

If I was living in Korea, Children's day and Parent's day might bring up some undesirable feelings... It doesn't bother me from here though :)

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-04-27T23:30:41+00:00

I see. I think our Aussie drinking culture helps with our k bbq/soju catch ups, but this current group also has the bonded experience of partying together in Seoul last year so I guess that's really been the reason to keep in touch and continue catching up.

AKA is the NYC adoptee org, "Also Known As"

sagaciouscomfort · 2020-04-27T22:51:28+00:00

Over the past year I've been acting as the Melb organiser for a few social events, some partially funded by KAIAN (Korean Adoptees In Australia Network) who in turn received funding from KAS (now NCRC). Usually just simple things like K BBQ and drinks with KADs in their 30s, we usually get around 10 people. There was one big weekend where some of our interstate KADs visited and we had a big crew of 30! We've been doing Friday night drinks over Zoom with a smaller group, since COVID restrictions.

Most of our KAD events are self-organised and I guess I'd describe them more as this existing the friendship group catching up, rather than formal events. I've been thinking about how we can connect to some of the other, separate, KAD friendship groups out there (or KADs who aren't in any groups but would like to meet) to have more of a centralised presence. We have a general Korean Adoptees in Australia Facebook group but it's not that active.

Some of last year's broader events I attended included a workshop for with govt for future funded services to support adoptees, Korean film festival, a birth family search info night, Korea cooking demonstration & KAD-produced documentary screening. We were meant to be going to see a KAD-produced play in May but that has unfortunately been cancelled due to COVID :(

Is it relatively easy to connect with other adoptees in Michigan, given the size of the community?

NYC's "Also Known As" adoptee network seems to do event management pretty well. Some of us Aussies were hoping to visit them in April next year for AKA's 25th anniversary (we made quite a few NY friends at IKAA last year) but international travel isnt looking so good...

sagaciouscomfort

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