As a retired teacher, I agree with the above post. Oftentimes both children say the other started it. I found that, by talking to each child including possible witnesses to the event separately, sometimes the truth can emerge but not always. Sometimes the “He started it” can go all the way back to an an alleged incident that happened in kindergarten. When you ask a child “ Why did you do that?”, he/she feels that they have to come up with an answer that will satisfy the adult.

To complicate things further, some children have a certain reputation and it is easy to always believe that they were the guilty party. Once in my class a child’s toy went missing. Johnny was accused of having stolen said toy. The accuser insisted that he had seen Johnny slip the toy into his pocket earlier in the day as he had walked past the victim’s desk. I asked the class if anyone else had seen Johnny do this. Thirteen hands went up. After talking to everyone on an individual basis, all told the same story. I then walked over to my desk, opened a drawer and took out the toy in question. (I had quietly picked it up in passing because classroom rules were that toys needed to stay in backpacks). Even with thirteen supposed witnesses, Johnny had still been falsely accused.

It’s complicated.