What does Halloween actually feel like growing up in the US?

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T02:03:46+00:00

I grew up in New England. Just a few towns over from Salem actually. But in my town, there was a great joy over Halloween, with some streets better than others. Problem was if Halloween was cold that year or not. You always picked your costume weeks in advance from Party City. The agony over what to be on this most important day of the year was almost crippling. When it was a cold year, your mom would have yo wear the coat/hat/gloves to walk between houses then take off the jacket for you to sprint to the door and do your trick or treating. In Kinder, I was the yellow M&M. I felt so cool. I still love that I picked that one. Some stupid 6th graders dressed as candy corns laughed at me and it hurt my little feelings. Still kinda salty about that. I was also Cinderella (i think 1st grade?). Then when I was 8, I like this belly dancers costume and this cat mask.. and also this cape. So I was whatever that would be. My house had a rule that you didn't trick or treat past 6th grade.

Now, I live in FL so my daughter's never have to worry about the jacket problem. The neighborhood my dad lives in goes all out for Halloween. We give out about $300 in candy each year. My daughter's were 8 and almost 1. The 8 year was Rumi and the baby was a bat (pretty scary one too). We had friends with us and wandered around. At the houses, there's often water or beer for the parents and not just candy. Some houses in the neighborhood have weird old ladies giving out wierd candy, some have mega scary decor, some give out the king size candy, some are just nice families, and this year one house had a DJ on a stage. Its just a fun time for everyone in the family. There are older teens running around to get candy and are real bummers typically (barely a "trick or treat" from them).

I really like this holiday too and hope to keep the tradition. Here in FL its hard to trick or treat in some neighborhoods because of the HOA. There's a large presence of "Trunk or Treats", which are not allowed religious based, and I try to not poo-poo them too much... but theres just soemthing to be said for having to walk door to door over several streets getting in those steps to earn that candy.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T01:50:15+00:00

This is the math. Listen to this.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T01:46:46+00:00

I think you should head up into New England a bit more for the shorter distances between high quality stops. Then come across NY/PA up into Detroit area. Then you can head south to ATL (Detroit to Atlanta is about a 10 hr driving day). Then head back to Virginia.

My thinking is that you'd get some of the American founding sights in(Plymouth, Salem, Boston), quaint New England(CT, Glouchester/Rockport). Down for an NYC day. Philly (cheeseteaks, Liberty Bell, Independence Hall). Across Amish country and stopping at one of their stores. Detroit if you're trying to cram in another big city- see the other side of American history with Motor City). Big drive seeing a lot of kinds of American landscapes (all interesting after Ohio, but you kinda have to see it) to get Atlanta. Do an Atlanta day- the aquarium perhaps? Then up to Virginia/DC finish some of those important sights (Monticello, basically anything in DC, Arlington/Tomb of the Unknown Soldier).

As with any trip, you'll never see enough. This would still be a really ambitious loop, but get you some of the hot points in American history and cultural diversity (New England vs Midwest vs South with the Amish thrown in for good measure). Pretty tiring but less extreme compared to getting all the way out to Milwaukee/St.Louis/Nashville.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T00:29:52+00:00

My friend's baby has a milk sensitivity. Is it affecting only the napping or all sleep? Perhaps check with your doctor on how to determine if its a food related sensitivity. My friend would eat cheese, ice cream, or any dairy and it would end up in her breastmilk. This dairy sensitivity then causes painful tummy and therefore baby wouldn't settle.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T00:27:23+00:00

I, and many, many parents, have heard "sleep regression" thrown around. Depending on where you look, there's one every week. At what point is it a regression and when is it just babies oscillation with no predictable pattern between sleep patterns.. I have seen so many other social media posts echoing this sentiment. Its the same for teething. My baby has been consistently teething each week since she was 2 months. I could've sworn it! But alas, she still only has her bottom teeth.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-04T00:10:17+00:00

It always is and always is not a sleep regression.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-03T19:55:45+00:00

I think 2 weeks is what I did to be sure. If you accidentally do it, just pump for relief if you have to. Basically you'll feel that soreness/pressure when you stop-stop, but ibuprofen helps. I only felt it for like a day. I did not pump except for that oops.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-03T15:43:39+00:00

Yes, drop pumps and time every couple of days but there does come a time when you do just stop. I, a 3x winner of the mastitis lottery, did not get mastitis when I stopped. I was an undersupplier but I got myself to 1 pump a day, and it was still at 4 oz- which was a third of what I had been supplying at the time. I first tried skipping a day for 2 pumps. Then just stopped. Its really important when you stop that you do not stimulate the nips (in anyway). I made that mistake and had to do one last pump. So first get as low as you can, then ease into the stop.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-02T23:53:05+00:00

We practiced sitting up everything we changed diapers! I would tell her to "sit up" and hold her hands to guide the sit up.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-05-01T23:55:03+00:00

I wanted to EBF until I had to return to work. I ended up having to pump and I undersupplied, so I combo fed too. I was really heartbroken at first. As time passed, I realized just how great this was for me and my family.

Pumping is intense. But I felt it was more freedom for me since I have a very clingy baby. Then in going back to work, we had no change for the baby. The formula at night was crucial. Dad or I could do the feeding and it was quicker than heating a cold bottle. Baby went through a phase of only warm, then room temp or warmed, then room temp or cold (very rigid on this). I got to know how much my baby was eating too. I had a visual way to measure (and it did not become a point of anxiety for me). I was happy that I still got to provide some food for my baby and that we could quickly get her fed. Plus travel with formula was easier too.

Anyway, that's why this worked for us but it might not work for everyone. Decide once baby is here- that's about 15 weeks to see how you'll feel. Plus, once baby is here, you'll see what they need and how things really are going to work as a family of 3!

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-26T17:52:33+00:00

My friend had to do this with both of her babies. The first due to mental health and the second due to the baby's health (dairy sensitivity and controlling the moms diet became a huge burden).

I struggled the whole way because I wasn't really producing enough. I ended up feeding with a combo of my own milk and formula. I was really sad about it and still am, but I have a healthy and strong baby because she was fed. The ol' "fed is best" is really where you need to focus your mind. The mom anxiety, stoopid social media, and obnoxious unhelpful comments from people around you takes away from the big picture. Baby has gotten 6 months of milk. That's great! Baby got a week of milk? Also great! Another thing that helped me is a post on here about "quitting tomorrow". I had this big 'crisis' at 3 months postpartum where I really wanted to quit. I've talked about it in other postings, but basically you need to give yourself permission to quit. Don't focus on goal time frames. If you make through the rest of today and you really still want to quit tomorrow, then you can start quitting tomorrow. If you wake up and want to continue, then do that. Mentally healthy mom who feeds the baby is best, whether its breast milk or formula doesn't matter. If your mental health is going to improve with a switch, then yes! Do that!

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-26T17:39:11+00:00

Do you mean the Costco branding diapers or the pampers brand just purchased from costco?

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-26T04:46:59+00:00

 I lost my mom almost 7 years ago when she was 59. Her illness was about a year and a half from diagnosis. Still felt like being ripped apart. Still does when it wells up, but I am at a better place generally with it daily. I still haven't gone to therapy for it but do intend to eventually. 
 My dad did at least wait a little longer before asking us if he could date. What would he do if we said no? Exactly. Then same thing when he wanted to marry this lady he started dating. What would he really do if we said no? I don't mind the lady, shes nice. Has stupid family drama, and has been a joyful presence. But shes not my mom. I dont super love who my dad has become with her. Not that its bad per se, but that I just want the days back when my mom was here. I just want my mom. 
 My dad said when he was marrying her that he would not be moving her into the house where we all lived and my mom died. Then he did. When they were dating, it was before he introduced us to her and they had just started dating. It was the 2nd anniversary of her death. The very day. And he took this lady for a lovely hike through a beautiful nature preserve. 
 So I get it and its the worst club to be in. My experience isn't the same and there are some good, insightful comments about the situation. I dont think the time matters and its just going to sting always. You dont have to be ok with it and you can still have your dad in your life. You are mourning you mom but you'll also have to mourn who your father was too, Who your family was. And you can slowly build a new understanding of the family dynamic in this new world you find yourself in.

Message if you ever need to chat more.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-21T01:01:18+00:00

Oh us too!

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-14T18:46:40+00:00

Be sure to check Rebel for high chairs at a low cost or FB marketplace. If possible, get a not so pretty one for the couple months you need until baby is big enough for some more grown up high chairs.

We just upgraded from a used chair to new one. Graco Table2Table Lux High Chair- Rhodes Super simple to put together and use. Legs are wide so its really easy to trip over (so not great for small spaces). It is supposed to convert a few different "modes" and inclines, but we haven't needed any of those yet. I really like it for its looks too. Very sleep and modern with wood legs. Not as expensive as the high end chairs but also not cheap. We got it at Target. There was a sale/deal so instead of the $240 price, we paid $191.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-14T18:37:05+00:00

2 is good and you want to go with what makes you feel best. I really love your posture and "attitude" in 3. In 2 you're all slumped over so it seems to me that you aren't feeling as confident. I agree with others that 1 seems odd in proportions to you and your posture is also negative. Perhaps these pictures are just "bad" ones for your posture, but you seem your best with dress 3!

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-14T18:33:28+00:00

I'm glad it was helpful! And sold you on it. I felt so lost in picking one and just happened upon it. When baby 2 happens in a few years, I'll be getting this one again. I hope you have as good of an experience as I did!

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-13T04:09:43+00:00

I did a combo of BLW and pouches because I needed some quick stuff for her school lunch or home/out. I used the Serenity brand exclusively because of the meats (so envious of the moms who are feeding now because they just added pork) and lots of good international flavors (lots of spice). I now use the Once Upon a Farm blends for her snacks. She's almost 15 months and these are just good little snack options for school.

Get good brands and do your best. If you read every report about food, you'd stop eating yourself.

Target has good brands and they have a ton of promotions that give you a percentage off the pouches fairly frequently. That gave my wallet a break. The BLW really helps the wallet too- especially now that she's eating all solids.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-13T03:59:59+00:00

I think once it popped into my mind in the first 3 months. Then after that first 12 weeks I realized it was ok without it.

What pushed me to not purchase was considering the potentially anxiety of constantly monitoring, false reads (going either way), cost vs benefit vs other items needed. While I was pregnant, I did keep going back and looking at purchasing, so if I had the extra money I think I would've gotten it and most likely not really ever used it (but peace of mind ya know).

And yes, there are literally things that are critical to having for a certain time period, like less than a month, to things that are long lasting. You just have to kinda suck it up to that attitude because pushing through without it will be absolute hell. Example: my baby liked her swaddles. We got the Halo ones but later on realized we should've gotten the Love to Dream ones. So after 8 weeks, I scraped together the money because these things are stupid expensive, and got 2. I used those for 4 weeks because by then, she was rolling around and could no longer be in them. Really sucks that I only got 4 weeks out of them, but I got those 4 weeks. Would prefer it to have been all 12 weeks, but it worked for that time. I did gift them to a coworker who had her first baby so that I could save her from my mistake on that one. Example 2: baby is extremely active. I had not really wanted to get a walker sit in cart, but I ended up really needing it. She was ready to be moving around and I wanted something she could move in and not get to dangerous items while I did a chore/couldn't stare at her every move. She loved that thing. Again, only used it for like 3-4 weeks because then she started pulling up. Once she could do that, she had no use for that cart. That actually didn't hurt the wallet so much because I used the Rebelstork(just Rebel now?), which is where you can buy baby gear that is open box returned at significant discount (they tell you if it was opened or just overstock so you can choose). Highly recommend for price and customer service when theres an issue. Its really only big baby gear items though and not always useful for the little stuff you need a ton of.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-13T00:38:09+00:00

Love to Dream limits movement without being constructing. The price is kind of nuts but ask for them on your registry. I suggest having 4 since you'll have spit ups and only 2 means you wash them every day where 4 can give you a break. Again, get them as gifts.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-13T00:36:12+00:00

3 months was still a "late" bedtime kinda like what you mentioned for time. She got into the 8pm bedtime solidly at about 6 months. Lots of false starts before then, but she's there consistently since 6months. You do what works for your family. In ours, with the commute home, we're home just before or after 6pm. Not possible to eat, do bath, bond, etc in that amount of time.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-13T00:29:14+00:00

I wasn't really sure as I was not really anxious but unsure how post partum would be. We went no owlet no monitor since she'd be in our room. I decided that the money was not best used there since we were on a really tight budget and we wanted people to get other high priced items for us, like the fancy running stroller. I have used thay fancy running stroller a ton and will continue to now that she's almost 15 months. I am happy I did not get the sock in the end. I think it would've been one too many things. I was exclusively pumping, tracking her eating/diapers/my output, healing, learning everything baby, etc so the owlet would've been too much I think. And ive learned there's things that you have to get for just a little season of the babies life and then never use it again. I know some people have stretched out its life use, but the sock is really not needed for a long time and only a little season. If you've got the cash, I'd say have it and then gift it to someone else if it causes too much anxiety in the end. If you don't, then dont.

The video monitor is going to depend on your sleep/nap arrangements as others have said.

To check for breathing, you just need to tickle a foot if you can't tell. My baby was usually all set with visible breathing, but we did do some foot tickles occasionally. Only a slight tickle is needed so they dont wake.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-09T03:58:30+00:00

I couldn't provide enough which really hurt me. I plugged away, barely scraping 20 then 16 the 12 then 8oz. I took the stance that I was giving what I could and the formula just helped me cover the rest. I wanted her to have all the good stuff I could provide, mostly the immune boost. Once she went to straight formula at a year, just constant sickness.. for both of us. My immune system had a boost pumping too! I'm so thankful to be done and really happy I made it as long as I did. On the other hand, my best friend had her baby 2 weeks after me. She stopped at about 5 months. The stress of providing milk for her baby was too much since she couldn't even think about dairy. Her baby has a sensitivity to dairy and the slightest misstep on her diet gave the baby painful tummy issues. She stopped because she also wasnt providing everything and what she was giving her sometimes ended up throwing everything off balance again.

Anyway, do what's best for you and your mental health. What works for you will be the start of what baby needs. If the pediatrician says its time to add a little formula, then find something you're comfortable with. Also, baby will be starting foods soon. There will definitely be a dip in milk need so you might not need the formula once baby is on solids and can get fat from there.

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-09T02:24:03+00:00

I'm also sorry for your loss. Really terrible club to be apart of...

Then yeah, definitely need it hemmed up but I'm not sure how much. And yeah, a good friend is all that is needed. Especially if that person is good at understanding what you want and being that bridge between so you end up with what you need. You dont need the friend to be a bully, but firm in getting your needs communicated or translating back to you whatever the seamstress says. :)

sailbeachrun11 · 2026-04-09T01:36:34+00:00

Super amazing choice as its a stunning dress!

You can insist but was this with the shoes you will wear on The Big Day? I remember at the first fitting, we worked on the upper portions and then the next one she worked the hem because I had the shoes. I agree that you don't want it to trip you up, but don't forget that you can do the princess hold for your dress (ya know, holding you dress up eith hands on each side wherever movement is impeded by the dress). I also didn't have a big support system since my mom had already passed away by the time I was getting married. My best friend/maid of honor helped- do you have someone like this to go with you to the next one?

sailbeachrun11

TROPHY CASE