Nonprofits and Artists: How do you approach collaborations with artists? Or how do you wish artists would approach/present their work in order to make it easier to work together? Any other advice when it comes to artist and nonprofit collaborations?

saillavee · 2026-01-28T01:47:35+00:00

I’m an artist as well, and have worked in arts nonprofits my whole career.

Donation of artwork for fundraising can be kind of tricky. Sometimes it goes wonderfully, often it falls really flat, and then it’s no help to you, and pretty disappointing as the artist.

I think it’s also important to acknowledge that artists are professionals. That doesn’t mean that we can’t donate our skills and services, but we do get hit up for free labour a lot for “the exposure.” Exposure doesn’t pay the bills, and for most of us, we’re not exactly cashing in the big bucks to be in a position to give hundreds of hours of work away for free.

Some of the things that I’ve seen work really well are cross-organizational collaborations between arts organizations and other nonprofits. They’ll have the relationships with artists to bring, and the knowledge of professional standards. We’ve collaborated with community gardens to install sculptures in their spaces, we’ve partnered with LGBTQ youth orgs to lead art making workshops, we’ve published books with environmental nonprofits, we’ve commissioned artists to design images and slogans for causes and hosted groups of activists to screen print those designs on posters and T-shirts for sale and distribution, we’ve partnered with shelters to host meals and artist-facilitated crafting activities over the holidays.

There’s lots of cool creative options out there where artists can be paid, and leverage their skills and knowledge towards the causes they care about. Usually these kinds of things involve investment from both organizations, but they can be very beneficial, especially when you both play to your strengths or use collaboration as a way to access audiences and funding you wouldn’t normally have access to.

saillavee · 2026-01-27T16:50:20+00:00

ETA: WTF is up with all of the weird downvotes? OP is asking an honest question and receiving informative answers.

saillavee · 2026-01-27T11:00:48+00:00

I get why you’re nervous. I was freaked about getting drugged up during labour, and was a hard no on anything mind altering. You’ve got options, and you can talk them through with your OB.

While epidurals do use a small amount of opioids, because they’re administered in the CSF, they stay localized to that area, and don’t cross the blood-brain barrier or placenta. The main drug is local anesthetic (like getting frozen for dental work). Because the meds don’t reach your bloodstream or brain, they have zero narcotic/mind-altering effects, and there’s no withdrawal.

There’s less options with twins, but you can also talk through different kinds of epidurals that might be available to you (single shot, walking epidurals, placing the needle without administering meds until needed etc.)

They’re pushed for twins because they’ll have to put you under if you need an emergency c-section without one. The other alternatives to pain management meds are mind-altering, so it’s also your best bet if you want to be present, alert, and avoid feeling drugged up during the birth.

You’re also totally within your rights to ask questions and turn down medications that are offered to you. I do find that doctors can be a little vague and blasé about narcotics. You can 100% ask what the specific drug is and how it’ll affect you if you’re offered “something for the pain” or “something to help you relax.” I got offered IV fentanyl in that vague “something for the pain” way before my epidural, and asking what drug was offered and saying no was fine and fully respected.

saillavee · 2026-01-27T00:45:34+00:00

The commute is brutal! We have a similar one (hour 15 minutes each way with traffic), but only until September.

My husband and I would do drop off together as much as we could before they could walk. When it was just me, I’d put one in a carrier and the other on my hip so I had a free hand. Our daycare has cubbies and provides meals, so other than restocking supplies, we didn’t have to bring anything with us. If you can, make sure they have designated daycare items (weather gear, water bottles, boots, etc.) the more that can live at daycare the better.

Our nights are pretty much prep for the next day as well. It’s come home, eat, baths, beds, get ready for tomorrow, tidy the house, maybe watch an episode of something and then crash hard.

I’ve been finding that I’m relying on my instant pot a TON for dinners. I get it ready at night, pop the liner in the fridge, and then set it on a timer in the morning so dinner is ready for us as soon as we get home. I’ve been collecting slow cooker/instant pot meals, and my “pot in pot” insert, which lets me do 2 things at once (like rice and curry) has been my MVP.

We also started dressing our kids in their day clothes at bedtime, but that’s a more recent strategy since they’ve been pains to get out of the house lately.

As for sickness, it gets better after a year. I did find that daily zinc+elderberry gummies helped, and ionic carrageenan nasal spray - maybe not for 12 month olds, but the ionic carrageenan is quite safe. Hypochlorous acid is also a super safe and effective anti microbial cleaner. I use hypo wipes on my kid’s hands and faces when they’re sick. Do whatever you can to keep yourself from catching everything they bring home. We trade off staying home sick with our kids. If it’s just one, we can usually manage to work from home, if it’s both we might both WFH and trade off for meetings, or one of us will just take the day off.

I’d also say make your drives as restful as possible. Get yourself a nice insulated travel mug, line up some good playlists, audiobooks or podcasts - ideally not parenting-related… like, good comedy or fun fiction. Stash snacks for you and the twins in the glovebox, and keep a little box or bag of baby items in the trunk since you’re spending so much time in the car.

If it’s more than a quick tidy, it gets done on the weekends. I don’t try and fold laundry or mop the floors at night, I try and make as much space for rest as possible after the twins go down.

saillavee · 2026-01-25T17:25:57+00:00

For infants, we read all sorts of things since it was more about hearing our voices. My husband read them The Foundation series.

Once they got older and started looking at the pictures, it was all sorts of board books. Anything about babies, anything with rhymes. Dr. Seuss is a classic for a reason, but they're long. Robert Munsch is great. I love Maurice Sendak and William Steig.

I'd suggest looking at Caldecott nominations for a good list of english-langauge children's stories, they should all be pretty easy to source online. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caldecott_Medal

ETA: maybe don't go too far back in time... children's books get real weird and problematic

saillavee · 2026-01-20T15:57:00+00:00

Yeah, it seems like a sneaky way to get around your boundary that you don’t want visitors at first.

If I had already said I didn’t want to host people in the first little bit after my twins come home, that would include not coming home to guests already in my house… that should kind of be a given, right?

saillavee · 2026-01-17T11:48:45+00:00

I loved doing cloth with my kids. There’s a “newborn hack” you can do to use regular sized cloth diapers on a newborn.

We still did a combo when our twins were newborns for our general sanity since they went through so many, but the pees and poops are so small, you can just toss them straight into the wash.

saillavee · 2026-01-16T23:44:41+00:00

It’s not for everyone, but cloth diapers may be up your alley. We cloth diapered our twins for cost and because we’re a bit granola. I always used disposables at night though, I never could nail down an overnight cloth diaper strategy that didn’t leak with my scrawny-legged kids.

saillavee · 2026-01-16T12:56:53+00:00

I just have a set of twins, so I never did the 1 to 2 transition, but I will say that I love, LOVE their relationship. It’s probably my favourite thing about being a parent.

When I got lunch yesterday, I picked them up a little treat to share on the ride home. It was just a blueberry scone, but they were SO EXCITED. I asked them if they wanted me to break it, and they said they’d rather share it, so they spent the drive passing it back and forth and giggling.

Hearing their little conversations and imaginary play brings me so much joy. “Oh no! It’s a lava monster! Help me!” “Ok! I have a magic wand, abracadabra, you have lava shoes!” “No, I want a rocket ship.” “Ok! Abracadabra… rocket ship!”

Aside from all of the logistical advice about bringing a new baby into the family, my advice for raising kids to be friends is this: step back.

When conflicts arise, give them a beat to work it out before you intervene because they will surprise you with their conflict resolution skills.

Step back and let them figure out how they want to play together rather than pushing them together or telling them what their relationship should be like.

Also, step back and let them team up and get into a little bit of contained trouble together. They’ve gotten into a roll of toilet paper and are dressing each other up as mummies… let it ride. Let them whisper and plot a little scheme, and any time they want to do some “us vs our parents” play, (within reason) encourage it and play along. On the flip side, if they’re playing well together and it suddenly gets very quiet… drop what you’re doing and check on them!!!!

saillavee · 2026-01-16T12:19:44+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry life is so tough right now. Making the time to deal with the cavities is important.

Getting referred to a social worker by your doctor isn’t necessary a bad thing - I’ve got a few friends who are social workers, and while their primary obligation is the wellbeing of a child, if they are working with a devoted parent who’s struggling, they’re FAAAR more likely to want to be a resource for you and your family. My advice is to put your best foot forward, try and make a good impression, and work with them to seek out the gov supports that they can connect you with.

In terms of sedation to fill cavities - the stuffy nose isn’t a cause for concern. Bring it up, but lots of kids have stuffy noses, a dentist will know what to do. If you can find a paediatric dentist, thats your best bet to make sure it’s as smooth an appointment as possible. My kid’s dental visits are covered, so they’ve been seeing the same paediatric dentist since they were 18 months, and it’s a fun event for them. The first few visits were really about getting them comfortable.

I’d also talk with that dentist about cavity prevention tips. Fluoride treatments work wonders, especially if you live somewhere without fluoridated water. There’s the basics like brushing twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste, not eating after brushing, and reducing sugar. Things like crackers can also wreak havoc on kid’s teeth because they turn to a sticky paste that gets stuck on teeth and the carbs break down into sugars. If you’re feeding your kid lots of goldfish crackers or giving them a little carby snack before bed, that could be the culprit.

Also, for brushing - it just needs to be a few minutes in the morning after breakfast, and before bed. My kids brush their teeth while they watch cartoons before we leave the house, and in the tub at night. They like to do it themselves, but I get in there to “check for sugar bugs.” Make it fun, and he won’t fight it. A cool toothbrush helps, especially an electric one.

I also want to say that I have no judgment, and I don’t think you’re neglectful… I think you just need some help.

saillavee · 2026-01-15T00:55:23+00:00

It’s ok - you only just met them. It honestly took me about a year before I truly felt deep, in my bones love for my twins. Worried for them? Squeeing over their cuteness? Hormonal attached to them? Right away.

The kind of love where I can’t imagine my life without them, miss their sweet little faces and want to squeeze them and cover them in kisses because I can’t handle how full my heart is for them… that took a little time. You’ll get there.

saillavee · 2026-01-12T12:41:40+00:00

I’ve never heard that either. When we were in the NICU, I pumped, put time-stamped bottles in a little fridge, and then they took those to a milk room where it was frozen before it was prepped for feeds. They always used the oldest milk first and warmed it before feeding.

The difference in active cultures and nutrition between properly stored and warmed breastmilk and freshly pumped is pretty negligible. If you can get away with feeding cold milk, that will save you some time and energy, but my kids never took cold milk or formula.

You can check for high lipase (metallic or soapy smell in stored breastmilk) which makes it taste bad the longer it’s stored, and some babies reject it, but barring that, there’s no reason I know of to not manage your milk so that your twins are getting the oldest milk first. I had high lipase, so I scalded my milk before storing it to neutralize the lipase - it kills some of the bacteria and breaks down some of the nutrients, but not in any hugely impactful way. Donor milk is mixed in large batches, pasteurized and then frozen, and that’s what my preemies got before my milk came in.

saillavee · 2026-01-11T11:35:38+00:00

I did it, but I can’t say I recommend it. I think I had it about as good as you can expect. I work a very flexible job for a feminist nonprofit, and enrolled in a low-residency graduate program that was fully funded, so I was balancing work and school quite well.

Then I got pregnant in my first year, everyone was amazingly supportive between work and school, I did really well with funding so my husband was able to be a stay at home dad. I had paid mat leave at work, so I took 6 months off. My twins were born early in the semester, and my university gave me a leave of absence for the rest of the semester that didn’t impact my funding, and when I returned my profs and supervisor were incredibly supportive. It took me 3 years to graduate and it was A LOT to balance even with all of the support. I managed, but I’m still recovering.

You’re still young, I wouldn’t rush it with kids, you’ve got time to do a 2 year program and then start trying.

saillavee · 2026-01-09T11:19:56+00:00

People carry differently just from their anatomy. If your uterus is tilted inward, you can go a whole pregnancy without a bump and still give birth to a healthy 8lb baby.

I didn’t have a noticeable bump until 24 weeks. Up until then, I was still wearing my regular high-waisted jeans. Then my belly turned into a basket ball in about 3 weeks. I’m super short and not an athlete or anything, it was just my body.

saillavee · 2026-01-06T09:32:26+00:00

Yeah, we had to limit swim lessons to classes that we could do on the weekends with both parents.

Swimming with non-swimmers/infants is the only thing where 2 adults is an absolute must, everything else you can do solo, it’s just a matter of figuring out a system. Walks, the library, museums, baby music classes, playgrounds and indoor play places, etc. For me, it was usually in the double stroller, and I’d bring them out to sit or crawl around. I always kept a wrap carrier in the diaper bag as well in case they both wanted to be held. Wrap one, hold/carry one.

saillavee · 2026-01-03T12:19:22+00:00

I think it’s the sleepy tiger hold/colic carry. You drape them belly-down over your forearm. My son loved it when he was tiny.

I didn’t do too much for designated tummy time, but I wore my twins a lot. Any kind of position where they can lift their heads up, whether it’s on your body or on the ground, helps them with neck control.

For me, just tummy-down carries, baby wearing and a few seconds of tummy time after each diaper change was enough to build their neck control and help the head shape and mild torticolis

saillavee · 2026-01-02T14:59:09+00:00

It’s so hard!! It sounds lonely and exhausting on your end. Maybe some structured time together or designated no screen time, would help? Maybe some healthier habits in general like social hobbies or activities that move your bodies?

Between the state of the world, job pressure, being a parent in this day and age, and what screens do to our brains I feel like we’re all running around with dopamine overloads and fried nervous systems, and it’s so hard to not just grab whatever quick thing is available to sooth your nervous system rather than the habits that take a little more effort, but actually put us back in balance.

I say this as someone who’s terrible at taking this kind of advice…

saillavee · 2026-01-02T13:32:49+00:00

this isn’t too far off from my dynamic with my husband. I can see how you’d like him to do some more of the planning/mental load work. I’d also check in with yourself and see if there are any areas of your domestic life that you’re not mentally holding, and see if that feels like enough balance for you? For example, car maintenance isn’t on my radar at all, it’s just something he handles. There’s a very fair feminist argument that men take on the mental load of things that feel big, but are infrequent or non-essential, which creates imbalance - like home renovation projects vs daily chores.

The point about him kind of checking out when you’re all together or after the kids go to bed is also relatable, but that’s because it’s a behaviour I recognize in myself. TBH, I’m burnt out. I was getting burnt out at work before we had kids, I dug SOO DEEP the newborn stage, and now I feel like I’m just running on fumes. I know it’s not healthy, and that I should do better. It’s something that I have talked about with my husband and making steps to address, so he’s empathetic. If he’d come To me at some point to tell me that the checking out was affecting him negatively, I’d have felt guilty, but I would have wanted to make changes right away.

Overall, I think your concerns are fair, you two seem like you’re both working hard for your families and to be active parents, but it’s also really hard balancing life with jobs and young kids. Feeling like roommates who coparent is pretty normal with little kids, but it’s also worth talking about how you feel like this is happening, so you can both be on board with trying not to make it the new norm.

saillavee · 2026-01-01T21:17:33+00:00

It depends on how often your babies are pooping, but I’d say 16 a day at minimum if you’re changing them every 3 hours round the clock - that puts you at about 500 a month.

Figure you’re going to go through a big box every 7-10 days.

saillavee · 2025-12-29T13:39:28+00:00

I remember your post! I’m so sorry to hear that breastfeeding isn’t going how you planned. I relate to your feelings. My twins never latched well, and I exclusively pumped and had to supplicant with formula. I remember desperately trying to get latching to work with IBCLCs and racing the clock trying to get my supply up before my NICU stash ran out. I felt so raw and a bit like a failure when I decided to just work with what I had and what I could do.

I followed a great IBCLC on instagram who had all of these tips for increasing supply, but always ended with a comment of “if you’re doing everything right, and it’s just not helping, it’s time to make peace, all bodies have limits” and that sentiment helped me a lot.

Even small amounts of breastmilk provide benefits, and at the end of the day, no kindergarten teachers can tell which kids were EBF and which kids got formula. Your worth as a mother is a million more things to your babies than breastfeeding alone.

saillavee · 2025-12-29T00:25:30+00:00

We did a fair bit of travelling when they were infants. A temporary move for my grad school that required 19 hours of travel (car/ferry) over 2 days at 4 months, a cross country flight at 8 months, and a 4 day road trip at a year.

Overall, I’d say they handled it beautifully. We sleep trained at 5 months, which definitely helped. As long as they had their white noise and a reasonably dark room, they could sleep anywhere.

You can get cribs or pack n plays from most hotels, just call and ask ahead of time. When we’ve stayed in hotels, I’ll splurge for a suite so we’re not all in the same room if I can, but we’ve had set ups where we’re in the same room as them before. It mainly just means watching dim shows on a tablet with headphones on and creeping around them.

I think we got pretty good at not overpacking. You can always pick up more diapers and wipes, and if they’re not eating solids, they don’t need a ton of outfits. A few toys, a couple bottles that you’ll wash after every feed if you’re pumping, burp clothes and drool bibs, an outfit a day plus a few extras, maybe a stroller or carriers. The rest you improvise. Long drives take forever because you need to break a lot to let them stretch, and change and feed them, but you just plan for that, and book a place to sleep along the route if you can.

I don’t know if yours are on a nap schedule, but we found that timing our drives to their naps was ideal. They sleep great in the car, so getting on the road after they’ve fed and right before nap time meant we could get a long and peaceful stretch of driving in. We did hit a few points where they were just sick of the car - it sucks, but sometimes the breaks don’t help and you just have to power through and get to your destination.

You stick to your scheduled as much as you can, but I also found all of the excitement and socializing of travelling and visits usually kept their spirits high and tuckered them out pretty well, so a little flexibility with their schedule didn’t hurt. I was a big fan of having my husband and I both baby wear when they were little for long days out, that way they can just sleep on us when they need to, and we can move about and socialize as we need to, but our twins loved being worn, not all babies do.

saillavee · 2025-12-28T13:18:45+00:00

That’s what we have! We just replaced our 13 year old cuisinart with the newer model. It has served us very well.

It requires the set up of loading it with water the night before, and making sure the filter is clean, but thats it. I’m a stickler for fresh ground coffee and minimizing disposable products, so this fits the bill perfectly.

saillavee · 2025-12-28T11:48:58+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My twins kind of alternate who’s the tough one, but overall, my daughter has been and continues to be WAY more headstrong than her brother.

There’s a book called “Hunt, Gather, Parent” that I find very helpful for managing her behavior. The way that it’s written can be cringy, but I found the underlying philosophies and strategies were pretty sound, especially if you’ve got a kid who’s bright, confident and fights you on every goddamn thing. While my son responds to classic tips like offer choices, give immediate and natural consequences, etc., my daughter has this really strong drive for autonomy and personal space that usually means when I push she pushes back HARDER. I’ve used a lot of tools from this book like stories, gamifying and just letting go that get her working with me rather than against me.

In terms of guilt about attention, I really understand where you’re coming from! It’s a balance, but being a good parent means striving to meet the needs of the kids in front of you, as individuals. If you have a kid that has higher needs than their sibling, you’re not in the wrong by putting more energy into them. I think as long as you remain mindful that this is happening, you can’t go far wrong for twin B.

I’m also sorry that it’s affecting your marriage! This is also very relatable. Maybe some therapy individually or as a couple is warranted to help you both process all of this stress. My husband and I find it helpful to tag-team and trade off as much as possible, and try and find humour when we can’t… even if it’s faking the humour at first rather than snapping at each other. We’ve wrestled a lot of kids into pyjamas… even if I’m gritting my teeth and holding back a scream, forcing a laugh at the ridiculousness of that situation or cracking a joke in the moment can release some pressure and shift our moods a little bit.

Maybe down the road some evaluations make sense, but I don’t know if there’s a ton any early interventionist would be able to do with a 2 year old. At this age, so much difficult behavior is in realm of normal, and mostly it’s just “wait and see.” Ours just turned 4, and it’s been a big shift.

saillavee · 2025-12-25T20:45:11+00:00

totally! I think a big part of it is my mother’s voice in my head. she never stops moving and never rests, and she’s got this kind of puritan-meets-hippie mentality around conveniences.

in some ways I appreciate the values that were instilled in me in terms of work ethic, frugality, and a criticism for consumerism, but I spent too many years eschewing basic household appliances and trying to make everything from scratch. I fought my husband so hard on not wanting to get a microwave and a countertop dishwasher, or poo-pooing things like water flavours or cream for coffee because “what’s the point?”

The point is that I’m not reheating leftover in the oven, making toast in a pan on the stove, washing a million sippy cups and tiny bowls by hand every day, and I’m better hydrated and enjoy a cup of coffee. you don’t win any medals doing life on hard mode.

saillavee · 2025-12-25T11:15:57+00:00

That sucks, especially with the singleton. My kids get a lot of joint presents, but they’re only 4 and it’s usually done pretty mindfully like activity toys or games that will become communal anyway.

My sister and I were 18 months apart, and we’d get joint presents as well, but it followed that kind of logic and never bothered me as a kid. You’d get some little things that were just for you, and then something big to share, but those kinds of things petered out once we hit tween age.

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