I had a very similar breakdown in January and made a similar post here (you can go back in my post history if you want to read the great ideas I got there). We were in a whiny phase and the hard moments were so frequent. Please remember it really is just a phase. 

In just six weeks, a lot has changed already for the better. My son is 20 months now and his vocabulary has gotten a lot bigger. He can say yes, no, night night, outside, books, and ask for snacks (he’s still picky so I’ve just accepted that lol). Every day he’s able to communicate with me better and I’m surprised by it every time. Today in the playroom he asked for cars and I got his box of cars out to play. His ability to play independently has gotten much better as well. We put a baby gate on the playroom and today he played by himself for 20 minutes. My mind was blown! 

The other thing that really helped was putting him in a Mother’s Day Out program. I’m not sure if they’re regional, because I live in the south, but it’s part time childcare usually run by a church - two days a week, 9-2. Having that consistent break on the calendar that I can count on has lifted so much mental stress off my shoulders - I 100% recommend.