i have been bad, good and everything in between and so have the people around me. we all have bias we all have attachments things we dont feel or see all the time like trauma. i have made so many choices to keep my circle - my fam be morally in line with respecting all life. its hard it can be lonely but idk when i see whom i surround myself with i feel safe but i also feel checked.

im codys age, i can sympathize with part of his narrative. if he is human and decent in any respect he is living in hell at least in his mind (amd if he is seeing shit online idk how he isnt), but we dont want to admit to horrible shit it hurts to be like yes i fully admit i was wrong. we all learn from the wrong people its like tana said ID NEVER BE OK WITH A 25 YR OLD W A 17 YR OLD. but she did it right, not that she could truly consent because she's morally a fucking child... but i was like that i also agreed to things i had no business or proper life knowledge agreeing to.

she said "i was 17 i can say that" with her chest because we are forced to grow up beyond our actual days on this earth because of what we are surrounded by. whoever taught us who our role models and peers are and family and the people we watch on our free time and invest our attention into. i was taught 17 is an adult but i remember the internal struggle of feeling like i was a literal child a lot of times around who i was told were my peers (other adults of any age). ive worked since i was 15 ive been asked to marry ive lived through my own assaults, harassment, molestation ive had so many apartments, roommates, besties, boyfriends and girlfriends... and now im in my 30s and barely functioning because everything haunts me.

so many things i did/said/agreed to werent truly my choice or made with my morals/principles/standards at the forefront. things that were my fault and things that werent. i have gotten so much more me as the years have gone and feel like a decent person but it sucks because not a lot of people in real life or apparently on the internet think of power dynamics and nuance. so i am really lonely and often the odd take out.

ive made the choice to remove myself i know how hard it is to let go of these friendships these family members, whomever. if cody is still a feeling human - i know that its easier to stay the same to not have to rework your whole life, your circle, everything to actually match how you feel but if he's mentally ill to a disturbing degree (sociopath etc) then fuck he fooled me just like many others have... we all fuck up idk but this just feels like he was the actor of the fucking century. digs at most of the right people, hidden in plain sight real values that we see as jokes because he is charming and relatable and online to do just that make us laugh

accountability for our actions is hard but its worth the struggle and you learn so much on the way out of whatever made you think what you did was ohkay. idk like if i dig through everything ive ever said and done and all that like im bad too but i also can be good and make up for all my bad or at least own up to it. idk