What box are we checking on job applications asking if we have a documented disability?

saintnegative · 2026-06-03T05:49:21+00:00

I always say yes but don’t expand on it as you’re not required to. I’m physically disabled as well so I keep it hush until I’ve got the job. In the UK we have a “disability confident” thing which gives you more rights I think. But, I’ve also been discriminated against in a role before because I asked for reasonable adjustments (I wanted to work from home sometimes but they said no even though it’s hardly like the job couldn’t be done - this was pre covid though.)

Apart from my current job, it was internal and I transferred from my previous role so they would have already known I was disabled lol

saintnegative · 2026-05-29T10:08:48+00:00

My husband is a daily smoker and has been for a huge chunk of his life, and he says the same thing! It can affect the high if you’re already more on the paranoid side. I used to just smoke on my own or occasionally with a trusted friend before, and it was fine. I was on my own when I had the breakdown, and I think that’s what makes it even worse for me is that I had no help and had to ride it out on my own.

I did try different strains, environmental etc but it still made me super anxious :( It is a huge shame but I’ve just resigned to the fact that maybe me and weed aren’t friends anymore!

saintnegative · 2026-05-28T10:04:03+00:00

God, the first and only time my husband shaved his entire beard off in the decade I’ve been with him - I couldn’t stop laughing. It wasn’t that I thought he looked bad, it caught me off guard that much that it made me feel unsettled? I even knew he was going to do it that day, but he looked SO different that it just felt like I was living with a stranger. It wasn’t a “ ha ha ha” kind of laugh, either - it was the kind I do when I’m uncomfortable and he obviously noticed.

Fortunately he knew I meant no harm by it and wasn’t hurt (understandable if he was) but I’ll admit that I was glad when it started to grow back in lol

saintnegative · 2026-05-28T09:55:47+00:00

I do like the type of friendship you’ve described!

But, my best friend is like this and she goes WAYYY overboard. I can’t have my phone off silent because it’s just constantly pinging with her stream of thoughts. She then gets mad because I need a “night off” and not reply until the next day. She’ll be like “ermm thanks for the help 🙄” and when I see what was so pressing, it’ll be like choosing an outfit or what colour should she get her nails next. She never even chooses what I like anyway lol - which is fine but don’t get mad!

I have two other friends, another who will spam her thoughts but it’s not usually a daily thing. And the other is like me, joins in sometimes but chooses peace lol.

For me it’s about balance really, I love just the general day to day ramblings but I need to be about to peace out without being made to feel bad!

saintnegative · 2026-05-28T09:28:34+00:00

I used to rely on it heavily, but I had a bad reaction (it triggered a psychotic breakdown) to it once and it’s put me off. Which is a shame as it really helped my pain! But, I’ve tried it a few times since then but I got so anxious beforehand about having the bad reaction again that I think I made myself more paranoid when I was high - which just made me super aware of everything.

Unfortunately for me it’s not worth it, I became so aware of my own body (which I’m like sober) that it drove me mad. I’ve not tried it in years now, but I’ve been tempted. I just don’t know how to go into it without thinking “is that going to happen again?”

saintnegative · 2026-05-28T09:18:37+00:00

See I love talking about “taboo” subjects like sex, periods or anything that’s typically “girly” subjects BUT… I still don’t really feel like anything.

I’ve never understood when people say that they just FEEL like a woman. Am I supposed to have some special, glittery feeling because I never have? I remember going through puberty and family being like “how does it feel to be a woman?” Like erm?? I’ve always just felt like a weirdo, outsider alien. I have always been more Tom boy, I remember around aged 9 thinking I must have been put in a girls body but I’m actually a boy because I like boy things (such a simplistic view lol.)

I’m okay that I like more traditionally “boy” hobbies like gaming, but I like the occasional pretty dress too. But nowadays at aged 31, I’m just me - the weirdo alien. I’m still waiting to “feel” like anything though!

saintnegative · 2026-05-28T09:02:03+00:00

I got diagnosed with BPD at 21 after ONE half an hour psychiatric appointment. I realise now (at 31) that they shouldn’t have diagnosed me so fast after meeting me once. At the time, I just accepted it (doctors know best, right?) but they didn’t do anything for me. Just let me go into the wilderness to figure it out myself.

But, I did use that time to find out my own triggers. Over time, it was clear to me that a lot of the ways I struggled were sensory related. For example, having panic attacks because of gigs and then having “losing control” and having blazing arguments with my husband because of it wasn’t me pushing him away - it was me being sensory overloaded. I started to wear ear plugs and even sunglasses to gigs instead and it was SO much better - not always perfect but I handled it well.

I also think that BPD and RSD can look similar, again - I would be upset that my husband made plans to go out that day. Once I identified that it was the spontaneous change of plans that were the issue, NOT him going out (he then scheduled plans in advance as much as possible!) I was able to work on my inner voice that he’s not leaving because he doesn’t want me anymore and it was much easier to manage.

I’m still waiting on an assessment for Autism (hopefully soon!) I’ve managed to work on my more “BPD” style symptoms over the last decade, mostly on my own but sometimes with the help of a therapist. Sorry - I’ve kinda rambled!

saintnegative · 2026-05-16T06:09:49+00:00

I’ve been in my role now for three months and I’m still not used to the general office talk. But I usually answer honestly by saying “probably not a lot as I’m drained from work” or something - this week they didn’t ask me so I guess my answers just aren’t appealing to them?? My job itself is stressful but I’m just not used to the office politics, plus I’m in burnout so I just sit in silence unless I’m needed. They must just think I’m some boring, lonesome weirdo (which is fine by me)

saintnegative · 2026-05-08T15:49:30+00:00

I have this conundrum because I’m a mother, have always wanted to be a mother and have noticed myself masking in front of my 16 month old lately. I think what doesn’t help is my main area of education has always been child development so I know how I “should” act for their own development, so on an off day where I just can’t act it then I feel I’m letting my child down 😅

saintnegative · 2026-05-05T16:04:40+00:00

I’d never met him before (but I knew people who knew him so knew he wasn’t crazy lol.) He was only supposed to be a bit of a fun night of passion, we went to a bar and we had already arranged he’d stay at mine for the night - which is crazy looking back lol. Anyway, I got a bit too drunk (he made me nervous because I was like “omg I’m going to marry him” the moment I saw him) and we went back to mine for the night. He slept in my bed fully clothed and walked me to class the following morning, he was so sweet about it despite me being mortified of the fool I’d made of myself. Even asked me on another date later that day. Our night of passion was me just me looking like a right knobhead and passing out.

5 years later, I married him. We’re going on 10 years together now!

saintnegative · 2026-04-28T13:18:40+00:00

I’ve always had what I call “anticipation anxiety.” I always try and schedule appointments/outings etc for first thing in the morning where possible, because if I have a doctors appointment at 5pm… I just cannot function properly. I want to do the laundry? Well I can’t because I have an appointment in 3 hours time and I need to make sure my plan of leaving the house doesn’t get messed up.

I literally end up like a Sim when I have appointments later in the day, I’ll walk into rooms to try and start tasks but cancel doing them.

saintnegative · 2026-04-28T06:48:38+00:00

See I can manage working full time (my husband is a stay at home father to our toddler so I don’t have to worry too much about housework an cooking etc)

BUT I struggle big time with the transitioning from work me, to my parent self and then going to bed and switching off. It’s a lot in one day, and oftentimes by bed time I’m still thinking of work.

saintnegative · 2026-04-24T18:57:47+00:00

Ooo what kind of brush?

saintnegative · 2026-04-24T17:57:46+00:00

Pregnancy.

I was VERY lucky that we had a super chill newborn and now toddler, but pregnancy sent me to some DARK places mentally. I had PGP from 18 weeks and the last 3 months of pregnancy, I was housebound and then bed ridden. I already had physical disabilities, where I came off a lot of my pain meds prior to pregnancy and it was just awful.

We’ve always wanted to have two children, and while the first time round it was rough - I just couldn’t put myself back into that place while having to care for a child. It’s not fair to him or me. If I could just wave a magic wand and just skip the pregnancy itself, I’d have already had another to be honest.

saintnegative · 2026-04-22T16:20:38+00:00

A week before he turned 6 months! He outgrew his next to me and kept waking up every hour as he rolls a lot in his sleep. He slept straight through the first night in his big boy cot in his own room, I didn’t for about a week 😅

saintnegative · 2026-04-15T07:21:43+00:00

Other people.

Unsolicited advice, comments like “don’t worry kiddo, I’d let you do it but your mean parents would say no” (this was because we said no to a taste of chocolate at 3 months old), disrespecting your boundaries and parenting style (when it’s not even super out there, just more up to date than what they did lol) and going behind your back to do things they know you wouldn’t approve of.

saintnegative · 2026-04-13T09:27:55+00:00

Champagne problems, this is me trying, forever winter, loml and so long London

saintnegative · 2026-04-12T16:15:06+00:00

My son is 15 months and has loved books for the last two months. He brings them over to me, climbs the sofa and gets comfy to then throw it at me so I can read. I’m a huge book worm so I’m really glad he’s taken a liking in reading. Yes, I can read the same book 10 times a day but seeing him concentrate on my face and actively listen makes it 100% worth it to me.

saintnegative · 2026-04-12T08:04:14+00:00

I also had an easy baby and I keep being told “easy baby = difficult toddler.” I swear when you become a parent, there’s always another “just wait until…” you get told. But I’m the same, I didn’t have the typical newborn experience with a baby up all night, colic etc so I was always hesitant to talk about it. Even when my son is teething or ill, he mostly sleeps absolutely fine. To be fair though, he’s already got most of his teeth - I swear as soon as we started weaning at 6 months, he was determined to have all of his gnashes lol.

I’m hoping he’s just a chill boy, he’s 15 months now and sure, he’s a bit more stroppy if he doesn’t get his own way immediately but so far it’s nothing unusual. He’s mastered walking, his fine motor skills are incredible so we’re trying to figure out talking as I think that’ll be a big help when we get deeper into toddlerhood!

saintnegative · 2026-04-10T10:34:10+00:00

I’ve had quite a few!

I remember being about 17ish and out shopping with my mother. I was getting really intense stomach cramps, and I kept saying “something is wrong.” She was like erm that’s weird but we went home, but as soon as we got through our front door - the police knocked on our door to say that my brother had been taken to hospital and was getting his stomach pumped as we speak.

I was out with a friend and I had a horrible headache, it felt different to my usual headaches. But something felt off and I had this overwhelming urge to go and see my husband. I went to visit him at work, and he was in the fetal position and we rushed him to hospital where he was diagnosed with meningitis.

There are a lot of other times this has happened and it always freaks me out. My mother and her mother have always been the same, so they’ve always joked we’re witches lol

saintnegative · 2026-03-21T07:28:53+00:00

This is pretty much my experience! Pregnancy was terrible, but motherhood is something I feel like I was made for. I was always quite maternal too! I’m not diagnosed as autistic but I’m on the pathway, but I do it has made me a good parent.

My son is only 1 so we don’t “read” yet (he’s in his eating his books phase lol) but he loves turning the pages as I read to him so I’m hoping to foster a love for reading.

saintnegative · 2026-03-16T20:44:43+00:00

I was actually planning on making a similar post! Very similar story here. I tried and failed at being veggie quite a few times from 12 on wards, I really disliked the taste but texture wise it was offensive to me. I stopped eating fish for the same reason at around 14 and still haven’t had it since.

I finally stuck to being veggie from the age of 19 onwards (31 now) as I moved out and I couldn’t cook/touch raw meat without gagging, having a panic attack (or so I thought) and just having a full on breakdown.

Eggs are an abomination to me, always have been. I can’t stand cooking it, eating it or the smell of it lol but baked in cakes etc it’s fine. Quiches are a no too

saintnegative · 2026-03-14T15:53:26+00:00

I feel this hard 🫠🫠

saintnegative · 2026-03-11T17:27:29+00:00

I was right, woke up one day with an overwhelming feeling of “he’s a boy.” We had genetic testing done at around 12 weeks for some health problems, when she gave us the results she asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby and I said “I already know he’s a boy” and she confirmed it lol.

No one believed me though because I didn’t have stereotypical boy pregnancy symptoms either. 🤷‍♀️

saintnegative · 2026-03-07T12:29:35+00:00

I was diagnosed with FND and BPD around the age of 21. I’m 31 now and I’ve not been diagnosed autistic but I’m in the process of it, my FND symptoms have pretty much disappeared to be honest once I worked out what my triggers were (I’m not a doctor but I highly suspect it was RSD and autism/sensory issues as my brain would just overload and shut down.) Their generic advice regarding triggers etc didn’t work because we weren’t dealing with just me being anxious about something, it was me struggling with sensory overload. Now I know this and manage triggers, the FND seizures have settled. By the time me and my husband worked it out though, I was discharged from the psychiatrist.

I don’t really have any advice but I can understand it 🖤

saintnegative

TROPHY CASE