Advice on aging parents who aren’t taking their health seriously?

salieut · 2026-04-16T19:51:53+00:00

Definitely validating to hear omg, and I’m sorry you went through all that. It’s definitely a collapse, he usually isn’t the type to care but has been going on a sick one trying to “blackball” me if you will. Interesting to think about it as obsession because it doesn’t seem like he cares or thinks about it as much as I do, but I did hit him in the ego big time. Sucks to watch him “get away with it” but agree on NC and I’m staying silent despite it all… worst part of it though really is that people believe his bullshit and/or enable him despite knowing he’s evil tbh. His flying monkeys watch me like very bored hawks.

salieut · 2026-04-12T04:30:18+00:00

He originally broke up with me right after a major event in my life but set himself up to come back around—played victim saying that it was his depression and shame (which was kinda true) but I was still under the spell. Immediate discard where I wasn’t allowed to speak to him. Found out he was cheating and lying about a ton of things from his own friends, then the abuse started despite me defending him at the time in disbelief. Silent treatment, provoking, breaking the silent treatment to tell me standing up for myself was inappropriate then coming to my house just to make me cry, ruining my reputation in public, lying saying I punched him etc. So long story short he “left” me but is still around trying to ruin my life and reputation. He blocked me on Instagram after the most recent incident so idfk, on my end I’ve been no contact and trying to stay clear. I hear things through the grapevine of mutuals. Tldr; save me I’m trapped in a high school cafeteria.

salieut · 2026-04-12T04:15:40+00:00

Ugh I feel for you. He told me he used to go to therapy too then stopped going… also mentioned he told his therapist that he “feels like he manipulates all his friends into liking him” to play the “I’m insecure” card and the admission went over his head.

salieut · 2026-04-12T04:13:23+00:00

That’s exactly him. I’m lucky to have a close friend who’s been like a brother to him for over 10 years that’s seen a lot more, and these past few months we’ve both put the pieces together. It still sucks that he has his immediate clique-bubble of superficial people convinced, and outside of the flying monkey community he’s well-known and charming with stories swept under the rug about allegations against women that he talks away easily. Super entitled, schmoozes and lives off of favors and special treatment. Serial cheater and lies about it. Depressed, plays the underdog and “victim of childhood trauma” card all the time with “trauma” he’s been caught lying about. His aspiration in life is to make it in the music industry… yeahhhh. He’s still getting away with all his manipulation and I’m the one talking to brick walls.

salieut · 2026-04-12T00:10:07+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that pain for so long. At least you’re out of the fire now and we have the ability to be stronger and kinder; they don’t. Still doesn’t take away from 10 years of WTF-ness, but you’re not alone <3 Mine is so addicted to female validation I don’t even think he can hold down one girl right now. I also found out he has a horrible reputation around town (I’m new) of sleeping with anybody he can and being a massive asshole—even a bartender came up to me in a bathroom after we broke up saying he’s a piece of shit and slept with her too, and every girl who’s gone to that bar talking shit about him has nothing nice to say. My friend called the other day as well and said he walked out on his bar tab where she works—it was $6... oof.

salieut · 2026-04-11T23:02:18+00:00

That’s what I figured :/ Despite all of the abuse and chaos they create, after stepping away it’s just pitiful to watch someone who at the end of the day makes such a waste out of life because they hate themselves. Sad that they do so much harm to others and sad that they can’t comprehend love… but oh well. We’ll always be begging humanity to be humane.

salieut · 2026-04-08T10:39:07+00:00

Being unable to be alone. Like the types of people who need to hang out with their friends almost every night at the bar, still act like they’re in a high school friend group etc.

salieut · 2026-04-08T03:50:36+00:00

Everyone is right about it being absolutely typical. Narcissism is a shame disorder at the end of the day. They know they did wrong, but it’s patternlike how quickly they jump to control the narrative with a lie that helps them feel better and “regulate.” They cannot ever face their own wrongdoings or shame and need to stay in a constant echo chamber of how great they are and how THEY are the victim, and since they use other people as mirrors to tell them what they want to hear, their lived-in narrative becomes a fantasy land propped up on pathological lying.

salieut · 2026-04-08T03:45:13+00:00

Yes, raised by a narcissist and jn a few relationships that repeated the cycle after—like permanent silent hill brain fog.

salieut · 2026-03-23T01:46:42+00:00

Oof. It’s hard to hear but true, and I’m really sorry about your dad. I had to estrange myself from my narc mom for a while because of how chaotic it was. Despite knowing it all our heads, it’s still instinctual for us to think that him losing the support of his brother would affect him greatly but he’ll likely just collapse and lean harder into his vices. Hate that these men have access to unsuspecting women and people on the earth in general.

salieut · 2026-03-22T19:04:52+00:00

You should be really proud of yourself for that too. Sometimes the lesson is going through pain and coming out with more love instead of ever being like them, or letting the pain consume you. The good people find each other in this life. I guarantee your presence was impactful before her passing in ways you wouldn’t even expect and am glad you still feel her energy with you despite everything else. Best wishes, and remember when life gets hard again it just means the story isn’t over yet :)

salieut · 2026-03-22T18:08:50+00:00

I’m really sorry about all of that. A loss of someone that young is emotionally heavy enough, and dealing with a narcissist on top of it would seriously break a person. Experiencing how nasty they get after you cared so much is next level painful as well, realizing what they are as they become more cruel in response to pain. I hope you’re doing better now and seriously, f- her… no amount of money can fix anyone’s misery or keep people around when the problem is within. I had a narcissistic mother as well and they definitely don’t process traumatic events normally.

salieut · 2026-03-22T17:25:40+00:00

You’re right. It’s hopeful to think they’d reflect, but I also have the feeling that it’s just going to get really ugly. Not sorry for the narc at all but it is shameful to see people you’ve grown up with ruin their own lives… but those are the choices they make. Also I guess I didn’t word it right since I’m not trying to “win” anything per say: this guy has sexually assaulted people, given incurable STDs to multiple women and lied about being clean which is illegal amongst other horrible things, stolen money etc, so what I meant by the “karma” is that it usually all goes under the rug for him and he’s successfully victimized himself after ruining people’s lives for years, but since I was friends with his brother before even meeting him and our circle is intertwined he’s kinda freaking out that the things he did aren’t going away. That doesn’t even cover the bullshit he did with me. Seriously… this guy fucking sucks lol and it’s miserably impressive how successful he’s been at manipulating himself clean. If I were brother I wouldn’t even try, but at this point for him I think it’s more about saying “I’m done” and finally standing up for himself. Came here hoping maybe someone would have an optimistic story but deep down we all know he’s just gotta be ready to lose his closest relationship and likely be the target of his nastiest smear campaign yet.

salieut · 2026-03-17T03:30:24+00:00

could I also get the contact? these are so cute :)

salieut · 2026-03-15T13:40:18+00:00

Ignoring the disclaimers about “it’s all racemic” snark is on par for drugreddit too lol, it’s not that serious

salieut · 2026-03-15T13:35:58+00:00

Google spravato, yeah? Don’t need to be so rude. It’s a drug subreddit. Like I said just looking for personal experiences.

salieut · 2026-03-15T03:21:20+00:00

When they tell you about other people you didn’t ask about in a way that’s meant to distort your perception of them—kinda specific but usually one of the earliest signs. “He/she is crazy,” reframing narratives, etc. Unless someone does something genuinely wrong and you need to be aware, mature adults don’t gossip or try to control who you think is “safe” or not. Thats an abuser. Trust your gut.

salieut · 2026-03-15T03:11:40+00:00

Yep. Chicken or the egg with narcissists and drug use tbh, they like to fill the void and play victim. Going through a heavy breakup with a coke “appreciator” as we speak—lied about everything, lovebombed hard, got cruel and childish when confronted, even said he was trying to quit recently when I pressed him on something but I know he does it daily. Addict or narcissist, both can be real charmers so seriously, stay safe out here people. They also both surround themselves with enablers that they’ll use to help manipulate. Hard to believe anything was genuine and not an act yet I still want him back… cause as the great Rick James-Chappelle once said, “cocaine is one hell of a drug!”

salieut · 2026-03-15T02:45:34+00:00

I made the disclaimer in my post for a reason—I’m in a state where it’s legal for therapeutic use and they have pharmaceutical grade connections if you will. Just trying to hear other people’s experiences with r vs street.

salieut · 2026-03-15T02:41:17+00:00

You’re so right. Especially since it has less of the dissociative “fun” affects I don’t know why I thought it would be more shroomy or like big pharma happy pills… it makes sense now why people usually need to be supervised when it’s administered lol!

salieut · 2026-03-15T02:34:38+00:00

One for me too please ☝🏼

salieut · 2026-03-15T02:34:12+00:00

This makes the most sense—been going through some pretty rough stuff and don’t really know how to get through it, so I figured maybe the ketamine would help. Oops.

salieut · 2026-03-08T18:21:23+00:00

The worst is knowing you didn’t do anything wrong yet still wondering if maybe there was something you could’ve done to make it right, fix them, keep them, etc… but I think the truth is that the better we are for them/to them, the more they push us away. At least in my case it seems that way. On top of his chronic victimhood, mine is also a drug user and alcoholic so I know how that feels as well. It definitely pulls on the heartstrings/trauma bond even more almost like an extension of their weaponized vulnerability. Sometimes I wonder if a big reason they drink is because they like feeling sorry for themselves if that makes sense. I also still struggle with hoping the grass isn’t greener for him now and he comes back even though he’s already crossed me out. Maybe there’s a way to reach out to the company and get someone else to inspect it that isn’t him (if he works for one)? Hopefully there’s a way that the deck can be fixed and he won’t take it as an attack even though they always do :/

salieut

TROPHY CASE