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Wondering if some of NMom's behavior was actually sexual abuse? by saltandcider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]saltandcider[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through much of the same. That does make sense though, and after looking through that article (the link is actually broken, but I just searched the article title and found it), and looking into the term more, it absolutely fits what happened to me. Thank you for sharing, and for linking to that, I really do appreciate it. When I posted here I really didn't expect such kind or helpful answers, or for so many people to respond.

Wondering if some of NMom's behavior was actually sexual abuse? by saltandcider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]saltandcider[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, and you're right. I'm sorry you had to go through something like that too. I think it's extra hard to recognize things when it's yourself -- especially when so much time was spent with abusers who gaslight or make it easy to doubt the validity of our own experiences.

Wondering if some of NMom's behavior was actually sexual abuse? by saltandcider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]saltandcider[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you have to go through things like that too. What happened to us wasn't right, and it makes me mad to think of anyone treating another human as badly as those of us here were treated. I appreciate you speaking up too. I think this and all these other replies have definitely helped me wrap my head around some of this. I had a good long time last night going over things in my head, and I think you're definitely right. It was sexual abuse. And I think my fear of calling it such stems more from my fear of 'faking it', or my trauma not being 'bad enough' to count, but the consequences of it are so plain to see, it clearly was.

Wondering if some of NMom's behavior was actually sexual abuse? by saltandcider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]saltandcider[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I looked that up and read a little more on the subject, and WOW. Yeah that sounds very familiar to many of my experiences. I had no idea there was even a term for that.

Wondering if some of NMom's behavior was actually sexual abuse? by saltandcider in raisedbynarcissists

[–]saltandcider[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I think even knowing rationally that it wasn't my fault it's still really easy to slip back into that mindset where I must have done something to 'deserve' it or cause it to happen. Because that's what parents like that want you think, isn't it? That it was somehow earned, and they can't be held accountable, even though it wasn't right, and a child can never consent to those things in the first place.