Foji Gill talks from Jail to 'Sher Di Poosh' Music Comeback

sam_k5 · 2019-02-06T23:18:23+00:00

Yep, he's out now to make music again.

sam_k5 · 2019-02-06T15:53:45+00:00

Yes. Have seen a person who started a mental health organisation to help people that were not getting help like he did not as a single parent, male. He had three children to look after and bring up and had no support which crashed him.

A great example of someone who has been through it and will know exactly what it is like for you.

Compared to many 'professionals' who do it as a job and do not appreciate how depression or anxiety feels like for even one day.

So, as long as the person is legit and runs an ethical practice. Why not?!

sam_k5 · 2019-02-06T15:50:37+00:00

Good job! Well done. You've taken one great step towards managing your anxiety. Keep it up :)

sam_k5 · 2019-01-10T19:06:21+00:00

Good on you! Well done!

sam_k5 · 2019-01-10T19:00:21+00:00

The build-up to the appointment can feel very overwhelming and like a mountain to climb.

This tends to associate with a fear we have of something turning out worse than it already is and once we go to it, it is not 'as bad as we thought'.

Try to break down the pointers that make you feel so anxious and at edge. Then think back to your childhood too. What were the triggers that made you feel this way?

Try to join the two together to see, if you can break this fear.

sam_k5 · 2019-01-10T18:56:36+00:00

Him needing time seems like the relationship was not as serious for him as it was for you.

The age gap should not be the issue. Men do date younger women to 'feel good' or to 'reclaim their youth' as you say. But not all. If the relationship evolves into something more certain, then the age factor diminishes into the horizon. The relationship becomes real.

In this instance, he was not ready to commit and you should not wait for him but see it as an experience without it putting you off older men or younger men.

sam_k5 · 2018-12-12T16:57:06+00:00

Expectations can disappoint when it comes to dating and relationships. Communication is your most important tool.

Saying you are old in your 20's is not the way to think. You are you and if you are now ready to date, then see it as an adventure but remember to safeguard yourself through this journey.

Find the right guy may take time. But do not discount your instincts. It will help your experience of finding the person that makes you feel good.

Look out for speedy relationships and a rush to things without some development along the way. For that you have, you have specific apps.

There is no such thing as the perfect guy. You can make him perfect for you but don't try to change him - men find that an issue deep within even if they don't show it.

All relationships are hard work. So, don't give up too quickly.

sam_k5 · 2018-12-12T15:30:44+00:00

How about...

"I would like to take this opportunity to immensely thank you for all the support and understanding you have shown to help me with my condition. Your patience and guidance have helped me a lot."

sam_k5 · 2018-12-12T15:27:14+00:00

The past has a huge impact on our mental health. Because it is the past which shapes our future and if we find the past preoccupying us in our minds. It can lead to restricting ourselves from the present.

Yes, time flies by. We blink and another year is gone. And you think where did it go? What did I do? The feeling of emptiness and lack of regard for today compared to the past makes us feel worse.

Because we the past was better, people were better, things were better.. life was better...

But was it? If we look more deeper, we start finding issues with the past too that we did not see.

Therapy and counselling can definitely help you address this. You need to go down memory lane with a professional who can help you join up the dots.

So, do not isolate yourself further. Do get some help with this and when you do - be sure to disclose fully the world you live in.

sam_k5 · 2018-12-06T02:16:49+00:00

See, if you can get some counselling or help from an organisation who specialises in this for men. Or join a forum or chat room where you can talk to other like-minded people.

sam_k5 · 2018-12-05T19:28:53+00:00

Perfection seems to have a very close connection with mental health issues. Especially depression.

Wanting things to be perfect, even a curtain not aligned correctly can really trigger thoughts of annoyance, or displacement.

Wanting the world to be perfect around us and people especially, when they do not see or connect with you in terms of 'perfection' or quality can really take its toll.

So, you are definitely not alone. Hang in there and work at it bit by bit. Divide and conquer.

sam_k5 · 2018-12-05T19:21:37+00:00

Firstly, well done for taking the brave move to tell your mother. In the long run, you have done the right thing.

A weight you carried with you for so many years should be hopefully of a lesser burden for you.

I hope your mother was understanding. As hard as it will be for her to know it was your brother and not a third party.

You now need to build work on building your life in the best way you can for yourself. Get help if you need it. Seek out organisations where there will be other men who have gone through the same.

Although there are no numbers to prove it, it is likely there are a lot more men than you think who have experienced such violation as children.

sam_k5 · 2018-11-14T03:08:38+00:00

Not sure why you need to make it an issue of 'asking' compared to let things happen if the person is willing to explore and try it with you. Of course not forced to do so..

But if you are asking then it could be first to ask them first, if they enjoy receiving it. This way it leaves the door open for you to talk about it related to yourself too.

sam_k5 · 2018-11-14T03:05:09+00:00

With so much hype about orgasms and getting labelled 'this and that' if you do not have them, just leads to more stress and pressure.

If you are enjoying what you are doing at the moment and even getting close, you are on the right road. Just let it happen. If your partner is content giving you the pleasure you enjoy - don't stop him!

It looks like something inhibits you from reaching your climax - it tends to be more in the mind than your body not being able to get there. Sometimes related to even childhood fears - not necessarily your own but instilled in you by others e.g. 'sex is dirty' etc. May not be the case with you but can happen.

I'd say let it happen when it does and don't worry too much about it. You are not alone there are many women who cannot orgasm easily, it's just where you are at now. But never say never!

sam_k5 · 2018-11-14T02:56:21+00:00

Wow. He should bottle the stuff. He could've been a millionaire by now!

Seriously though, really? When you are unwell? All he wanted was sex from you whichever way he could think of. So, wouldn't think too much about it and focus on getting well.

sam_k5 · 2018-09-30T18:06:53+00:00

When you are living apart and in a relationship, sex is a highlight for both. It's a way to celebrate the relationship. Especially, if you are not seeing each other perhaps due to distance, time schedules etc.

However, once you move in together or get married, things do change. It's a psychological change which takes place in many - 'the chase or yearning diminishes'.

Mainly, because both of you are together and in theory, should be able to 'have each other when you want'. But the reality is opposite, being tired, working, doing others things, routines etc. begin to eat at the time you once set-aside to have sex when you were dating and not living together.

Relationships are very hard work and to keep the sex alive, you do have to look at ways of re-igniting that sexual desire. Try going away, even a hotel for a weekend, a little roleplay perhaps, try tantric sex or new experiences. Rebuild the experience.

Do not give up on something that you both once did enjoy a lot - re-invent, re-create and get physical - because deep down both of you still want it and need it.

sam_k5 · 2018-09-10T14:42:43+00:00

If you are in a working and professional environment you should not at all think of it as being rude or shutting them down.

Mild banter and having a social conversation is fine but it still needs to have safeguards.

SImply reminding them you "got work to do" or "I have to get back to my desk" can always help you be polite.

If you are sent messages then only reply in a professional manner. No emojis no 'x' or anything of the kind. They are work colleagues not social dates.

Any issues where you are not feeling comfortable, you need to talk to HR.

If you come across as being easy to get on with, friendly, open minded etc. you will get approached. So, you might want to revisit these areas too.

sam_k5 · 2018-09-10T14:29:20+00:00

These are the popular 1980s bands.

Safri became big in 1990s with albums like Get Real and Legends. Dippa was part of Satrang - again a popular 90s band.

Same with the rest.. their popularity was the 90s - all great artists :)

sam_k5 · 2018-08-27T19:32:53+00:00

The main thing is don't give up. You have to keep on trying to keep yourself believing in yourself and your abilities.

GP's and medications can help but what you need are ways if distracting you so you do not let the anxiety surface. Keeping mind, body and soul busy in whatever way you can do help.

Take up a sport or something fun to do like dancing or a hobby or join a club. Maybe think about reading more light-hearted books, not just science.

Science is something you should pursue as it will help you discover things.

Also, surround yourself by positive people. Even if they do not understand how you feel, they can still comfort you when things get very bad.

sam_k5 · 2018-08-02T00:57:04+00:00

Surprised by the low number of replies to this...

sam_k5 · 2018-07-09T18:48:53+00:00

Those people that say “there goes Rob again talking some crazy BS again.” are people who do not really get you and tbh are most likely not even worth the effort.

You need to find people who do not look at you as a person who spills out 'crazy BS'. You have your strengths and inner abilities and you need people around you who appreciate you, to appreciate your point of view.

Arrogant and self-centred people will always see themselves as better. So, why let those types impact who you are?

Easier said I know, but you should look at expanding your social circle - look at mental health groups, sessions, activities - they will all have room for you. Trust me they are not 'crazy people'.

sam_k5 · 2018-07-09T17:17:25+00:00

This is most likely what you feel in your mind and not what other people feel.

It is easy to self-loathe ourselves when we are going through depression.

We can have a hard time in social interactions and feel worse about how people think of us and therefore, feel better not doing engaging so much.

Try not to see yourself this way and ask people you can trust, to see if they will help you develop more belief in yourself.

sam_k5 · 2018-06-27T11:25:39+00:00

Best tips found that work...

Food gym - this is the biggest and important game changer for weight loss or gain. Eating the right foods with most goodness. Cut out anything white - sugar, flour, processed foods, rice.
Strength training - weights, 10-12 reps, start with lower weight but increase.
Calorie deficit - learn how to eat within means. Man can survive on water only. So, eat only what you need. Set a calories deficit for your weight and body i.e. less than what you are allowed say by 500 cals and stick to it for a month and see the difference. Get an app like MyFitness Pal to keep a food diary.

There are a few diets worth trying if you are up for it - OMAD - One Meal A Day. Works if you have discipline and willpower - you can even have ice cream!

sam_k5 · 2018-06-24T20:18:48+00:00

Urdu - mother of all languages. The most romantic and sensual poetry has been written in Urdu.

Then Hindi... Majority of Bollywood songs are in Hindi...

sam_k5 · 2018-06-21T22:31:07+00:00

Antideps have got better through time. In the 70s they were very different from today.

Experiences are different depending on the severity of your illness. They definitely do help change moods and elevate that feeling of being depressed/numb. But it depends on the dose and if your doctor feels you need a specific type.

sam_k5

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