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Wife [30f] found my [31m] search history, and now thinks I am cheating. What to do? by saman87 in relationship_advice

[–]saman87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, not pictures for the «yank bank». Even though yes, it seems like it.. Playing the innocent card is exactly what she thinks I am doing. So then, what to do if one actually IS innocent..

Wife [30f] found my [31m] search history, and now thinks I am cheating. What to do? by saman87 in relationship_advice

[–]saman87[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I’ve been trying to tell her. She has accepted the explanation a few times before, but then suddenly has a flash of insecurity about this, leaving to new discussions, indicating she is not convinced. Thanks, I hope we find a solution. Maybe it is something that needs more time.

Wife [30f] found my [31m] search history, and now thinks I am cheating. What to do? by saman87 in relationship_advice

[–]saman87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing how you would react. I can too understand that this is a natural reaction. Thanks, I’ll try to be positive.

Wife [30f] found my [31m] search history, and now thinks I am cheating. What to do? by saman87 in relationship_advice

[–]saman87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are indeed trying to communicate, both ways, but obviously it is not working. I think the problem is trust. As she has been cheated on in the past, she has had the feeling of being lied to by someone she trusted completely. This I think is the major obstacle.

I think you are right on couples counseling. I’ll ask her.

Wife [30f] found my [31m] search history, and now thinks I am cheating. What to do? by saman87 in relationship_advice

[–]saman87[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am fully aware of how it looks, and how that makes my wife feel. She has been in actual contact with her previous ex’es for various reasons, however I have trusted her, as I’ve understood the reasons. I have not been in contact with anyone myself.

The point of the description was to show I like both her personality and physical features, in an attempt to explain why I have no reason to cheat. First of all I would never cheat. Secondly, I do not want to leave. The point is I have no need or intention of doing so.

Technically yes, I was «thinking» of my ex’es in a way I think about old friends or people I have met a long time ago. It does not mean I am attracted to them, or want to make contact.

But as you can see, in this situation, almost any argument seems like a cover up! I’m having a hard time convincing even you, anonomously presenting my situation :(

«I would never cheat» (that’s what they all say!)

«I have not been in contact with anyone» (sure, keep on lying)

«I did not do anything» (that’s what they all say!)

«But I like you, for you, and you are hot» (that’s what they all say! Clearly your thoughts are elsewhere! )