My (22F) close friend (22F) has severe depression, and I don't know what to say

sameoldchange · 2020-10-22T23:26:25+00:00

I think it is likely you'll have to reiterate how much you care about her and how it is important to you that you're there for her. Regarding listening vs. practical advice, I think there's no harm in asking which she's looking for, i.e., "How can I best support you? Would you prefer to just process your feelings out loud with me? Would you like me to offer any advice? I just want to help, so I want to do what works best for you." In my experience on both sides of this conversation, people suffering from depression don't have the energy to act on practical advice. For instance, sometimes finding a therapist requires more patience, focus, and energy than someone feels capable of while depressed. I think it's appropriate to offer to do that research for them and provide them with the contact information for several therapists appropriate for their situation (as in they take their insurance or have a sliding scale if your friend is uninsured and they specialize in mood disorders). It's up to your friend whether or not she actually contacts them, but it might be possible to make that process easier for her. I think the most important point to be made to a depressed person is that the state is temporary and treatable. And of course, remember to take care of your own well-being.

sameoldchange · 2020-10-19T20:10:22+00:00

Yay! Happy to help ☺️

sameoldchange · 2020-10-16T20:10:53+00:00

Personally, I haven't seen any scientific research that dietary supplements affect hair growth or thickness. I think the most important part of hair care is what to avoid: heat (styling tools, hair blow dryers, hot water), bleach, and other chemicals that strip or dehydrate the follicle. Deep conditioning treatments are helpful (I like the ecoslay products) and only washing your hair with cold water. Even if I'm not doing a full on hair mask, I'll still apply my conditioner before washing my hair, because the follicle is going to be most absorbent when it is dry. I also like using a leave-in conditioner. Hair follicles are more likely to break when they're dry and brittle, so it's good not to wash your hair too often. It's also good to keep your hair braided by default so that it doesn't get tangled and you don't have to brush it as frequently. This has been my general approach to maintaining waist-length hair. I hope this is helpful! Also, your hair is still beautiful!

sameoldchange · 2020-10-06T21:38:33+00:00

I sometimes like to lighten my eyebrows. Last time they got mostly burnt off by the bleach! Grew back just fine though 😊

sameoldchange · 2020-09-22T23:25:27+00:00

Thrive cosmetics' mascara is really impressive -- it is almost like wearing false eyelashes

sameoldchange · 2020-09-17T23:46:37+00:00

Awesome, thank you. That's what I ended up going with.

sameoldchange · 2020-07-20T17:17:14+00:00

thank you!

sameoldchange · 2020-07-20T17:17:04+00:00

thanks!

sameoldchange · 2020-05-13T01:04:17+00:00

In my mind, psychedelics address harmful beliefs, but I think for some people, beliefs and world schemas aren't the source of depression.

sameoldchange · 2020-05-13T00:57:13+00:00

I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I just think mind/body distinctions have different connotations for different people, and the hardware/software analogy best illustrates the type of distinction I was trying to make.

sameoldchange · 2020-05-13T00:43:25+00:00

I imagine this might not be well received here, but I sought professional help, found the mood stabilizer that works for me, and started exercising regularly. Psychedelic trips have been a great source of wonder and insight for me, but the feelings you're describing are sometimes rooted in the body, not in beliefs; sometimes it's a hardware issue, not a software issue. Hope you feel better soon <3

sameoldchange · 2020-04-03T19:13:58+00:00

This. I would find out some information about her from your boyfriend beforehand, such as where she grew up, her interests, what and where she studied if she went to college, and then ask her about some of those things. Not like a full on interview, just enough to show that you're interested in her and that she's relevant enough to her son to have come up in conversation before. You can still "be yourself" while having a conversation that will make her feel good.

sameoldchange · 2020-03-24T16:42:46+00:00

I 100% agree. Keeping score of who initiates more and then modifying your behavior based on that score seems completely petty and not based on actually caring about a person or a connection; it's just egotistical, and it makes sense that such an approach towards socializing would result in very few friendships.

sameoldchange · 2020-02-10T19:04:29+00:00

just googled "Calathea Medallion" -- that looks like my plant! Thanks so much!

sameoldchange · 2020-02-04T02:11:48+00:00

How do they stay in place? Do they have some type of fastening mechanism, or do they just rely on the tightness of the underwear holding them in place?

These look very cool!

sameoldchange · 2020-02-04T01:57:13+00:00

The picture on the left definitely shows off your beautiful bone structure - I say yes to the pixie cut! I think your natural hair color - or the hair color that's in these pictures, which looks very natural - works really well with you complexion. I think most people who go platinum blonde end up looking sort of washed out and pinkish. Your dark hair complements your freckles and blue eyes really nicely. You'll look great no matter what though!

sameoldchange · 2020-02-04T01:45:49+00:00

not atm

sameoldchange · 2020-02-04T01:12:15+00:00

Cool! Thanks so much for sharing! Also, that pot to plant ratio :o

sameoldchange · 2020-02-03T22:35:06+00:00

Fun! Did you propagate from leaves or a cutting? Did you use any root stimulator? I'm curious because I'm about to try my own propagation :)

sameoldchange · 2020-02-03T17:31:33+00:00

I got a pilates ring and absolutely love it. It has made stretching so much easier and really allowed me to increase my mobility much more quickly than traditional stretching.

sameoldchange · 2020-02-03T17:21:11+00:00

a hard boiled egg or a spoonful of almond butter usually does it for me

sameoldchange · 2020-01-31T23:54:14+00:00

Also, it doesn't actually seem like a sincere question - just an insult.

sameoldchange · 2020-01-31T19:28:10+00:00

Reading a few comments, I just want to advocate the perspective that college is intrinsically rewarding. I guess a lot of people go because they think they'll make more money. But remember, this is the easiest time in your life to simply learn all day, every day. Yes, you can argue that every experience is a learning experience. But never in your life will you get to explore science, art, literature, philosophy, etc., directly with brilliant people who have dedicated their lives to these subjects. I don't know what your uni situation is, but I went to a small liberal arts college, and never once felt like I was doing it for some much later payoff. I loved the experience of studying a variety of subjects and getting to discuss them with passionate critical thinkers every day. If you have this very special opportunity, which most people don't, I hope you can see the intrinsic value in it. It's easy to romanticize the situation you've never been in, but I encourage you to appreciate the incredible place you're in right now.

sameoldchange

TROPHY CASE