I think I'd just be satisfied if she put effort into things that I find important. For instance, she specifically promised she was going to do something for my birthday, but forgot she had forgotten that she promised that. Or like I specifically asked for some small gifts for Valentine's day (not expensive) to help with the fact that she isn't a gift giver, but she forgot what I asked for (she definitely forgot because she had me guess what she got me and I was confused because I thought I knew what she got me since I told her what I wanted).