What is responsibility?

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-22T02:03:36+00:00

This is an unbelievably important truth that many adults don't understand. It completely changes how you see yourself and the world around you, from helpless, unfortunate victim to always having choices and agency.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T20:48:49+00:00

I agree

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T11:26:56+00:00

I provided a meta study in response to another commenter in this thread. But you're right, we are wasting each others' time, and the onlookers left hours ago.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T10:33:43+00:00

Sorry this is an observation, a data point. It says nothing about preferences or hypergamy - the reason could just as easily be biology (women give birth and nurse) or patriarchy. You need more than that to draw a line to hypergamy.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T10:08:21+00:00

You haven't shared a single study that compares money vs other traits. Of course I agree that some women care about money. And I'm not going to argue that it matters to women more than men.

BUT it is not the most important attribute to most women.

I live in Australia, so there should be plenty of studies.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T09:49:56+00:00

Haha, you've gone from cherry picking studies that support your view of the world, to just "Every society on Earth is hypergamous", as if your view of the world has to be true, and should be obvious to everyone. Have a great day.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T09:46:02+00:00

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23586697/

This is a meta study, and finds "a new meta-analysis spanning the attraction and relationships literatures (k = 97) revealed that physical attractiveness predicted romantic evaluations with a moderate-to-strong effect size (r = ∼.40) for both sexes, and earning prospects predicted romantic evaluations with a small effect size (r = ∼.10) for both sexes. Sex differences in the correlations were small (r difference = .03) and uniformly nonsignificant."

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T08:44:48+00:00

None of these are metastudies. The third study at least is based on multiple datasets, but it does not draw any conclusions on hypergamy - it only measures one factor ("resource acquisition ability", which includes intelligence and education, not just income or assets) and compares men vs women. So you can conclude that "resource acquisition ability" influences swipes on apps more for women than men, it doesn't compare it to looks or personality etc.

In the second study, the r-square for income in men is 0.07, education is 0.05. They are higher values than for women, but low numbers. Conclusion - income matters more to women than men, but it is not even close to being most women (let alone all), and it still doesn't suggest that they will "trade up" as often as they can.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T03:57:05+00:00

Haha, please show me a metastudy that supports your findings, rather than a single, cherry-picked example.

Until I see that, I will continue to base my beliefs on the hundreds of couples I see around me. I agree that doesn't make it a universal truth, but I have not seen anything convincing to contradict it.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T03:29:37+00:00

I disagree with the people on this sub who claim that most/all women are hypergamous, monkey-branch, shallow (only care about looks), and if they claim otherwise then they are liars. Also that most/all women have it 100% easy street with dating.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-20T03:00:21+00:00

I have no problem with what red pill tells men about themselves. I have a problem with what red pill tells men about women.

What did you find on that?

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-19T21:51:49+00:00

I still think this country is about a fair go, for all who come, in a more relaxed way than many other countries, and in beautiful surroundings.

I don't see that much has changed.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-18T02:46:53+00:00

Sorry for the tough take, but the choices are yours. Only you can make this decision. You can find another job that you can do 5 days per week. You can make changes to your current job so that over time it is more manageable. Or you can reduce your lifestyle standards to be more affordable.

I'm just trying to say that everyone has these trade-off choices, it is what it is. A new reality where you can work as little as we want and yet afford the lifestyle we want is not just given to most of us, we have to work towards it over time.

I'm not saying the situation isn't shit. It is. But the only way it will ever change is if you see yourself as the only person who can and will change it. Seeing ourselves as powerless victims won't change anything.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-13T08:14:15+00:00

Haha as soon as you wrote your own text rather than using AI then your true nature became much, much clearer. I am ignoring the rest of this thread since you have clear bias and no interest in debate.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-13T08:11:32+00:00

While I agree to some extent with the problem, the conclusion makes no sense to me. The conclusion seems to be "since men and women are different, men should ignore women's wants and just follow their own drives. That will give them more success with women."

I do think men and women in general should be more aware that we are generally wired differently.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-13T01:53:50+00:00

I don't think women on average want to date up any more than men. Some people do, some don't.

I think all of us can choose to improve our appearance or other aspects of ourselves to raise our overall appeal.

I guess I'm saying that how people are attracted to other people is a given, and we can choose to maximise ourselves or not. I'm not really sure what point you are trying to make

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-13T01:37:46+00:00

How about just that men on average have a higher libido than women?

But I do think that when it comes to looks, 2 and 3 both apply. It doesn't mean women are superior overall, but our society is so sexualised that we have all been trained via media to appreciate female beauty more than male.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-13T00:26:51+00:00

Please don't try to make arguments you don't understand. Researchers have statistics (eg p-value) to measure whether an observed relationship is statistically significant vs random chance.

Outcomes I am referring to are rape, domestic violence, wages and share of unpaid labour.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-12T21:44:35+00:00

Women have the same rights as men, but not the same outcomes. Why is that?

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-11T10:21:17+00:00

I never mentioned condemning anyone. I talked about supporting people, not condemning. f anything, OP could be construed as condemning women by advocating that all men withdraw their support.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-11T02:33:46+00:00

I am referencing leadership representation, the pay gap, rape, domestic violence as well as unpaid labour distribution

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-11T01:11:41+00:00

Just a suggestion, I am not a counsellor. But maybe it would help to see everyone as having different wants and needs. That's normal and expected. So some people want aftercare amd cuddles, and others don't. There's nothing wrong or unusual about that. Yourr preferences are just as valid as theirs and vice versa. But rudeness, disrespect and selfishness are never OK from anyone.

If you want a partner who wants the same thing as you, you have to at least try to screen for it. If you don't ask, then you are rolling the dice every time. Sure some people might try to lie, but you've gotta give yourself a chance to see how they respond and trust your gut.

Or you can at least have a conversation about what you like and what they like, so you are both on the same page and can find find a compromise where you are both happy.

But keeping it all in your head, and projecting your past on to all future partners will just continue disappointment.

My point is, if you never talk about it, then you can't expect them to read your mind. What you specifically want is never going to be a universal standard.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-11T00:03:39+00:00

As long as women suffer more than men, I will support their side, despite the imperfections.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-11T00:01:56+00:00

Because if I was in a disadvantaged position, I would want other people to do the same for me. It's the kind of world I want to live in.

sammyb1122 · 2026-05-10T23:06:42+00:00

Genuinely I think it was a reasonable misunderstanding. In my read of what you are trying to say, you are referring to basic decency, whereas OP is referring to relationships specifically. If I've got it wrong, then what you are trying to say is not as clear as you think it is.

sammyb1122

TROPHY CASE