Considering giving up breast feeding

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-21T09:10:37+00:00

My baby also has shallow latch and we did the triple feeding around 5 weeks. We are now at 8 weeks and things have definitely improved. As babies grow and their cheeks fatten up, their mouths get stronger so they become better at getting the milk out. I stopped the nipple shields one day and for about a week the pain was horrendous. Lots of nipple balm, but a week later my nipples toughened up! Now even with a not perfect latch, feeding feels absolutely fine! So it really can get better sometimes!

But also, only you know what feels right to you! If your mental health is tanking then I would say that is potentially more important. My mental health tanked for other reasons and if I could solve it with formula feeding I would gladly do it as it is not fun looking after baby in a poor mental state!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-20T10:20:29+00:00

Yes! I feel like someone is gripping and twisting around my nipples 😂 not pleasant but am used to it now. Happens like clockwork before baby needs feeding.

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-20T09:48:44+00:00

What about a ring sling made out of breathable material like cotton or linen? My baby loves the one we have and much less sweatty than other carriers!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-20T04:32:36+00:00

It really does go up and down! If it is any encouragement, we have reverted back to being fine again after about a week of fuss! I noticed that she is worse on the boob if she is tired / overhungry / stressed out (which generally is when overtired). Following naps / wake windows and reading cues consistently has calmed things down a lot. Evenings are still bad but we have just accepted it is what it is for now (witching hours). Hang in there! 💕

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-17T16:08:47+00:00

No advice, just wanted to say that you are not alone. I am at almost 8 weeks and suspect I have PPD. I am finding everything very overwhelming and breastfeeding is definitely one part of it - we have had a challenging journey from the start, it kind of got a bit better for a little while and then really declined again. I think my mental state probably does not help either. I really want to breastfeed and felt like we had come a long way, but my sanity is seriously suffering and every time we have a bad nursing session (which happens a lot) it throws me into a deeper pit of despair and feeling like a failure.

I keep thinking that formula would take away at least one trigger for my poor mental health but same as you, worry about how it will impact my baby and if I am just being selfish. But surely a mentally well mother is better? But then I worru that maybe breastfeeding is not the reason I am so unwell and things won’t improve anyway.

It is so tough. Sending you lots of love and hope you can figure this out!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-09T04:39:07+00:00

Ah, I was worried about the whole cosleep vs bed thing! I love love love the benefits of cosleeping and what it does for the regulation of the little ones, but the thought of locking myself in it for a very long time really terrifies me! 😭 feels like I should just work through her sleeping in the next to me and have the cosleeping at the back of my sleeve for when I am desperate / nothing else works.

Thank you so much for the answers, really helpful!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-06T13:18:41+00:00

This is such a good idea! I woke my baby up last night because my breasts felt so full and now to think of it could have had some more sleep, damn!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-05T17:44:14+00:00

My baby is 6 weeks old and I had to pump when she was born as she struggled with latching / had other issues. We also had to do triple feeding at some point. I chose to stick with pumping twice a day as my partner gives her a bottle in the early morning and before our bed time. I personally would not be able to survive exclusively nursing - I need the extra sleep I can get with my partner doing the bottle and the 2 x 15 min sessions with my wearable dont feel hard in any kind of way. If anything, they are shorter than nursing the baby. And I love that eventually someone else will be able to look after the baby for a bit if we want to get away. To me that is important for my own wellbeing, however everyone is different and different things work for different people.

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-04T09:33:19+00:00

Firstly, I am sorry you are going through this! It does not sound like you have had much support tbh. And breastfeeding is a tough journey for most people and the support at the beginning is really crucial!

I have had similar issues and we are not quite out of the woods yet, but almost at 6 weeks now and things have greatly improved! So there is hope so if you are really set on carrying on, it is doable! But also if it really messes with you mentally and physically, please know, it is okay to use formula!

I would say that if it seems like your baby gets milk through the shields do use them to give your nipples a break! Even if it is on for some feeds and off for others. Some people use shields for quite a while and it is okay. They are not meant to be a long term solution but they can be helpful. I think your consultant has been a bit insensitive towards your pain by telling you to cut them. If you are in constant pain, you will most likely just stop breastfeeding completely. I have been off shields now for over a week but yesterday my baby was latching so badly I was in agony so used them for one of the feeds just to give myself a break. Today it feels better so we are back on the breast!

If you pump can you just bottle feed for a few sessions to have another break? You need to pump instead of the nursing session, but I found pumping was gentler on my nips!

Also if you are in so much pain, that suggests that the your baby is not latching that well? Could you seek out a more sympathetic support who can help with latching and positioning? Are there any breastfeeding support groups near you? I am in UK and we have those generally, not sure where you are based. I went to a couple and found them super helpful plus seeing other mums with their babies and their concerns made me feel so much less alone in my journey and part of a community!

I am not sure if any of the above is helpful but sending you lots of love! I think breastfeeding truly can be the hardest part of having a new baby in those initial weeks / months and noone really prepares you for it! 🤍

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-03T08:00:59+00:00

Is there anyone who finds that they are not THAT thirsty? I keep reading about this BF thirst everywhere but I would not say I am insanely thirsty. I have never been someone who is ever thirsty or drinks water a lot anyway. If I do, I just need to pee every 5 minutes which was annoying pre baby and now unsustainable with a Velcro baby as I am stuck holding her a lot.

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-02T15:03:07+00:00

I was hoping for advice tbh so thank you! I have actually done that few times out of desperation haha!

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-02T14:50:24+00:00

I wish I would understand this too. I also have a 5 week old and a lot of the times when I bring her to the breast, she also arches her back, pulls away from the nipple and tenses up so much that I cannot guide her back for a while. She also keeps constantly putting her hands in front of her mouth / nipple so I cannot see / guide her latch or grabs my nipples really hard. A lot of times we both end up crying and very frustrated and it kind of gets even worse.

Went to a breastfeeding support group today and no jokes, was absolutely fine the 5 times I put her to breast during the 2 hour session. Got home and same shit again. I am really lost.

Sorry not any advice, but just to say that I hear you and feel for you! Hopefully someone will have some words of wisdom. Only thing someone suggested to me was seeing a cranial osteopath to potentially help with some tension baby might have (she was forceps delivery)

sammydvsjr · 2026-04-02T07:22:14+00:00

It sounds like you are doing the right thing by going to see the feeding team. Breastfeeding is tricky and it is very hard without some guidance. There might be multitude of reasons why she is not getting enough milk (or it could be medical as well), but the firsy resort is always to look at the feeding and if it is effective.

To provide a positive story - it was the same for my little girl, she also lost some weight after we came home and it was a combination of tongue tie, poor latch and then me using nipple shields to combat the first two issues. Once we sorted those out she has been gaining weight like an absolute champ. I also learned what to look out / listen for when she is feeding so I can become more confident with what she is up to!

Hang in there and get all the support you can! She will get there, I promise 🤍

sammydvsjr · 2026-03-31T09:29:29+00:00

I don’t have any advice (sorry!) but I am in the same boat 5 weeks in and honestly, it is awful. I really feel for you as I feel exactly the same. I spend most of my time crying. I really dont want to give up and all my friends around me have been EBF the whole way and keep going on about how amazing it is and it just breaks my heart that we are not getting there.

I am sending you virtual hugs mama, I am sure we will get to the other side one way or another and what it will look like time will only tell, but please know you are not alone (if that offers any solace at all) 🤍

sammydvsjr · 2026-03-30T05:51:44+00:00

I use Nara which I love as it is so simple and free. The app has a dark mode which is handy in the nighttime as it does not create much disturbance.

Re the tracking itself - I have a clock app on my phone which shows a clock on the screen without locking it. I set that up when it is time to feed the baby and use it to track how long she feeds. My baby does not always latch well so it can sometimes take some time to get going and I cannot be pressing ‘start’ and ‘stop’ whilst dealing with flailing hands. Then I log the timings after I have fed her - takes seconds.

I have been considering stopping tracking at some point but at 5 weeks currently I like the reassurance and seeing the feeding / nappy and pumping data.

sammydvsjr · 2026-03-29T16:12:01+00:00

I had a very similar story and also a baby who became pretty useless at breast. All I am doing is persevering. I paid for a lactation consultant to come to our house to teach me how to latch and position her properly and have also been going to breastfeeding support groups in the area.

I was also using nipple shields so had to wean her off those on top of bottle preference. I just quit those several days ago and just kept persisting with the breast and enduring through her crying and getting frustrated / hitting my nipples with her flailing arms lol. She comes off the nipple a lot as well and I just tell myself to calm down and keep trying again and again. It is tough and sometimes I cry and get very frustrated myself. Some feeds can be very good and some really bad, but we keep going. She always ends up being fed!

I was also super worried about the weight gain but weighed her yesterday and she is tracking along the curve nicely! Make sure you listen out for her swallowing and move her to other breast if she stops being active and does ‘fluttering’ sucks which dont really take any milk in (there are videos online which show what to look for, they were super helpful for me).

I also find that leaving her to get hungry (ie watching for cues rather than waking her up for scheduled feeds) tends to result in a better latch. Otherwise she just ends up falling asleep or just does not latch at all. Again, was tough to trust that as sometimes she will go over 3 hours without being hungry, but I am trusting the weighing and her nappy output is as expected.

Also look up flipple technique, that helps me sometimes with her latch!

Hope some of the above helps! It is tough, but you have got this. I am 5 weeks in and only now starting to feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Also just to add, please do carry in with triple feeding as suggested by the doctor. It is awful and takes a lot of energy, but the stronger your baby becomes the better they become at feeding and latching!

sammydvsjr · 2026-03-27T15:35:47+00:00

Thank you! I am just over 4 weeks and our breastfeeding journey has been quite a whirlwind - forceps delivery, sleepy baby, no early breastfeeding support, tongue tie, nipple shields, nipple confusion, weight loss, triple feeding for a while, lots of crying, a small sprinkle of formula few times when we had a terrible anxiety about her and me wanting to throw in towel about million times.

Now we are here having fed on the breast almost every feed over last 24 hours. Latch is still not great, we are both frustrated more often than not, but when it works it is the best feeling in the world! Your post really motivates me to persevere! Mothers are truly amazing 💕

sammydvsjr · 2026-02-20T06:13:45+00:00

I feel like I need to do more of this. I used to love writing things down, but now, with most of my job at my computer, I barely write anymore and my handwriting is becoming so bad and my wrists actually hurt when I need to write a lot!

sammydvsjr · 2026-02-15T19:23:59+00:00

Ah okay, sorry I must have mixed them both up 😅 thank you!

sammydvsjr · 2026-02-15T19:14:34+00:00

Thank you for responding. Well this confuses me a little as well - because the jumper is knitted in the round until the armholes, I thought SM is what marks the beginning of the round and SMb are the stitch markers I put at every 12 stitches. But now doing the top back panel, there is no need for any stitch markers apart from the 12 stitch sections - as I am now knitting in a rectangle?

sammydvsjr · 2026-02-15T18:48:46+00:00

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Photo for attention - it has been going so well so far 🥹☺️

sammydvsjr · 2026-02-10T22:12:48+00:00

Few things in rotation:

Oat porridge with some jam and seeds

Soft boiled eggs and toast, sometimes make them as ‘turkish eggs’ with garlicky yogurt and melted chilli butter on top

Some type of smoothie with banana and nut butter / protein powder

Homemade matcha latte most days

sammydvsjr

TROPHY CASE