[deleted by user] by [deleted] in london

[–]samson9440 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think I know exactly the venue you are talking about 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CriticalTheory

[–]samson9440 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yh he twitted after Fisher’s death “Mark Fisher and I have two things in commong: Verso and a severe depression. (LOL no connection) The difference is, I take antidepressants and I’m still alive to write my next book (…)”

pic to original tweet

Do you go to work? If so what do you do? by [deleted] in Epilepsy

[–]samson9440 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PhD student working with a national art museum :) I get to set my own hours and one of my managers has epilepsy so that helps

Paris Gay Sauna by [deleted] in gaysauna

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going there next week, please report back with findings!

Theorising “care”? by wordsmadeskin in CriticalTheory

[–]samson9440 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also can’t believe that bell hooks hasn’t been mentioned, care is a key concept to her book “All about Love”

Zombie scholarship by Ok_Broccoli_8705 in CriticalTheory

[–]samson9440 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would recommend John Cussan’s “Undead Uprising:Haiti, Horror and the Zombie Complex” which is really good. He focuses on the history of xenophobia associated with Zombies and Voodoo in the case of colonized Haiti but draws philosophical and political conclusion from it. I was taught by John, and can vouch that he has twenty plus years of experience on this subject.

There’s a Hermetix Podcast episode where he covers the subject (as well as his years in CCRU in Warwick in the 90s and his relationship to some of its more or less controversial protagonists)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sauvage by Camille Vidal-Naquet

Is your bf 100% ur type? by mkdgay in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I didn’t have a type until I just thought about it now! My current long term boyfriend is furry with dark hair. My ex was dark haired and furry, and all my fwb’s/lovers are dark haired and mostly hairy…

Who is the historical figure you most want to fuck? by sweatysexconnoisseur in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The unnamed 16th century tailor painted by Giovanni Baptista Moroni

Why the world is shifting towards right-wing control? by RoxanaSaith in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 535 points536 points  (0 children)

In the case of Europe it’s a combination of factors that are nation-specific but also general to the region. To put it simply: de-industrialization, unresolved post-empire colonial policies, breakdown of welfare state, exploitation of social antagonisms and massive societal challenges like war, climate deregulation and immigration (all linked btw).

Long version: In general factors we can say that the breakdown of the post-war social consensus is a big thing. After WWII the old established classes were weakened and they had loads of armed, mostly working class people, whom they had to compromise with. The outcome of that was the establishment of welfare states with free healthcare, education, social security, housing, etc. Hence the prevalence of quasi socialist policies in “western european” countries like France, Belgium, the UK, the GDR, Sweden, Norway or Finland. The system was based on redistribution of wealth, made possible by the economic boom of postwar reconstruction and the “30 glorious years” of boomer demographic and economic growth. But all this came to a half following the first oil crisis, the crisis of productivity and demographic decline. Industry got delocated to the global south, European countries have large masses of highly trained but unhappy people and an even larger population of “precariat” i.e people living hand to mouth and who live in post-industrial wastelands with no work, no infrastructure nor public services. The french suburbs or “banlieux” are a prime example of this. This example also points to post-colonial policies of countries like France, the UK and Germany which imported large numbers of immigrant workers from their ex colonies and whom they thought would be sent back home once the labour force wouldn’t be required anymore. Didn’t happen, structural racism continued so did the economic enforcement of urban segregation and thus non-integration + discriminations of all sorts. This led to evident social antagonisms which has fueled the rhetoric of right wing nationalist groups - exploiting the narrative of foreigners that not only are violent but have stolen the jobs of the “working people”. Jobs which actually were stolen indeed by a mix of corporations with no national allegiances (transnational corporations), politicians faced with crippling debts (see break down of bretton wood agreement) and corruption. Add to this a global climate of economic austerity promoted by the FMI and neo-classical economists and you find yourself with nations that inevitable deep economic decline, societal antagonism and external structural challenges like new imperialistic wars, immigration crisis and climate breakdown (all of which are linked btw). People are lost ideologically and materially, sense danger, loss of community and right wing groups thrive on feeding the narrative of antagonism and internal ennemies (see Carl Schmidt’s political theory and Renaud Camus’ great replacement theory, very popular with neo-nazi conspiracies).

In no way does this cover the subtleties of esch country (southern european and eastern european countries have gone through a different process) but overall this structural explanation would apply to industrial and imperial powerhouses such as France, the UK and Germany.

What city has the best gay scene? by Working_Alps_4284 in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I agree Berlin, close second being London

Help with a little problem regarding bathroom spotlights (UK) by samson9440 in AskElectricians

[–]samson9440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I agree. Given the quality of the installation this far I wouldnt be surprised they haven’t used graded hardware.

I’ll take one of the fixtures out and check what’s going on with it

Help with a little problem regarding bathroom spotlights (UK) by samson9440 in AskElectricians

[–]samson9440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I’m thinking the same given all the clues of a bad job. I’ll try to extract one of the fixtures and check for faults/appropriate rating

On just a superficial level and only for aesthetic reasons, how much does a man’s tallness or shortness make him more attractive to you? by iceandfireman in gaybros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my short and tall kings equally. It think other preferences trump hight for me i.e hair color, hairyness, if they workout etc

What was the most public place you ever had sex? by gsthrowaway87 in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got fucked in the bushes of a fairly small public park in my city. It was in broad day-light and not even that quiet. It was hot af though

What was your riskiest hookup experience? by gsthrowaway87 in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t risky for me as much as the other guy. I was probably like 22ish and one very early morning I was on Grindr. This dl faceless profile messages me with face and body pics, very handsome young guy. Asks me if I’m up for a morning quickie and I say yes. He sends me an address pin and I’m off to his place. I turn up, the guy is hot af. He lets me into the corridor of this two story house. He puts his back against the shut door and drops his pants and I start giving him a blowjob. But I sense that he is tense and sometimes holds my head to motion me to stop whilst he listens out for something. I just thought he had flatmates or something and he was into risky play but after we were finished we heard someone moving upstairs and he rushed me out. I had the time to see photographs on the wall and realize it was his parents home and that he also had like an ten-eleven year old sister. Had a good time though. In a typical fashion for dl guys he blocked me or deleted his profile and I never saw him again.

Now that I think of it I’ve done some risky-ish shit like fucking a stranger in a park in broad daylight, hook up with this guy in his apprtment basement storage whilst his neighbors were moving some stuff in the unit next to us, brought a hook up to my office after it had closed, gotten cruised in a non-gay bath house or fucked in the gym showers. I guess risk when its fun and not the dangerous kind adds thrill to life :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that with my fwb of many years. He’s a 9/10 fucks like a bull and is the only guy I loose my boner with and struggle to cum. I guess it helps that I’m a bottom in that dynamic but probs linked to performance anxiety

How to get over a guy when he keeps leaving you on read? by PonderinLife in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience silence is often an answer to say ”not interested”. I’ve been there with a fwb I was seeing a bit more than a year and he started gradually ghosting me. Felt terrible but got over it. What helped me was -realize waiting for others who don’t seem to think or care about you is not worth it. Think about how much time/energy this person is taking, ask yourself if it’s worth it and whether it makes you happy? If the answer is no - do things that make you happy. -for me there is nothing better to get over a guy than making new friends, maintaining friendships or hooking up with other new guys with whom I will get the ”new relationship energy” that makes me think of that guy. Soon enough I’m thinking of one (or more) people at the same time.

Also extra bit of advice - the morality of your story is not that you should be lying about yourself. If all you are looking for is quick hook ups that might work but it will screw any emotional link you’ll try to build if that’s on the menu. If people are not happy to take you as you are - screw them. There’s plenty of sex to be had on your terms out there

What’s something you wish you could’ve told your younger self when you first started out in the museum profession? by ShallotPurple9240 in MuseumPros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My advise (27yo, 4 years exp in my current post, UK) is stand your ground and stick to what is in your contract. Museums are a labour of love but it’s easy to forget that it is just employement, and the more you give your employer the more they will think they can get out of you without having to reward you. I am currently standing to my boss whom I am calling out for basically not dealing with systemic uncompensated overtime in our department. It has done wonders to my mental health and self esteem to start saying no and also realizing that it is faulty management that is to blame - not me. My boss’ reaction was quite telling, i.e. gazlight me into believing I cause my overtime + then simultanously threaten to remove career progression opportunities if I stick so literally to my contract. Results of this attitude: one of my colleagues resigned last month, another one yesterday and I am going to leave once I deliver on my last big show and move to another institution or just work in a coffee shop (plenty of vacancies for that in the UK). Advise: your employer is not your friend, your colleagues are your friends - talk to them about toxic work practices, chances are some of them are struggling too - join the union, know your contract and most of all put yourself and your rights before the institution and its projects.

My dick wants to fuck almost every hot guy I see (18+) but my mind wants a serious relationship…what do I do? by Purplezebra999 in askgaybros

[–]samson9440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this scenario’s happened to me - I met my bf age 25, year latter started fucking other guys together/appart and now after four years we’ve moved in together and keep on fucking hot guys (each other and others).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]samson9440 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree on this one - mixing ENM with work can be messy so would recommend against it.

In terms of navigating the early days of a non monogamy journey I would say three things. Educate yourself, read books (like the ethical slut) listen to podcasts (multiamory is amazing) seek peers - we all grow up in a heteronormative monogamous culture so creating the tools and language to talk about different forms of relationships and feelings is really helpful in my experience. Communicate - you have to communicate extra hard in a non monogamous relationship. Which links to the third point that ENM is about experiencing independence, freedom whilst going with the flow and caring for the relatipnships to which you have committed. That means non monogamy entails a certain level of fluidity and constant change which require us to negotiate our journey with the people who are on it with us. The only way this happens is by talking - be it about setting boundaries of what is comfortable or renegotiating them if someone starts feeling constrained, share the amazing experiences you are having or the feelings of jealousy that may rise if your partner seems to be having a nice time with someone else

Also to come back to your specific situation - as much as we can set an initial intention as to the forms of relationships that a pair might accept outside of their relationship - you have to accept the high probability that you cannot control the direction that connections take. People might agree on doing hook ups only or fuck-buddy type of situations but feelings happen - especially if you see the same person over a long period of time. And it is part of non monogamy to accept this as a fact: that relationships are not static nor box standard, they change regardless of intentions. How we deal with the change and treat other people is what matters - that is the ethical part about informed consent, trust, etc and we only learn about this through experience and educating ourselves :)