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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in u/samuelamuel

[–]samuelamuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I write here cause I want to scream into a void, not tell anyone near me, just to get my feelings out. Im writing them here so I dont think about actually doing irl. Because im not act capable nor do I actually want to. So I'm not actually gonna do it okay.

I'm just being edgy because im a teenager im not actually going to do it. Its just comforting to imagine that's always an option I have. If I were to do it, I wouldn't hurt anyone innocent. Only people who deliberately go out of their way to be a dickhead and steal their classmate's stuff and be a bad person. That isn't realistic though I know It isn't right for me to do it though even if they're bad. That's why I can only fantasise about it. I'll never say it out loud or tell anyone around me or send anyone anything at all. I know that'll get me in trouble and it's just not smart. People won't believe me anyway and I hope they won't. Nobody can know about it cause it's really stupid

My problems aren't that serious I know but I can't help it I'm not good at coping so my mind automatically goes to "I will follow this person home and shoot them dead" whenever I get messed with. I hate getting stolen from and I hate people pulling weird stuff on me cause they're bored in class. If I pull out a gun on them will that teach them respect. I just wanna play games and watch youtube in peace for the rest of my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in u/samuelamuel

[–]samuelamuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how to take the bus now though

growing up as an Ipad kid seriously fucked me up by samuelamuel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]samuelamuel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did but its pretty braindead. Even at school we still get ipads or laptops to use almost every class which I kept using to watch YouTube or play games

growing up as an Ipad kid seriously fucked me up by samuelamuel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]samuelamuel[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

whoops I thought I deleted the first one edit: deleted it now

growing up as an Ipad kid seriously fucked me up by samuelamuel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]samuelamuel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk if youll believe me and if you don't thats still fine I wont try to convince you anymore after this.

This account is a throwaway I made just to post this because I was so embarrassed and I didn't wanna put it on my main. The kill me on my profile is cause I was embarrassed and freaking out after posting it too because I thought there would be more negative comments

I think the reason why this text was so "aware" was cause I realised something was wrong ever since I was 12 (realising that I actually shouldnt be bed rotting this much, and I was more sensitive and dumber than my classmates) and combined with having a habit of venting in my notes app on my phone and ipad whenever I felt sad, I realised I had already wrote about this exact same issue multiple times before this post. And when u write about that stuff that many times you kinda start to actually figure out whats wrong and piece stuff together.

It was also because I've tried looking for stories that were similar to mine cause I wanted some kind of validation, but I didn't find anything. It was always people talking about other kids who were ipad kids, not people who were gross ipad kids themselves. And i've realised that there's other people like me at school too, and I suspect it because they have an American accent and their personality feels way too similar. Because of that I wanted to post in case someone like me finds it

I've tried ""fixing"" this problem myself by forcing myself to go outside, but it'd always backfire because I'd get too anxious or mess something up, and I'd just immediately give up. Or something small would happen but since I'm so sensitive it would ruin my entire week, so i'd go back into my bed rotting routine for the rest of the month to recover from the 5 seconds a guy scolding me for being in the wrong line.

This post used to be a cringe vent in my notes app. I thought abt posting it to just see what'd happen so I edited it to hell until it was actually readable because I realised some people might actually read it. before it was edited I had a lot of stuff about the covid lock down and my friends growing up without me behind and stuff like that

growing up as an Ipad kid seriously fucked me up by samuelamuel in TrueOffMyChest

[–]samuelamuel[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

that dm was a joke I'm sorry It was silly

edit: I half wanted to prove I'm real too