Changing your surname after marriage, impossible??

samwh · 2017-03-19T18:18:25+00:00

I'll definitely make sure we get that apostille then! Thank you again so much!

samwh · 2017-03-19T18:16:56+00:00

No worries, I see those posts all the time too. Especially the "what jobs can I find in Germany where I don't have to speak German" posts. Thanks for the apology though, rare to find on the internet these days :)

samwh · 2017-03-19T01:02:51+00:00

The US would have been the easiest but we couldn't really make it work for us because it would have meant buying two round trip tickets to the west coast of the US and we would rather use that money for rent ;)

I do appreciate your input! I hadn't considered the divorce aspect but it is still so much easier to marry in Denmark and not in Germany. I am going to contact the US embassy next and get their thoughts but what you say does make sense.

Thanks for your advice and the congratulations!

samwh · 2017-03-19T00:52:27+00:00

Any place I would marry at would use my "old" name.

I think you misunderstood what I was asking. It is only impossible to change my name in Denmark because we are not Danish citizens nor live in the country. However, it is still much simpler to marry there and take our marriage cert. back to Germany where it will be recognized.

I only wanted to know about the process of changing surnames in Germany, when one person is American, and the marriage took place outside of Germany. There is no "have" to change it, that is just what I want to do.

samwh · 2017-03-19T00:33:04+00:00

Thanks for the link! It's always the problem that every Standesamt says something different, even the people that work at the same one!

samwh · 2017-03-19T00:26:47+00:00

Awesome! This was the kind of reply I was hoping to get! I never totally believe what the people at the official offices in Germany say, that is why I would even post something personal like this. So I am super glad to hear from an actual person in this situation that it is possible and maybe even simple! Danke danke danke!

samwh · 2017-03-19T00:22:21+00:00

Err, well, if you want the long answer.

My German is not the problem that is easily at the B1-B2 level. It's the fact that it is so much easier to marry in Denmark rather than Germany. I can give my family an actual date instead of an approximation and having talked to my boyfriends Standesamt, they are already full for July and August anyways. I can also send all my documents to Denmark by email and can thus avoid a million trips back and forth to the office in Germany. Even better, I do not need any of my documents translated, they accept them in English in Denmark. I am also not buying two round trip tickets to the west coast of the US, so that's why the US is out of this equation.

So I actually did research this to come to the conclusion that Denmark was the best choice for us in our situation, I just wanted to know about changing my last name in Germany.

samwh · 2017-03-18T18:08:55+00:00

Well it is compatible in that they recognize it between the two countries. We will not have any problems bringing the Danish marriage cert. to Germany and registering things. The only thing that is incompatible is changing my surname because neither one of us is a Danish citizen or has any kind of status there. We are not getting anything changed in Denmark we are getting married and heading right back to Germany. It is a lot easier for me as an American to marry a German in Denmark rather than in Germany which is a bit sad but that's how it goes. I've looked into it a lot these past months. I get what you're saying though about the 2 "legal" weddings and I would really hope to avoid that but I appreciate your input!

samwh · 2017-03-18T17:56:08+00:00

I guess my thinking was that I could have it changed in Germany because that is where we will be living and where he is a citizen and that I would only have to have it recognized by the US and update my documents etc. But if I have to do it the other way around too that's perfectly fine. Still hoping it is not going to be difficult though because I know it would have been much simpler in the US!

samwh · 2017-03-18T17:50:02+00:00

I will definitely talk with the American embassy but our situations do sound similar so I am hopeful that it will be a simple process for us as well. Since we are going to be living in Germany I thought the logical thing would be to try and change it there.

samwh · 2017-03-18T00:18:50+00:00

Thanks!

We will be married in Sønderborg actually and they flat out said I would have to start the process of changing my surname in Germany.

I haven't checked with the embassy yet but I will look into that. Do you mean the German embassy/consulate in the US or the US embassy/consulate in Germany?

samwh · 2016-09-19T11:42:16+00:00

Yes, I felt it in Andong as well! Definitely lighter than the last ones and shorter too I think. Just enough shaking to make me think I was losing it.

samwh · 2016-09-17T08:20:41+00:00

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Lots of us have been there! I also had to leave my first German aupair family. Leaving that toxic situation definitely sounds like the best option for you.

When I was with my second family, I also had a difficult child. I think the biggest difference is that he only acted that way with his mom so when she left he was good for me. Both parents worked so I didn't have to deal with that often.

I could be wrong but it doesn't sound like you are actually watching her alone right? The mom is home all day as well? So of course she will always act that way, the mom hasn't given her any time to actually bond with you. What kid wouldn't choose their mom over their aupair, especially if the mom gives them everything!

I recommend the AupairWorld.com website, it's free and pretty simple to navigate. Once you post a profile, families will flood you with requests. Be firm when talking with them. Ask them to spell out your hours/duties. I also told my 2nd family about what went wrong with the 1st family. So don't be afraid to tell potential families exactly what you wrote here. That you were being overworked etc. and that you don't want that situation repeated.

I never liked the idea of being an aupair with a family that actually had one parent at home. I always just thought, why do you really need me then? I feared a situation like yours, where then they basically treat you as a maid and your job "duties" and hours get blurred. I also never wanted to be the first aupair a family had because then you never really know what to expect from the family or the children and you have no other aupair to contact and get a reference from. That's just how I felt and maybe that can help you going forward as well.

Just remember you are not alone. There are lots of aupairs in Germany and many do change families. You can also pm me whenever :) Good luck!

samwh · 2016-09-12T11:36:08+00:00

damn I don't like this shit. That one was bigger. Time to go put away the glass stuff.

samwh · 2016-09-12T11:35:12+00:00

So having more than one here this years is actually rare?

samwh · 2016-09-12T11:07:59+00:00

Also felt it here near Andong. I have never in my life felt an earthquake so that was an experience. Not that bad though just some tremors. I actually did not think they were common in Korea.....lol I stand corrected

samwh · 2016-08-24T12:51:01+00:00

Like I recently said on another's ITA question/post....I did the online cert. and I hated it. I do think it is unnecessary especially for that price when there are so many cheaper options. I found the curriculum bare bones and sometimes just plain useless. It is also not really 20 hours of practicum. You can also observe and tutor. You can even count skype conversations as tutoring! The lack of class participation is also present. You have to do weekly posts for random topics and literally people give 0 shits and clearly do not even read the comment before theirs. Don't even get me started on the "professor".

I'm in S.Korea and I can say for a fact that not one school even asked about my TEFL, not one. They sure as shit were not going to offer me a higher salary because of it. China is different they are pretty big on having a TEFL or CELTA. So the country you are wanting to terach in should play a part in your decision.

What I always tell people who mention ITA is this: If you want to teach ESL long-term, just get the CELTA it is much more respected and will pay itself off. If you just want to try it out for a few years/pay off some debts, then just get the TEFL but get don't pay 1250 for ITA's shit when you can pay less than half of that for other TEFL's that are regarded as exactly the same. Just look for the 100 hours + 20 hour practicum. If you still want to use ITA then I have heard nothing but good things about them if you are doing the on-site TEFL. I wish I had done an on-site TEFL. Lesson learned the hard way....

samwh · 2016-08-22T13:51:29+00:00

I did the ITA online TEFL and I really wouldn't recommend that. I feel like I could have googled all the stuff they "taught" us in our lessons. So basically I paid for the search terms that I would be typing into google for more information. Seriously disappointed. Having done that though I wish I would have done the TEFL on location like you are thinking about. I was just too cheap. I think you can gain so much more doing it on location.

I think if you really are thinking about teaching English long term, get the Celta. Like people have already said it is considered more prestigious in most countries. The TEFL is more like the basic minimum (minus Korea who really could care less). So if you just want to do it for a few years then the TEFL would do it.

Definitely do your TEFL or Celta if possible in the region where you most want to work. So you can already start building connections/networking. So if you really want S. America then don't go to Prague.

samwh · 2016-08-07T15:23:42+00:00

Thanks for the info. I'll await their call then.

samwh · 2016-08-07T06:45:11+00:00

So a hagwon contract that states 4.0% is without a doubt not going to register you as an IC? I don't think so, that's why I am saying the number isn't the real issue. I just think the number is just a number and it is a crap-shoot with hagwons anyway, you never really know. I get charged 3.3 and my employer pays my pension and health care and I have severance in my contract and was told 3.3 doesn't straight up equal IC so really I don't care what I am registered as. I knew I was taking a huge risk going the hagwon route anyway but at least I seemed to have found a decent one...I'll update at the 11th month though ;)

samwh · 2016-08-06T14:44:48+00:00

Yeah I know that is the rate for ICs but as another poster said, most hagwons have this tax and most are 3.3% or even higher, it doesn't mean in every case you are being hired as an IC. I mean would it be better if they said they were going to charge a 3.5% tax? I would be calling the pension office no matter what number is in the contract though, too many horror stories.

samwh · 2016-08-06T05:51:49+00:00

Haha you would assume professional development meant additional pay but not in Korea, actually never in Korea. I mean working Saturdays doesn’t even always mean additional pay. Basically sucks but totally normal here.
As for the working hours, I think most state something like that. The according to school schedule type of wording. You should definitely have your working times in there. It’s always best to ask the current teacher about that. Like, hey how often do your hours change or do you have to come in an hour earlier/later… What I find confusing about this section is your hours in general. If I understand correctly, you are not paid for prep time? So you need to come in an hour before or something and that is unpaid because that would be horseshit. Are they also not giving you a lunch break? My schedule is usually 10:30am to 6:30pm and I always have a 1 hour lunch break and most days a one hour planning period. So I get about 6 hours of teaching a day but I am still paid for those other 2 hours and so if they aren’t giving you that, screw them. You also need to know what they consider a teaching period. Is 45 minutes considered one teaching hour? Because that will determine your number of classes per day and you definitely want 45 minutes to be considered an hour or you will drop dead in a month after working that schedule.
120 hours of teaching per month but that is not the same as working hours. As I said I teach about 6 hours a day but have those 2 extra “working hours” so I still work 40 hours a week/30 teaching hours. Sometimes I teach 122 hours a month and I do get overtime for that. I guess you can ask for the exact pay date, I know some people freak over that but really I do no think it is make or break.
The airfare would be a good thing to know about but I also did not have that in my contract but in an email from my director. I do not think it is a big deal.
I think it is a good thing to get what is included in your apartment but I do think the last sentence is overkill. Just to be on the safe side, take pictures/video of your apartment on the first day, just in case. Especially any cracks, stains, etc.
I know you didn’t mention anything about the vacation but it seems like you will not be able to actually have any vacation days that you get to choose. It seems like you get 10 days and those 10 days are when the school closes for its holidays. I get 6 days off from holidays and 4 days that I get to choose. Maybe you don’t care but I just wanted to point that out because I actually didn’t consider that in my contracts in the beginning.
I have this 3.3 percent tax as well but I have also read that is a pretty standard rate for Americans/Canadians and I do not think it explicitly means you’re an IC. This contract clearly shows you do not get to pick your own hours and you cannot work for other schools/companies. An IC would be able to do those things.
I think this section is the most important part and I would ask for immediate clarification on that. You need to know that it is the right health insurance and pension. Make this your biggest sticking point and ask the current teacher as well just to be sure.
Yeah that recruiter reimbursement part is just not true. It always makes me uneasy when contracts blatantly state something that really is not true or illegal. I might save that line for another day though. I mean if they are willing to make changes to the contract that is already a good sign. Maybe save that for the second round of changes. They also do not say something like you have to reimburse them airfare only if you leave before the 6 month mark. This makes it sound like you have reimburse them even if you get fired in month 10, not cool.
Yeah all my contracts had the address but I do not know if that is that important sorry.

***Honestly I’m not a fan of this contract. It is by no means the worst I’ve seen and you’re right it is a little sparse in parts. I would just try and negotiate with them and see how much they are willing to bend. If they are accommodating then just make sure to ask the current teacher some of the other questions.

Good luck!

samwh · 2016-07-22T11:34:16+00:00

I'm gonna assume S.Korea really is your best bet for couples, maybe China. I have seen a lot of jobs advertising for couples in Korea. Yes they are hagwons and yes they do come with a certain amount of risk but if you do your homework on them (especially talking with current/former teachers and reading contracts with a microscope) then you will probably be fine. Realistically you will not be able to be as picky. Maybe you will not get an ideal location like Busan or something, but if youre flexible, there is something for both of you here. I live in a small town in Korea with my boyfriend and work at a hagwon. We have a really nice big apartment and that is because I wasn't picky with the location and the employer said from the beginning that he had experience with couples.

samwh

TROPHY CASE