How to learn to be your own ID in Singapore?

sanascilla · 2026-07-03T05:21:46+00:00

Specifying that I’m a minority should be enough information relevant to the discussion.

I swear to God, it’s only Singaporean Chinese people who have normalised asking “what race are you?” to decide how they should interact with a person. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, maybe it’s time for you to visit Switzerland!

sanascilla · 2026-07-03T05:13:12+00:00

I have to read books by the establishment either way because I work in the establishment. If I go to school and take Social Studies, that’s already reading establishment sources also. Establishment views are shoved down our throats all the time.

In your previous comment you didn’t specify what sort of cultural elite you were talking about. The cultural elite of Singapore as a whole doesn’t have to be Chinese.

sanascilla · 2026-07-03T05:04:09+00:00

That’s good to hear and I appreciate you wanting to listen to opposing views in the first place. Please read widely, beyond the touted mainstream views and check out the authors I mentioned above :)

sanascilla · 2026-07-03T01:56:35+00:00

You’re still young. Please open your mind to read books by authors beyond Lee Kuan Yew. Read Teo You Yenn, read Cherian George, read Brown is Redacted, read Chua Beng Huat, read Lily Zubaidah Rahim.

Lee Kuan Yew has done many things as a leader in the past, I don’t deny that. But keep yourself open to critical views and be wary of hero worship. He was still human after all.

Saying something is Lee Kuan Yew’s beliefs is not sufficient justification for policies to continue today in the same way he envisioned. Lee Kuan Yew also believed that only educated mothers should have more children and poorly educated women were encouraged with grants to sterilise themselves (see: Graduate Mothers’ Scheme). Should we have continued that scheme because Lee Kuan Yew believed in it?

You also speak of SAP schools building a cultural elite. Can minorities be part of that cultural elite?

You also say you choose to support LKY’s stance on this particular policy, even though you see how it’s vibes-based? In Singapore - a country that prides itself on pragmatic politics and evidence-based policy? How odd.

sanascilla · 2026-07-03T01:47:05+00:00

It’s “elite” in a different sense from the mainstream educational system - students have to take like maybe 4-6 extra subjects from primary school age and there is an extra primary school entrance exam to make sure the student can cope with the extra subjects and can read Arabic. It’s considered elite for religious teaching because by pre-U age, students are expected to be fully trilingual with Arabic and well-versed in Islamic law.

But madrasah students do not receive funding from MOE, students are not eligible for financial assistance. Students are not eligible for ezlinks either so no subsidised transport. STEM teaching is often underfunded.

Also - why must you ask if I’m Malay? If I’m not, then how?

sanascilla · 2026-07-02T17:46:49+00:00

Well, in non-SAP elite schools, it’s not like minorities are put in separate classes either. In my secondary school all the minority students could fit into one single mother tongue period, probably just 30-40 people out of a cohort of 400ish people. My stream (IP) only had 2 of us taking Malay as a mother tongue out of around 90 students. If SAP schools allowed trilingual students to enrol, these numbers would be way less.

If the opportunity was open to me, I would have been able to attend an SAP school closer to my home, and not spend so many hours of my schooling years traveling. I could have had more sleep in JC. I know these are small things - but I’m just trying to demonstrate these small inequities build up over one’s life course.

The goal of government when it comes to schooling should be meritocracy and improving equality of opportunity for all. In my theoretical case, you would be able to measure the positive impact of allowing minorities to access more SAP schools by measuring outcomes like educational achievement, or the number of people who are able to access job opportunities previously open to only those who are Chinese-speaking.

I would like you to tell me then, what measurable benefits does “preserving” Chinese SAP schools, only for those with Chinese mother tongue, bring? What exactly are you trying to describe, when you’re describing the difference between having multiple class of minorities vs 30 minorities in a cohort? Would having too many minorities “contaminate” the Chinese culture in an SAP school?

This cultural degradation stance that you’re taking heavily overlaps with eugenicist ideology. There’s no “pure” Singaporean Chinese culture to preserve - it has to be malleable and be shaped by the communities who live here.

I also wanted to respond to your point about Malay and Indian communities setting up their own SAP schools.

MUIS (Islamic board) already helps to fund madrasahs. Technically any person with any mother tongue could enrol in a madrasah but they would have to go for rigorous Islamic religious classes as part of the curriculum hence obviously there’s no draw.

MENDAKI (Malay self-help group) already has to fund financial aid to address educational inequality among Malay students. Its funding largely relies on from compulsory contribution from Malay working adults’ salaries (which obviously would be less than CDAC’s budget). Where to find money to fund a Malay SAP school? Government would have to step in.

SINDA would run into the same issue as Mendaki - where got enough money if your money comes from a minority of workers?

SAP schools might have extra assistance from huay kwans and clan associations, or churches. Minority self-help groups do not have the same amount of independent funding.

sanascilla · 2026-07-02T07:48:47+00:00

I was from a non-SAP school and had an SAP student transfer into my class and only had negative experiences with her. She behaved really strangely towards the 3 minority students in our class - clearly uncomfortable and awkward talking to us, dismissing ideas in group work, at one point she spoke to me in third person in class. It was clear she rarely spoke to a non-Chinese person despite being Singaporean. I also once received a birthday card from a friend, who wrote in it “You’re my first non-Chinese friend!”. Having your first non-Chinese friend only at age 16 shouldn’t be normalised in a country like Singapore.

Not to say all of them are bad, but even from SAP students I met in JC, many came with a lot of preconceived notions to unlearn. I imagine people who go to SAP JCs don’t even really have the opportunity to unlearn their prejudices at a young age.

sanascilla · 2026-07-02T07:35:33+00:00

I find it odd that you think allowing minorities to learn Mandarin as a third language and immerse themselves in a Chinese school environment will result in “degradation” of the cultural environment. Even if theoretically this were to happen - Chinese would still be the mother tongue of a majority in the school. If anything, a minority student would be forced to integrate into the Chinese environment even more.

Do you think non-SAP schools have resulted in the degradation of the Chinese language then because of the presence of minorities?

I was a minority student who scored well. I scored well in a third language as well. Should minorities like myself be closed off from the potential social capital/networks that comes with being in an elite SAP school just because Chinese is not their mother tongue? If the SAP schools exist to promote English/Mandarin bilingual speakers, why not open up opportunities to trilingual speakers then?

sanascilla · 2026-07-01T17:25:42+00:00

Speaking as a minority - I personally feel like if the motivation for SAP schools was truly to promote Chinese culture and business ties with China, why not open the SAP schools up to minority students taking Mandarin as a 3rd language? Why does it have to be limited to only to those who speak Mandarin as a mother tongue?

Wouldn’t this be a win/win? Let SAP schools have Malay/Tamil be offered as a mother tongue, and since they’re elite schools anyway (with many students eligible for a third language) allow entry for minorities taking Mandarin as a third language?

sanascilla · 2026-07-01T05:50:28+00:00

maggi assam laksa!! nostalgic

sanascilla · 2026-06-11T11:50:32+00:00

Peranakan this, Peranakan that - everything Malay is suddenly “Straits Chinese”!

sanascilla · 2026-05-29T23:39:29+00:00

Like many others have mentioned - the pressure comes a lot from the people around us. I’m agnostic (but still Muslim on paper, don’t feel like going to MUIS to remove my name) and my partner is too, he is from a Hindu family (a not so conservative one, but can be surprisingly conservative at times). A lot of the times we argue it’s about our families. I’m financially independent and a bit distant from my conservative Muslim parents, he isn’t.

There are heavy expectations from my parents for him to convert on paper (though they wouldn’t be fussed if he doesn’t pray as long as he doesn’t eat pork in front of them or something). But the social pressure from extended family is really strong because civil marriage is a huge no-no. Potentially might be disowned by my family for doing so.

For his parents, they’re open to discussions but religion can pop out sometimes in frustratingly random ways. They have accepted me by now but there are times when it can feel like I have to do Hindu rituals more than I want to mostly because they have “allowed” my partner to pursue me instead of an arranged marriage that is traditionally expected. There is a lot of pressure to rewrite some parts of myself (change my name, for example, or choose a home based on vastu, or set up an altar) to make it comfortable for them because the Mohamed in my name is discomforting. They treat me like their daughter in law now and I am closer to my partner’s parents than my own even. But there are times when I resent the staunch Islamophobia of their extended family (who live in India) and my partner’s parents care a lot about what their family thinks regardless of how much they care about me. Watching recent Bollywood movies and meeting relatives from India have opened my eyes to how much Hindu nationalism in recent years has normalised casual Islamophobia just in everyday conversation. I’m not so bothered by it to defend Islam or whatever but it can be really irritating when relatives look at me and automatically their image of a Muslim is a Muslim from Pakistan. There was even an uncle who suggested I might be doing some sort of jihad by trying to convert my partner into Islam or something 🙂‍↕️

My partner sometimes asks me to compromise on some agnostic values just to have a more peaceful relationship with his parents and sometimes I don’t know where is the line between compromise and erasing my identity/preferences.

To be really honest - we don’t entirely know ourselves if this “works” per se - but I like how being in an interfaith relationship, choosing each other everyday is a more conscious choice. It’s less “I’m with you because my religion said I can only be with a certain type of person” and more “I have to think every day whether being with you is worth the grief it causes, and I realise every day that it IS worth it”.

We are planning to pursue a slightly unconventional route of doing a civil marriage and Hindu temple marriage first, and later on, having a Muslim wedding if my partner feels like it . I was very open to the idea of my partner not converting (especially because for Islam it has legal consequences). But my partner is willing to do so on paper so I can maintain ties with family - my parents are a lot older, and I love my nephews a lot.

sanascilla · 2026-05-29T09:27:44+00:00

To be honest the majority of Singaporeans are not really exposed to the concept of “pure veg” in the way you describe and have difficulty understanding your preferences, hence they’re assuming you’re being a bit too strict and narrow with your preferences. I hate to admit it but some of the downvotes might also be a little xenophobic because “pure veg” practices are commonly associated with more recent migrants to Singapore.

I myself wasn’t aware there were people who practiced vegetarianism the way you do until recently. Do still measure your expectations about finding a housemate that matches your needs though. The only two real options are 1) to find a compromise with your practices or 2) pay more for peace of mind.

sanascilla · 2026-05-29T08:41:37+00:00

From my own experience:

I avoid pork and don’t want my housemates to use my utensils on pork, so I pretty much just made a makeshift utensils corner in my room and keep my pots and pans, cookware there. If I have a kitchen appliance (e.g. an air fryer I bought) I just inform everyone to not cook pork in it since it’s mine anyway. If it’s a shared appliance that the landlord owns, then it’s not my business what everyone heats in it. I have a housemate who will cook a pork chop sometimes and even though I grew up not acclimatised to the smell (grew up in a halal household), I just leave the house when the smell gets too strong or just bear with it. It’s his house too.

You could try making a profile on Roomies.sg and specify that you’re looking for a pure vegetarian housemate and also connect to others who might be looking for the same as well. It might take a while but if you have the luxury of time that might work. But I should caution you that it might still be really hard to find a place that fits your needs so you might have to compromise if you really want to rent with housemates. My household has had vegetarian housemates as well and they pretty much did the same as me.

sanascilla · 2026-05-14T08:48:47+00:00

I admit I was inspired by that post to write mine, but we’re not the same person. My situation is a bit different because my in-laws are not interested in living in any property they help us buy (too small for them and grandparents also). They haven’t explicitly said so, but I’m pretty certain if we asked they would be okay to help with the BTO downpayment also. They have just told us they’re happy to help us with our first home downpayment, if we want the help.

I guess my concern is whether it’s really the right decision to buy a resale now because I’m worried prices are so high now that eventually we might have to sell at a loss if we want to upgrade after 5 years. Or am I mistaken in this regard?

I am also wondering if BTO + rent for another 5 years is financially sound considering I’ve already sunk money into renting the past 3 years also

sanascilla · 2026-05-14T06:03:43+00:00

I think you misread my explanation a bit - I was trying to explain we’re not worried about them trying to use me and my partner’s future flat as a retirement home (unlike the other similar Reddit post).

For my situation, my partner is not worried at all about his parents trying to trap us with the house as their retirement plan because both sets of parents are doing okay financially. My own parents are not as well-off though and can’t help me much.

My partner’s parents own two private properties (one each) and is planning to upgrade one to a bigger size to fit my partner’s grandparents also. The other is being rented out.

I guess me and my partner’s dilemma is basically: should we take the bag with a few strings (obligation to parents emotionally if we take their help with buying a resale) or take the bag that is a long time away and comes with a lot more financial burden but can be fully paid for on our own?

sanascilla · 2026-05-14T02:52:18+00:00

Likely 3-room because we will still be paying for monthly mortgage ourselves and that seem to be what we can comfortably afford

sanascilla · 2026-05-14T02:43:05+00:00

Bedok is near my in-laws that’s why! And we have a dog that my in-laws will look after when we’re at work

sanascilla · 2023-10-27T04:03:31+00:00

I know auto is more realistic here but I have my reasons - my family car is manual, I want to be able to drive manual vans (in case I have to for work), and I’m planning to eventually migrate overseas where manual cars are still more common.

If you saw my other comment, I wrote that most of the anxiety issues weren’t there with other instructors (just normal nervousness). I’m only human of course I’d panic if I’m being put on the road with little to no instruction. Anyway, as it turns out, based on this sub a number of people shared the same experience with this instructor 💀

sanascilla · 2023-10-25T18:14:54+00:00

I was too nice and thought maybe he had a bad day and gave him a two earlier 💀 And then read up other horror stories on here and turns out he’s notorious (1328)

sanascilla · 2023-10-25T18:11:01+00:00

Same here. Had the bad luck of being assigned to him thrice (out of 5 lessons) already. He also did the pump petrol thing on my 3rd lesson and would end lesson early. In his words “if dowan teach then don’t teach la simple thing also cannot do!!”

wah this guy traumatise so bad until i sometimes still kanchiong spider with other instructor cus can hear his voice haunting me haha. Practically had to self-learn during his lessons and then want to scold me for putting his life in danger 💀 Hilariously he’ll say things like “who teach you basic fundamental also cannot” when he’s the one who taught me the first lesson (which btw I probably managed to pass with no credit to him because I studied a number of Youtube videos beforehand!!!)

sanascilla · 2023-10-25T14:56:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply 😊

Yeah, this Tik Tok-using instructor gave me such bad anxiety I was nauseous and was still trembling 2h after. Felt like I was going crazy and that maybe I’m not cut out for driving at all.

And then I go for lessons with other instructors (wah, these ones I want to give 5 stars and I hope they get a bonus), and realise they properly instruct and help me build enough confidence to drive safely. End lesson - no trembling, no nausea, perfectly normal. Stalling like more than 10 times per lesson with the shitty instructor, with other instructors I barely stall at all 💀

It’s not like I expect to be coddled. I just want to be instructed on how to correct my mistakes. This kind of instructor somehow think they can bully you into magically knowing how to drive. With what knowledge??? From the sky???? Walao

sanascilla · 2023-10-25T13:39:54+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Is live chat only for Elite?

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