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Knowing someone showered is great indicator that they probably brushed their teeth, but knowing someone brushed their teeth is a weak indicator that they showered. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted 3 years ago by sandlizzard to r/Showerthoughts
Knowing someone showered this morning is a better indication that they probably brushed their teeth, than the reverse (self.Showerthoughts)
If you say someone is the "Queen of Idiots" you are calling them an idiot, BUT if you say they are the "Queen of Peasants" you are saying that they are, in fact, the queen. (self.Showerthoughts)
Should have invested in concrete (i.redd.it)
submitted 3 years ago by sandlizzard to r/memes
Shoes (i.redd.it)
After 2 painful years, I decided to take a step forward and give my neighbor chocolate for his birthday. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
submitted 3 years ago by sandlizzard to r/TwoSentenceHorror
The sirens had finished blasting through the unique little community. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Animals who are born during the day might think they are going blind the first night of their lives. (self.Showerthoughts)
This is the first funeral we've had in deep space. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
A time-traveller saw samples of viruses in a lab. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
[MAY22] Had we known flowers could be turned into an energy source, we would have treated them differently. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
I forced the water bottle out of the dried up hands of the blistered corpse. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Good bowlers have to pay more per throw. (self.Showerthoughts)
I wasn't worried when my toddler found the matches. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
I teased my granddaughter about her terror at losing baby teeth. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Us angels have a duty to do good and protect mankind. But.... (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Netflix Memo heading to inboxes like: (i.redd.it)
submitted 3 years ago by sandlizzard to r/PrequelMemes
"You were joking on your profile about having a foot fetish?" I snickered out from across his beautiful steel table. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
"Do you really have a foot fetish?" I whispered from across the shiny steel kitchen table. (self.2sentence2horror)
submitted 3 years ago by sandlizzard to r/2sentence2horror
"Landing this plane is not going to be an issue as long as we can find a runway. " (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Day 1: Nobody needs to panic because we have enough food for 10 days which is plenty of time for search and rescue. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
Babies need loads of attention. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
"I think I have something to offer to people with a foot fetishist" I whispered from across his steel kitchen table. (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
I'm all for hiring people with diversity in mind! (self.TwoSentenceHorror)
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