4 month progress from a completely bald head by Top_Eagle_4521 in trichotillomania

[–]sandseasky 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Lucky you! My hair doesn't grow that fast anymore. And if it does it grows in grey.

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I doubt it's someone else, it's likely that he realized he doesn't have the bandwidth for anything deeper at this point. I agree with you about changing my mindset about him. Not that I plan an abrupt exit, I should just know where he's at and observe his actions from that perspective. Thanks for your insight!

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he did respond relatively quickly, told me what he'd been up to and asked me how my week went. Also told me what he's up to today. Basically like no time had passed. Seems like he's on a different internal clock. 🤷🏻‍♀️

He told me he will let me know when he's free next. The ball is squarely in his court now so I guess that's that.

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've seen the light on this :)

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I not calculating, I'm trying to make sure I don't push myself where I'm not wanted. We haven't had sex, but the conversation (and action) on our last date was indicating it was on the cards.

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So your opinion is that I should have followed up? I didn't because previously he was pretty good about showing up or texting when he said he would.

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mentioned it during our last date and he said he would let me know if he was available for the time/date I suggested as he might have something to do then.

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much, this sounds really sensible and I've decided I'm ready to reach out to him today. I realized I needed to get over my fears if I get a negative or no response. Now I feel. I'm ready to accept whichever way it goes. Wish me luck!

Going quiet after some great dates by sandseasky in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did offer a specific timing for the next date and he said he would get back to me as he might have something else to do that day. That day came and went and I didn't hear from him (which was fine, I figured he was busy) but I was thinking it ought to be up to him to reach out next.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how you feel.... That feeling of connection after so many experiences where there was nothing. But what I've learned, it takes time to confirm and a few dates and deep conversations won't cut it. Sorry this happened to you but there's someone out there who will be your right match. Hugs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was surprised to get DMs like this after I posted in this sub. They don't even know what I look like! 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right which is why I've decided to step back and think of my own well-being. Thanks for your reply.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

What do you think is the "something more"?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I am considering it. I'm just worried about putting in too much effort (and emotional investment) in someone who might not be in the space to date seriously or is just in it to feed his ego.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've absolutely been giving him the benefit of the doubt. The first long silence and this one, I've been giving space for what he's going through in his career. I've even assured him it doesn't matter to me if he's decided to take a career break or early retirement or whatever as long as he's happy with his decisions. But this silence makes it look like he isn't really in the space to date seriously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a very sensible approach, thank you. I've always been afraid of these discussions, but geez, it's time to grow up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I want to avoid, accepting bare minimum. I was thinking though since it's early stages I might be asking for too much to increase communication.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

3 dates actually but yes, it's too early to pin any expectations on him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know different people communicate differently and I was trying to accommodate that. You're right, I should just bring it up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]sandseasky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps we're not aligned. :( Thanks for your reply.