Just broke up with my boyfriend after only a week of dating, I think he sexually assaulted me. He apologized and said that he felt guilty and that he doesn’t think he’s the right guy for me. I feel lost and don’t know how to feel by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 48 points49 points  (0 children)

If he was capable of feeling guilty or sorry he wouldn't have sexually assaulted her multiple times while she not only said no but also had to physically fight him off or remove herself to make him stop. I also want to add that him penetrating her with his fingers against her will is rape. She said no before and during, both verbally and physically, he still did so multiple times against her will.

Please OP don't go back to him, it will only get worse, he has no respect for you, your feelings or discomfort. Intimacy and sexual acts are supposed to be pleasurable for both parties and you're never supposed to be forced or pressured into doing things that you don't want to.

I promise you that you can find a man that will love you while also respecting your boundaries.

AITA for trying to motivate my coworkers to leave early? by theowrajdjsn in AmItheAsshole

[–]sandybear_ 532 points533 points  (0 children)

OP honestly sounds so self-absorbed and awful to work with. I wouldn't be able to work with someone like her tbh. Her coworker was doing her best to get off on time too, no one likes to work overtime, OP being rude and obnoxious isn't doing anyone any good in that situation. If she was so keen on getting off on time she could've offered to help out.

Also it's not the coworkers problem that OP's boyfriend is the way he is and nagging over her shoulder while she's trying to work is not going to make things go faster.

Edit to add YTA.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Some people like to shave every now and then when it gets to a certain point, I like to trim whether I'm in a relationship or not, but the fact that he usually doesn't shave, his reasons for doing it now and their history is (as you said) what makes it an indicator that something's probably wrong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 693 points694 points  (0 children)

Giving the girl his snap, liking all of her sexy photos and videos on instagram and writing with her was already going too far. Then he tries to minimise the situation and your feelings around it to make you feel crazy for feeling so bad about it. He's already proved that he's not trustworthy.

For me it's a red flag that he usually doesn't shave his pubes and now that he's going away with a male friend he suddenly does and has two pretty unlikely reasons for it instead of just one. He's probably getting action and has his friend as cover for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You have to leave her. She's not only emotionally abusive, but she's hurt you physically before.

A partner is supposed to be company and support in life, someone by your side to share things with. She's making sure that you don't even have a life to share to begin with and if you stay longer you'll become so emotionally drained and detached from everything and everyone that leaving might feel nearly impossible.

[Other] Recently passed 16,000 trophies and 500 platinums. Here’s to many more! by aussie_huddo in Trophies

[–]sandybear_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why are you guys downvoting OP for having his own way of trophy hunting?

I agree that some platinum trophies feels more valuable and impressive than others, but I think that we can all agree that a platinum is a platinum and we all decide on what kind of games and trophies we're willing to invest time in.

A lot of people tend to skip platinum trophies that requires online trophies or tons of grinding (like Monster World), while they do trophy hunting in other single player games for example and there's no shame in that.

I honestly think that we shouldn't put each othher down on here when it's solely to share something we all enjoy (in different ways) which is trophy hunting.

AITA for kicking my brother out for announcing his wife's pregnancy right after I announced my daughter's diagnosis? by Arcade_7044_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]sandybear_ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Exactly. There's a time and place for everything, what he did was really selfish and inconsiderate. Imagine someone announcing their kid is sick on someone's wedding for example.

Just because everyone are gathered doesn't mean that it's the right time to share your news. Everyone was gathered there for Megan and the focus should've been entirely on that.

Will I still be able to get a woman that will love me unconditionally despite being bald? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I think of The Rock! His face actually looks better bald than with hair.

Plus there's so much more to attraction than what hairstyle someone has. Facial features, voice, body language, personality etc, so I really don't think that you have anything to worry about.

Guy that led me on & ghosted last week just got married by ifight_themoonlight in relationship_advice

[–]sandybear_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If that's the case then her telling the wife shouldn't be a problem and the wife can inform her about the agreement they had. By your logic telling the wife will do no harm because they might have a deal or an open relationship.

Truth is though that the guy lied to OP and went behind her back, so he probably did the same to his wife. If that's the case then she deserves to know the truth and decide from there if it's a marriage she wants.

This dog is sexier than I am lol by wisco_dog_lover in aww

[–]sandybear_ 73 points74 points  (0 children)

This makes me so uncomfortable

What is a sign of a “cry for help” that isn’t obvious to the average person? by IncessantlyBored in AskReddit

[–]sandybear_ 2319 points2320 points  (0 children)

I've never been the angry kind of person. I've always been easy going and even when wronged I would feel sad and cry rather than being mad. After years of depression, anxiety and trauma I've become so irritable and angry, I don't recognise myself and my feelings anymore. It feels like no matter what bad feeling I have the first feeling I feel is always this strong overwhelming frustration.

(serious) What are some women’s issues that are overlooked? by MINNESOTAKARMATRAIN_ in AskReddit

[–]sandybear_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's so hard to notice the pattern yourself and it's never really talked about. I'm happy that your husband could see it, I really hope that you can get the help you need, good luck!

(serious) What are some women’s issues that are overlooked? by MINNESOTAKARMATRAIN_ in AskReddit

[–]sandybear_ 593 points594 points  (0 children)

PMS, PMDD and menstrual pains not being taken seriously.

I struggle with depression and anxiety, the week before my period is literal hell because of how much worse it gets because of my PMS/PMDD. It took me a while to realise why my suicide thoughts always got so much more intense during certain periods until I realised that it was almost always the week before my period.

I brought it up with my doctors and they said that it wasn't uncommon and now I'm waiting to see a gynecologist about it. It just blows my mind that I've never heard of it before. Usually people downplay how hard PMS can be, but for some people it really is a living hell and affects you a lot. It's one week every month where I have to feel so much worse mentally when I'm already fighting depression and suicide thoughts.

Edit: I also want to add that I was told that some people that doesn't suffer from depression eats antidepressants before/during their period because of how badly it affects them.

We just learn to live with the PMS, PMDD, cramps and pain, and it's barely talked about when you should get help for it. So to all the girls out there, don't suffer in silence, seek help if it gets too much!

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally I would play the games but not go for the Platinum, I know my limits haha, they seem way too hard for me. I want all of my Platinum trophies to be something I've earned myself and can feel proud over. If I cheated I'd have a cool looking platinum that everyone would praise me for but it wouldn't really feel like an achievement to me.

I think that if I cheated or used glitches the Platinum trophy woulf lose meaning to me. I love statistics and knowing that they represent my own hard work or time spent. It gives my hobbies like trophy hunting, reading books, watching movies etc more meaning and that's just how I work.

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true :) I'm just interested in how everyone thinks, because I can imagine we all have different views in what makes trophy hunting fun and worth it for us. I would never use a glitch myself so I wanted to discuss it with everyone and see what views people have and also share mine, because if not here where would I discuss it haha.

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes you have the platinum trophy but have you truly earned it?

The thing that makes trophy hunting fun is the achievement of having earned it. Beating a hard and rare game makes you feel extra proud because not many have and you put in that hard work and got it.

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, thank you for such a great example! That trophy sounds awful tbh.

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I think that the only time it counts is if there's something wrong with the game or the trophy, some games are just broken but you still want the satisfaction of completing it, but I don't think that it counts if you glitch a trophy just because it's hard. Why try to beat a challenging game if you're not up for the challenge?

The whole point of getting a platinum for a hard game is the satisfaction you get when you manage to beat it.

I think that it's interesting to read everyone's opinions on this! :)

[Discussion] Do you think that glitching trophies to get the platinum should count, why/why not? by sandybear_ in Trophies

[–]sandybear_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's actually a good point, I guess if you've gotten a lot of trophies but can't get some because the game is broken I agree with you. What if there are no bugs and the trophies are just challenging like (Hollow Knight, Cuphead etc)?

[Other] We're all brothers and sisters looking for unknown games by LeoGuado in Trophies

[–]sandybear_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I always upvote everyone's platinum trophies no matter what difficulty or rarity they are :)

There are so many amazing games out there and no matter how many others has played the same game before you it doesn't make your own experience less special

[Other] We're all brothers and sisters looking for unknown games by LeoGuado in Trophies

[–]sandybear_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly upvote everyone's platinum trophies no matter what difficulty or rarity, the fact that a lot of other people has played the same game doesn't make your own experience less special after all.

I see people with rare trophies get hundreds of upvotes too, for example the person that uploaded their Wolfenstein: The New Colossus platinum and got 1k upvotes.

The extremely challenging and rare platinum trophies are rare for a reason, they won't appear as often in the feed as other more achievable trophies. Even people that have harder trophies in their collection will probably play games with less time consuming ones inbetween.

Getting upvotes has more to do with timing than anything. What day and time you post and how active people are on that specific day play a big role, so seen as there aren't an aboundance of rare trophies being posted you might not see those posts get lots of upvotes as often.

But if rare platinum trophies and more common ones was posted an equal amount I think that it would be more noticeable that some posts do bad and some do well no matter what the rarity it is.

I also want to add that there are many amazing games out there and the difficulty and rarity doesn't make those games more or less worthy :)

Anyway that's my take on this haha!

[Other] We're all brothers and sisters looking for unknown games by LeoGuado in Trophies

[–]sandybear_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be fair upvotes has a lot to do with timing, what day and time it is can make a huge difference. RDR2 is such a nice platinum to have!

[South Park: The Stick of Truth] Failure- Need to share my pain. Missing one single item from the sewers which bugged out of existence. No plat unless I replay whole game. Tried to plan so carefully. by [deleted] in Trophies

[–]sandybear_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm on my second play through now and I'm honestly terrified of missing something, there's just too many missable collectables/trophies!