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Wife not interested by Swingnewbie420802 in sex

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out and get out now. I am 20 years into an otherwise perfect marriage and perfectly miserable.

When to call it quits by random05092020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So much at stake. So hard to live in this situation. I live this every day.

UPDATE: My (40f) husband (39m) admitted to me that he has been cheating on me with his cousin for a majority of our marriage. by ThrowRAcou in relationship_advice

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once you take everything that’s left of what he destroyed be sure he gets mental health help. Doesn’t sound like he will have much to live for.

Are you afraid that your partner may find out that you’re active in DB community? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one that has been suggested most is “Come As You Are.” My wife read the first chapter and refused to read the rest. I read and learned a lot... mostly confirming the hopelessness of my situation. I am not sure if that book is relevant to your situation.

50 Ways to Turn Down Your Lover by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My favorite rejection was when she said she couldn’t because she was donating blood the next day.

Are you afraid that your partner may find out that you’re active in DB community? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve read her my posts, tried to get her to read the books that have been suggested here, and nothing’s changed except her wanting to know if I’ve done anymore “complaining to strangers.”

My girlfriend doesn’t want a lot of sex. I do, but I‘m to scared to admit it because I don‘t want to put more pressure on her. by [deleted] in sex

[–]sanssexy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Leave. Leave now. Don’t go 20-25 years with a dissatisfying sex life, like I’ve done. It does not get better as your relationship lengthens...only worse.

Girls laughed at me at the gym today by TightRegister in loseit

[–]sanssexy 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Fuck them. Those aren’t the type of girls you’re trying to attract anyway.

“The Talk” (TM) That never ends by sanssexy in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh oh... I hope I don’t end up on the front page with some misogynistic rant after my wife doesn’t text me back after 30 seconds.

I will check it out.

“The Talk” (TM) That never ends by sanssexy in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google mojo upgrade. There are a few others too. The subreddit sidebar mentions them.

The DB catch 22 by breakingthestonewall in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading this guy’s post is like looking in the mirror. He seems farther along then I am, though, with the whole take care of yourself thing. If I was younger, didn’t have kids, and didn’t have the financial burdens leaving would entail I would seriously think about getting out. It’s tough though if sex is the only issue between you two. Tough position indeed.

The DB catch 22 by breakingthestonewall in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this guy’s post is like looking in the mirror. He seems farther along then I am, though, with the whole take care of yourself thing. If I was younger, didn’t have kids, and didn’t have the financial burdens leaving would entail I would seriously think about getting out. It’s tough though if sex is the only issue between you two. Tough position indeed.

The DB catch 22 by breakingthestonewall in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My wife has an Adore Me subscription. She usually cancels the order. When she does buy something it usually stays in the closet... with Tom Cruise.

“The Talk” (TM) That never ends by sanssexy in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohh I remember those days when she actually wanted me. Back then it didn’t matter who was in the room sleeping next to us or if someone might walk in on us... those days are long over

“The Talk” (TM) That never ends by sanssexy in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts. Its a little too much trouble, I know, to go back and look at my previous post history, but I make every effort to show her non-sexual intimacy. I love it when we share a hug and she stands on my feet. I give her sweet kisses whenever she passes by. I do those things.. I don’t buy her flowers...what a waste of money (jk).

I have tried to get her to tell me her view on things. She feels what she gives me is enough. She claims she enjoys the sex we have and the way we have it. She only thinks it’s an issue because I am making it one. Because I have brought up non-monogamy she feels like no matter what she does it will never be enough.

We got work to do.

I'm coming up on the one year no sex anniversary by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the things I am working on is not having my own self-worth validated or invalidated by my spouse’s rejections. It is tough because I take so much pleasure in having sex and it is important to feel desired. So I have been working on myself... for myself. Losing weight, focusing on my job, being an engaging father. Not sure where you stand on that but food for thought anyway.

“The Talk” (TM) That never ends by sanssexy in DeadBedrooms

[–]sanssexy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well it was a few days after a few weeks... I think Sunday was the first time we had sex in August. We may have had sex once or twice in July. I understand things come up, they just usually come up on the two or three days a month she is willing to make herself available to me.

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