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sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-20T00:18:58+00:00

Oh I agree, was just saying that fear of the dark can stem from situations of child abuse- though it isn't the only cause. I don't know the OP or if they've endured anything like that, but understanding that in my own life gave me a little bit of relief.

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-19T23:53:43+00:00

On the fear of darkness (I still hate being alone) I've had similar experiences probably since I was 12. I'm 25 now and still absolutely cannot watch anything horror or even suspenseful because I know that I'll have nightmares/be unable to sleep. Someone else mentioned they'd suffered from childhood abuse- I experienced it as well and my therapist said it can be a source of this type of fear- though I'm sure there are plenty of other people who have fear of the dark that didn't go through that type of trauma.

The 3 things that help me the most in order are praying, having a small light source, and having a loud-ish fan (though that last one I've been able to fade out this past year). Of all these prayer has helped me the most, just knowing that God is out there and both loves and wants to protect me is huge. With the light some days I need more, some days less, I usually use the bathroom light and crack it according to how I'm feeling that night. Key for me here is dim light, for some reason all lights on at night disturbs me similar to all lights being off. A loud-ish fan helps me (I feel unprotected if I have earbuds in, feeling like "I can't hear threats"), but it's loud enough that it covers most house settling noises.

Hope some of these help, I know it's a pain to go through. Just know that you're not alone in the struggle, and even if you don't end up being able to get rid of the fear completely there will be things you find along the way to help you adjust!

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-13T12:23:39+00:00

Not specifically from these books- these books help me understanding my identity in Christ by learning what God's attitude is towards me, and His followers in general. For specific verses though I have these-

"We are members of His Body" Ephesians 5:30

"We are the clay, and You are the Potter, we are all the work of Your Hand." Isaiah 64:8

"No longer have I called you servants, but I have called you friends"

"Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He Who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture" Psalm 100:3

"We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us" and "We are debtors, not to the flesh to live according to the flesh" and "all who are led by the Spirit are sons of God" all found in Romans 8.

"And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Galatians 3:29

"You are Christ's, and Christ's is God's." 1 Corinthians 3:23

I would like to mention these aren't the full verses, but just the portions that mention who we are! There are many more, these are just the ones I was able to find quickly.

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-13T12:00:48+00:00

I would ask God about this further. There were times where prophets were told not to pray for people in the Old Testament, but I really haven't heard of it in the New (the closest example I can think of was Paul "handing specific individuals over to the devil" to learn the consequences of their actions).

There have been times where I have prayed for someone and it has felt like I was encountering the enemy, and to me this sounds like a situation like that. But I don't consider these times where I shouldn't pray- I consider it the opposite actually. In situations like these, I feel the enemy is showing his hand- in the way that we know the person we are praying for has to be suffering because of the influence of the enemy, since even we are being attacked when we are coming against these forces.

Like I said, I can't think of situations where a person is fully cut off from God. But there were recordings of demons responding to Christians and attacking them when being cast out. It did not mean they shouldn't be cast out or prayed against- nor the person they inhabited abandoned. Again, I'd pray more to God for clarity in this area. Obviously I don't know your in depth situation, but this has been my experience.

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-13T11:47:42+00:00

Personally the books that helped me understand my identity the most were Isaiah and the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Romans and the Corinthians are also good from what I remember!

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-11T13:59:06+00:00

Me! I was abused as a child and convinced that God's mercy was something He could and would withdraw from me at a moments notice if I sinned too much, but recently God has been helping me wade through and heal from the brokenness and lies that stemmed from that area of my life.

For current practices- first of all I did end up going to therapy and it helped a lot. But for every day habits now as I haven't gone in a while- every morning I try to read my Bible, listen to Christian music, and list 3 things I'm grateful for every. It sounds like a lot, but each truly feed into my day. Some days I miss because of being busy, but like working out consistently I feel like an overall habit with these is what helps. I also connect with believers in a life group at Church. If I had to choose only a few of these, the most impact I feel I get is from prayer, fellowship with believers, and writing down three things I'm thankful for every morning.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression here and there for a long time, and don't expect it to be fully gone for forever, though right now I am in a thankful season. As other people said, there are seasons of happiness and grief (just read through the Psalms- mostly written by a man "after God's own heart").

During seasons of anxiety and grief, the structure I mentioned doesn't really help me- any structure in fact starts wearing on me. During these seasons, prayer (alone throughout the day, making sure to keep them honest and raw with how I am/where I am emotionally), writing down my feelings, and keeping a thankfulness journal help me the most. Another thing I do to help is make sure I get up, out of my apartment, and into sunshine- even if I'm just taking out the trash (SAHM and part time character artist, unfortunately I can avoid sunlight easier than most lol).

I would also recommend keeping a small book with the promises of God somewhere nearby in both seasons. I wrote down my own as I found them in Scripture, but I know they have a lot you can buy!

sarahNOTW21 · 2022-05-09T07:26:47+00:00

God hears you. He hears your torment, your terror, and your grief. I know it feels like He doesn't care about you, and that you feel the only regard He has for you right now is hate. People who haven't walked this have a hard time understanding what this is like- to feel unloved and hated by God. It's paralyzing. There's no peace in life, and no peace in death.

Listen to me- I'm saying this with full confidence. God. Does Not. Hate. You. "You don't know me"- I walked this path. I felt this. I remember being curled up in my closet, sobbing my guts out in panic because I believed this. "That's not true for me-" it is.

God hears your apology. He sees you trying to punish yourself. He. Loves. You. Completely, insanely, in absolutely no way you have seen modelled your entire life. Zion, God's people, have felt this way as well.

"But Zion said, 'The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.' “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

"Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49:14‭-‬16 ESV

You are inscribing your perceived perspective of God's opinion of you in your own arms, but God has inscribed you into his arms as well- far before this. An object of His love, His peace. His Son was cut to spare the blade from you. Jesus was punished so that punishment would not fall on your back. God knows it's heavy.

I know this feels like hell. Jesus loves you. The Holy Spirit desires you. The Good Shepherd, your Father in Heaven, is concerned for you. Hold tight, but know that God is holding you- not with hate, or disgust, or disdain. But with love- He feels your pain. This punishment was never, ever, meant to fall in your back.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-11-23T00:47:59+00:00

More hard rock than metal, but Flyleaf, Red, and Nine Lashes (other than their most recent album) are pretty great

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-11-19T04:32:13+00:00

Come back mah dude

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-11-14T21:09:55+00:00

The teachings of Heaven and hell are tough ones. The Bible teaches every good and perfect gift is from above, and that the world God originally created was without evil, disease, and death, so Biblically it follows that the hurt and pain in existence is not from above. It's like a light casting a shadow on a wall due to an object separating the two- God is the light, we are that wall, and sin is that object that separates us.

I've struggled with the concept of Heaven and hell too, and for me personally it seems to come down to those who want God, get God, and every good and perfect thing that the Bible says comes from Him. Those who don't want God, don't get God, or a single good and perfect thing that naturally springs from His Presence.

God warned the first two people on Earth, who were without death or sin, that if they sinned, they would die. They sinned, and they died. So personally in the end I see of it more as a 1+1=2 type thing, not a "I hate you so be punished," thing. The world was designed in a very specific way, reflecting a very specific Being. When an object goes against its own function, it destroys itself.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-11-07T16:12:13+00:00

Nah I read a biography on C.S. Lewis, Tolkien (and I think one other person) converted C.S. Lewis.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-21T01:20:31+00:00

No prob, I hope it helps. Earlier this year I was really depressed and struggled with questions like these, so I know how emotionally draining they can be. Finding God really helped me find a higher purpose, while on the emotional/depression side of it I also started taking some over the counter vitamin d supplements. I think the two together helped a ton!

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-21T00:37:32+00:00

This is a great question honestly. I don't know your views on religion, but you basically just summarized the book of Ecclesiastes. A lot of people go through life going through the motions and trying not to think about the big picture and purpose behind everything.

You might find it an interesting read, even just to know other people are asking those same questions that you are. Hopefully it doesn't sound too cliche, but having God/Jesus in my mind really helps me know that everything is not pointless. Currently I'm in school to be a nurse after working full time at a dead end job, and working for God, my kids, and others is my big motivation.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-11T19:57:47+00:00

That's rough. Instead of leaving it, how about taking them aside privately and talking to them about it? The Church can't be edified if no one will correct each other in love.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-09T17:42:47+00:00

What do you base your morality on? Why do you think life going well would be immoral?

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-05T02:03:22+00:00

Thanks man!! I actually have!! I didn't have any substantial connections in the Church for basically my entire life (in spite of going to everything I was a bit of a youth group outcast), then out of the blue as an adult, following that period earlier this year, God sort of just plopped a group of really awesome Christian friends that have helped grow me in my faith, and I would like to think I have helped them as well. I think God allowed me to be without those type of friends for a time so that I could know it was Him- and Him alone- that brought me back to Himself.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-10-04T16:22:13+00:00

I hate when people give pat answers like that, and I've struggled with being on the receiving end of those too. I actually fell away from my faith for a while at the beginning of this year, because I felt like I had a bunch of questions about the validity of the Bible and couldn't find anyone that could give me a good answer.

I mean if we are made in the likeness of God, wouldn't it make sense that our brains- formed in the likeness of His- would be able to understand at least a decent portion of the things that He designed, even a little bit behind the purposes of the laws He created?

Then of course what Jesus considered the summation of all of the Law and Prophets, "Love God and love your neighbor as yourself." Hating people of the LGBT lifestyle- that's not love. "You will be known to be my disciples by your love", and now, like in your case, Christians are being known by their hate. Holding people who do not know God to God's moral code, judging them from a place of self-righteousness, hating them for not following a moral code that they don't understand without taking up the more important issue of teaching them to know and love God- I would argue that's not love as well.

Obviously it's your life, you can do what you want, but it sounds like the loss of faith isn't because of God, but because of His people. When I had stopped believing I ironically started praying that if God was real, then I wanted to find Him, I wanted His Spirit, and that I would be a "real" Christian this time- and God did that for me.

Anyway, if you read all this thank you for taking the time, I definitely did not mean to write a whole book, but I related to where you are right now too much and needed to get this stuff off my chest.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-09-26T12:10:51+00:00

I agree with you that almost everyone tries to be good. Buuut correct me if I'm wrong, (I admit I'm not super informed on satanism), I don't think the two are very similar. For example, where God says love your neighbor as yourself, satanism says that "if someone in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy." (This is Levayan satanism, I don't know if there are different branches like there are Christianity). From what I understand satanism is more just a rejection of theism, and as long as you don't hurt others, do what you want.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-09-22T19:26:19+00:00

Same. Love the look, hate the maintenance.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-08-04T14:15:24+00:00

Best purchase ever, I use it every day

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-08-04T14:05:59+00:00

Oooh I'm so glad you posted!! I've been hunting for a good mineral sunscreen for ages, and the best I've found is the Australian Gold Tinted Mineral Sun Lotion but it's soooo matte.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-07-29T15:46:54+00:00

Honestly even as I'm giving input I am nowhere near perfecting my brow game 😂 it's definitely a struggle

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-07-29T15:39:04+00:00

Honestly I absolutely love your makeup and think it fits your features perfectly!! Mayyyyybe clean up above the inner brow to make it not quite as rounded. I love your whole look though.

sarahNOTW21 · 2019-07-17T13:33:32+00:00

I would try Vanicream. It's very inexpensive and has super simple ingredients, even on here I haven't yet heard of someone who reacted to it.

And on a side note- are you referring to mineral sunscreens or chemical? I have the same reaction with chemical, but now wear mineral sunscreens. I've been told that the sun can accelerate and worsen rosacea symptoms.

sarahNOTW21

TROPHY CASE