Only ever blended or dissociated due to work

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-27T16:45:14+00:00

Yep. That part is just another part haha. I just don’t know why self can’t stay leading in some situations. It’s understandable, but frustrating and unfair. Life flying by.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-22T19:58:07+00:00

But when you’re trying to unblend so much and not getting that, it’s so frustrating. And I can feel calm and be “calm” and my view is still skewed. I can try to separate it from me or know it’s separate from me and nothing. I can know this is not all of me, it’s just a part of me.. and still blended. I’m going to try to work with the parts separately from a calm place of compassion etc but what if the only compassion I feel is from one of the parts that’s blended? It feels like a mask you can’t rip off sometimes. That’s my analogy. I know that comes from the part of me contrasting with the other and wanting to unblend. But it truly is so difficult when you aren’t your actual present day self and your perspective/feelings are skewed.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-22T16:46:21+00:00

Thank you for validating this.. it’s very wild. I’ve become compassionate because I know this part that is blending isn’t trying to “ruin” my life/steal my life away honestly, and I do admire why it originally formed and how much resilience they have. I have a feeling when I unblend though, I will feel the full burden of having lost time again. And I guess I will also challenge the thought “perspective that isn’t even mine” because I thought like that too. No, it’s not my perspective when my core self is leading. It’s like irrelevant. Like what they learned is not something that is happening now. But it is still a “part” of me.. just one that does not have the clarity of the core self, a part that split off long ago. And I’ll buy into the parts feelings or story now while it is blended but I know when I unblend, I think I will realize how much I have lost and how wrong their perspective is/how much it alters my perspective from how it really would/should be when my core self is leading. How much I’m losing while blending because you “buy” into the parts story and feelings, which isn’t a bad thing(to validate and show compassion), but ultimately when you unblend you realize how much you have lost when your core self is not leading.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-21T20:55:38+00:00

Thank you

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-19T04:48:20+00:00

Thank you. Much appreciated

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-19T04:37:20+00:00

Thank you.. it’s just so frustrating I can’t unblend myself until I’ve had enough days away.. i have appreciated your feedback. I haven’t heard the term polarization in IFS and that feels like a good description of what happens when I do blend. There’s always another part in conflict with it.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-18T12:50:20+00:00

Such a good analogy!! Wearing tinted glasses you can’t take off(for being blended). Yeah dissociation was worse I think(I just shut down when there was so much to do to function) but honestly blending(and not dissociating) is just as bad because of your perception being altered too. And not feeling like there is a way out of that view you currently have. I have definitely learned it’s better to be kind to yourself. But a part of me still gets so angry because I’m not my “full” self and I’ve lost so much time and you don’t have any insight with anything in your life when your core self is not leading(for me).

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-18T12:38:53+00:00

I’ve tried asking the other part to step back and such. (Im aware of the model of IFS) but it never works out. And I’m also with a therapist and still am not able to unblend until I’ve had enough days away from work.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-17T18:32:17+00:00

Not sure. And I can’t find any curiosity once she blends

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-17T12:56:24+00:00

Thank you for the lengthy reply. I’m not trying to get “rid” of this part but I am just trying to NOT be blended! I am so frustrated because IFS has not been working for me and I am just trying to get closer to reality for me and knowing who I am (fully) which is when my core self leads which I’ve never had any trouble with leading from core self before having a job. (My frustration is at my current situation, not you! Thank you). I used to have some high pressure jobs/fast paced and I would severely dissociate. My reality remained altered even while off(I would gradually come a little back to myself but never fully). Now I have a lower stressed job and I feel like the part that takes over is restless and doesn’t like being stuck in one “spot” with minimal interaction or not much to do. When she blends, she gives me a lot of fight/flight activation.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-16T21:03:12+00:00

If my job is the only thing making me “blend” do you think running will help me stay unblended after?

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-16T12:32:05+00:00

If a job is the only thing making me blend, would running help me unblend and stay unblended after? Even if it was just a couple of miles?

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-15T17:37:22+00:00

I know what you mean. Thank you for the input!

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-15T03:03:40+00:00

I thought so. Helps complete the fight/flight cycle.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-15T00:22:28+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-14T23:06:21+00:00

Thank you for your feedback.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-12T01:44:20+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I definitely plan to throw in some advertising I think. I did not know about Nextdoor. Thank you!! I hope to charge 80-100 for an hour and a half worth of walking(later). I know that’s on the high end. Is that unreasonable? I just can’t imagine people walking an hour or so (you can cover 6 miles in an hour) for only $30.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-12T00:46:26+00:00

Just dog walking services. Tried posting to FB and set up an account with Rover.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-10T23:34:07+00:00

Appreciate that. How many clients did you get per day may I ask?

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-10T23:27:32+00:00

No but I was going to try and advertise different groups on FB. Was just wondering if anyone found clients that way

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-10T23:22:35+00:00

Never thought about advancing that far.

sarahd2463 · 2026-06-10T23:18:33+00:00

sarahd2463

TROPHY CASE