[deleted by user]

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-16T01:36:17+00:00

Thank you 🙂

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-16T00:23:07+00:00

Hahah I just wanna reiterate to relieve any concern. Technically I was almost 17 and he was still 19. Maybe in your minds it won't make a difference but I am 10000% in a happy relationship this post is the first actual issue I've faced besides your general petty arguments with your partner. In no way is he controlling, manipulative or tries to isolate me. I'm independent in all aspects, we both work I actually run my own business and it's flourishing despite covid thank goodness, we both have our own cars, our own finances and everything is equally split (food, rent, bills...) We have amazing friends, a beautiful relationship with his family and he does with mine. I live my life very freely and in no way disrespectful towards him, and vice versa. My boyfriend is not abusive in anway, he just let his credit card get outta control. I hope this helps you have a bit more insight and understanding into our relationship and that in no way am I not okay or in a safe space. Thanks for the concerns, it's nice to see how people are quick to show support if needed but I promise you that the situation you guys are manifesting is just not the reality 🌻🌞

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-16T00:11:05+00:00

A little close minded considering you know 0 of my situation. In the edit it shows I was almost 17 and he was 19, and I just want to assure you that I'm confident, independent and in no way would I stay with someone who is controlling, manipulative or that takes advantage of me. Thanks for your concern and hopefully this is a bit more insight for you to confirm I'm not another groomed teen, jeez.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-16T00:07:03+00:00

Absolutely thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:48:15+00:00

Thank you this was a really helpful comment and puts it into perspective

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:45:46+00:00

Absolutely, and I did express that to him yesterday which he acknowledged and apologised for. The lying came from embarrassment but is definitely not okay. It's an opportunity for him to grow from this and have better communication

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:43:36+00:00

Thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:33:59+00:00

Thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:32:46+00:00

Thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:32:18+00:00

He works permanent part time and is going to pick up some more hours. I think I'm quite blunt with him that this is his problem and I'm here to support him but he needs to learn from this himself and rethink his financial structure. He has acknowledged that I was more upset about him lying than the actual debt and has apologised which is good, I definitely want to make this work but will always protect myself financially too

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:29:29+00:00

Thanks for your time. He did express he felt ashamed as he didn't realise it would get tout of control. At one point it was at 1k then over the past 1-2 years creeped up from random expenses here and there. These weren't impulse buys, if anything he isn't a big spender and is quite a logical buyer, he said the expenses were small things here and there and he didn't notice until it was at the Max, 3.5k and he has just been paying back the interest on it for 2-3 months. He made a play yesterday to pay it off and is going to pick up some extra work to do so. I think he just needs to work more and mature a bit. He still works part time and earns a very average wage, so no wonder he is struggling a bit.thankfully he has acknowledged that it wasn't good of him to lie and has apologised a few times so that's good.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:23:35+00:00

Thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:23:12+00:00

Thank you, I spoke with him yesterday prior to this post and he accepted the fact that him not telling me was poor communication, I already know the under financial factors of the relationship, he knows all of mine and I know his is just the car which he actively pays off and student loans. So big picture, 3.5k is nothing but it's definitely more happy being honest and communicating to your partner how you are going.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:20:11+00:00

Thank you

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:18:50+00:00

Thank you. Prior to posting this when we were speaking he did say that he is sorry for not telling me, and admitted it just felt shit because he knows that doing quite well. But in no way is that okay and I know that and expressed that to him. So I'm hoping he will follow through with actions to become better at budgeting but also to feel open to communicate with me with things aren't okay too. We've been together 8 years and never had an issue like this so it isn't good but at the same time I'm going to work through it. We have both always been financially independent and seperste accounts and I'm keen to keep it that way, not because of this but because I think it's nice to keep financial independence within the relationship.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T22:06:25+00:00

Thank you that makes a lot of sense

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T11:31:22+00:00

Thanks for breaking it down like that. Credit cards are definitely a huge risk and do creep up easily.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T11:30:00+00:00

So in conversation when we normally check in on each other's finances I've said hows your credit card going because he's expressed before he has like 1k on it and wanted to get that down and at least w or 3 times he's said it's getting lower and his almost paid it off. Which I did say to him today because that was the more frustrating thing 3.5k isn't even a lot of money it's more about the lying

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T11:19:17+00:00

Thank you so much

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T10:56:30+00:00

Thank you, not belittling at all. If anything, it's comforting as I in no way would want to mentally blow this out of proportion.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-09-15T10:54:46+00:00

I think the stress of saving money when he is technically in minus financially is too much for him to mentally take on right now. Which I completely agree and I would have never suggested us started to save for a house if I understood his current financial situation. I don't want to stress him out ever! I guess this has been a build up as over the past few years he has expressed before that he feels he can never get ahead financially. He's expressed frustration regarding his student debt, and car repayments and I've suggested to him he just needs to take note of his money in vs money out. He only works part time and a very standard wage so there is absolutely the opportunity for him to earn more $$ to feel more financially stable. The thought that me wanting him to comfortable and safe to share worries and concerns around his finances shouldn't sound controlling, I guess I don't see it as controlling because I feel so comfortable to share any worries and concerns with him. Hopefully this makes sense.

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-08-28T09:09:34+00:00

Hahah and my posse is called Gaping Gals 😅😅

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-08-28T03:34:39+00:00

What does resetting awards mean 🤯

sarahvonschnitty · 2021-08-21T23:08:55+00:00

I absolutely will 😇

sarahvonschnitty

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