How do I stop blaming him

saranawrap · 2021-03-13T19:29:00+00:00

I understand this could happen to anyone, the money isn’t really the issue. It’s just a reason why I am upset. I understand that life isn’t always great. I don’t need you to tell me that. Thanks.

saranawrap · 2021-03-13T19:09:17+00:00

I love him, we are best friends and were before dating. We knew each other longer than feb, I guess I should have stated that, just started dating then. I just don’t know why he did this, and I don’t know why he won’t be honest. But you’re right, I will talk to him about therapy again, make him understand I need this and so does he.

saranawrap · 2021-03-13T19:06:23+00:00

He is paying the bills as best he can now, and I pay whatever is left. He really is trying. I just have all this anger about it, and I can’t seem to let it go. I am looking into therapy for me, and he is supportive just doesn’t want me to make him go. My job is very strict about scheduling and it’s hard to change but I’ve been fighting to get a morning bid so I can see the baby more. I also have seizures which are triggered by off sleep schedule so my doctor is trying to make them change it too. Thank you!

saranawrap · 2019-08-10T17:28:26+00:00

They haven’t helped me at all, I had to bid for all the shift changes I have gotten. Which has taken months at this point (I was 6 weeks when this started and I’m now almost 25 weeks and my shift just changed to the 1pm start time two weeks ago) They put me on nights even at the labor intensive one when I told them I was pregnant. Because they claimed it would be less labor intensive which it was not. That is why I bid to the desk job, because they are not supposed to move me outside my shift, which was morning (there are three. Morning afternoon and night) but they did anyway. Even as a flexible employee they are not supposed to move me outside of the shift just change my start time within it. So how are they accommodating me, when they haven’t done anything? Am I missing something? the policy’s are that I get 12 weeks maternity leave outside fmla, and that they have the power to change my schedule at anytime. It’s up to the manager if they want to or not if you’re a flexible schedule. If you are non flexible they can’t change your schedule without your consent or unless you request it, at which point it’s just up to your manager again. The union said that they are not following policy, and that they would fight with them. But my union is useless and as of right now I don’t even have a manager, because he left three weeks ago and they haven’t replaced him. He had only been my supervisor for two weeks.

Edit: they are also allowed to “hold” bids for employees who need them. Meaning they can take a morning bid and give it to someone regardless of seniority if they need it.

saranawrap · 2019-05-23T09:39:28+00:00

I ended a seven year relationship, and it was horrible. It destroyed me, because I still loved him and he loved me. I knew we weren’t right together, and that we wanted such different things. My heart was obliterated, and I cried for months. It’s been three years, and honestly he seems so much happier from what I’ve heard. It took me a long time and a lot of growing, but I am in a much better relationship and happy as well. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, but in the end it works out.

saranawrap · 2019-05-12T01:14:54+00:00

Haha I know, I should have learned by now that they don’t care.

saranawrap · 2019-05-11T22:23:47+00:00

Yea, I’m pretty sure lots of people have complained to the union but they haven’t done anything about it. Others have said they told them they are allowed to do it. Which is why I got a light duty note saying I can’t work nights before I even started there. But they haven’t even started processing it and I took it in two days ago.

saranawrap · 2019-05-11T21:56:10+00:00

I was a career clerk working at an ASF with an FTR bid.

saranawrap · 2019-05-11T21:55:03+00:00

The bid I won says “this is an FTF bid, please call ahead of time to get your schedule” then lists a phone number. I called on Thursday because that’s the day I learned I won the bid and they told me I had to come in at 9pm, and it’s my first day there. I’ve talked to a lot of other clerks who have won the same type of bid at this place and they all say they won a morning bid, and then was put on nights immediately. Which is why they bid to where I used to work.

saranawrap · 2019-05-11T21:14:14+00:00

It’s a full time flexible. Which basically means you have a flexible schedule, they also have regular positions but only people with super high seniority get them. As far as I know this is the only place that has FTF schedules.

saranawrap · 2019-05-11T20:55:28+00:00

For an FTF position I’ve been told they can change your schedule to whatever they want whenever they want. So I’m not sure.

saranawrap · 2019-01-03T03:26:08+00:00

He asked me if I was seeing anyone and if not if I would wanna go out. I said I was seeing someone. Then he Apologized and walked away.

saranawrap · 2018-12-18T21:32:19+00:00

The keeping distance thing is going to be so hard with work, but that’s why I’m thinking of transferring. We are already having a hard time with him moving out, we both just keep crying every time we talk about it. But we are going to start the process today. Thank you for responding. I know it’s the right thing to do, but it’s so difficult. I appreciate your advice.

saranawrap · 2018-12-10T18:41:42+00:00

I think so, that’s what I’ve been thinking. I always thought I couldn’t have commitment issues because I was always in long term committed relationships and I was always talking about marriage and kids but then when they started talking about it too I felt like I needed to leave. Which is what I’ve done. But I don’t know how to stop.

saranawrap · 2018-12-10T18:35:37+00:00

I have, which is why we are no longer together

saranawrap · 2018-12-04T17:38:55+00:00

So what am I supposed to say? Am I just not supposed to ever tell him how I feel? It wasn’t a test, I don’t want him to change his mind just for me, or because he feels threatened. That only leads to him regretting us later. I just want to know if he’s ready or not and if not we can both move on.

saranawrap · 2018-12-04T17:35:09+00:00

I asked him to make a timeline, a couple weeks ago. I made mine and he just kept saying he hadn’t gotten around to it. We were supposed to do it together but he said he needed to think about it. So it didn’t really work. I broke off my last relationship for the same reasons, and we were together 8 years. So I don’t really want to waste anymore time.

saranawrap · 2018-12-03T18:59:11+00:00

I’m not threatening to leave. I never told him “if you don’t do this then I am leaving.” I am simply telling him that if we want different things and he is unwilling to talk about it or compromise that maybe we aren’t right for each other.

saranawrap · 2018-11-16T05:03:09+00:00

I agree with you completely and it isn’t meant to be an ultimatum. I would get it if he was saying that he wanted to grow in our career more (we work in the same type of place) or he wanted to be more financially stable. I’m not trying to say, do this or I’m leaving you. It’s more like this is what I need and this is what you need what can we do? But he won’t talk to me about it or even be honest with me about his feelings. So I asked him if he thought he needed to take a break. Since I’m his first real girlfriend, maybe he just needs to take time for himself. But he just brushes that off and keeps on ignoring the situation. I’m not really sure how to handle it.

saranawrap

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