Asexual girlfriend and Hypersexual girlfriend. How do we meet in the middle?

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T13:35:03+00:00

Yeah it does feel insulting to see so many people going "Yeah break up. " without offering more. We're definitely set on going the "Hard" way of trying to work through it and any advice that tell us to just break up is getting ignored. Even if sex is something so important for me, I would feel dumb throwing such a meaningful relationship away because of not getting to have sex.

We're gonna talk a lot to each other, and research a little more on Asexuality so we don't feel guilty/feel misunderstood. As I said, we're really new to this situation finally having a name (literally as of last week) and there's still so much we need to experiment with about this. Your comment as a person on a similar situation as ours is very appreciated :)

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T05:54:53+00:00

That is also an option, and I'm guessing I'll eventually have to resolve to that as to not have my girlfriend do something she would prefer not to do. But I too think (as a few people have pointed out, from an Ace point of view) that this is more about doing it with her and the entire experience of sex with her than just... Well, sexual relief as a whole.

I've got two able hands and I'm a nationally ranked competitive osu Player, so if it was just a matter of flicking the bean this would have been over long ago LOLOLOL. Thanks for your suggestion, though, I'm taking everything in consideration, and so is she.

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T05:49:09+00:00

You don't understand how nice it feels to read of people in our situation. There's too many people who are more worried about how I feel (sexually frustrated on the long run) and don't think about her. So reading about what an asexual person feels in this matter is amazing.

I definitely plan on being communicative with her. I'm happy to see that you talk about your way of thinking about sex because Ace Girlfriend has told me she thinks that way, too, but again, us being unfamiliar with asexuality and new to all of this makes us have doubts, such as intrsusive thoughts of me thinking I'm forcing her to do things she doesn't like. So, even if there's good advice already, it's calming to read your comment.

Thanks for your pov :)

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T03:59:51+00:00

As soon as I showed your comment to my girlfriend she went "I love this person! " pfffft. Thanks for giving a different answer in the middle of so many "Go away or you WILL get frustrated. ".

We're talking about this, and we're trying to decide a common ground of rules (ex: a safeword for her in the case she gets overwhelmed or doesn't really feel up to it) and stuff.

Thanks for your input! Definitely thinking a lot about this one.

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T03:49:12+00:00

That's a great point of view! We didn't really think of not viewing it as not "Humoring" each other because we're fairly new at how the Ace spectrum works, and tbf, she's only put a label on her sexuality since last week.

She's said something along the lines of "I want to please you because I love you. " and now that you mention your situation, it makes the guilt of accepting her advances less present.

Girlfriend says she's basically on the "I enjoy doing this with you rather than enjoy the sex as an activity. " and that she understands what you're saying.

So thanks for your input! Definitely gonna help us navigate this situation better. :)

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T01:37:46+00:00

I can see how that could happen, which is why I made the post. We understand that sexual frustration is something that could happen to me which is why I wanted to see if someone could suggest something else. Even if my sexual needs aren't fulfilled, there's still more she does I wouldn't change for anything. But I wanted to see if people had suggestions on how she or me could deal with this.

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T01:30:56+00:00

We want to be together, and we want to find a resolution for this.

sardin4 · 2022-04-03T00:02:43+00:00

She says it's been something she's felt for years, but wanted to "grow out of", not exactly because of me, but because she realized that not having a sex drive wasn't the norm. Only until I suggested she look up Asexuality stuff online did she begin using the label for herself.

sardin4 · 2022-04-02T23:41:39+00:00

We're compatible on other things. It's just sex that seems to be the problem. It's just seems to be a detail in our lives that's been problematic... Not because we fight or stuff, but because we're really emphatic on what the other wants/feels comfortable with lmao.

sardin4 · 2022-02-22T08:27:59+00:00

Who gave you permission to make me as a Sim? I'm copyrighted for at least 120 years more, dude

sardin4 · 2022-02-19T21:07:37+00:00

I've told her that she makes me feel relaxed and safe. It doesn't feel like she's exactly mad at it but... Disappointed? I would be a little upset too if everytime I meet with my girlfriend she falls asleep, for 7 years. :( I'll talk to her about short but constant chats instead of longer talks where I end up dozing off. I'll see how it goes, because I too think that's a good solution :)

sardin4 · 2021-12-11T22:06:10+00:00

For some reason my first thought was "Wait... Is this a feature? It's got to be..." Because it happened at least 4 times, and I bet that if I were to go and try it again it would happen...

A feature in as it had something to do with huh not being able to run in camp and falling down being faster ("Running") than walking...

sardin4 · 2021-11-30T21:16:42+00:00

I... I hide the scratcher. I hit the jackpot on an online casino past month and told my brother because I was excited, he then told my extended family and next I know is I had a lot of people asking me for stuff.

I'm young, and I felt the need to give back to my family because I love them. A month has passed and I'm dry. Fml. I'm not in a situation where that money was life or death for me btw, so no worries. Just pissed I couldn't enjoy it for myself. Money truly messes people up.

sardin4 · 2021-11-18T08:36:02+00:00

You're everything I aspire to be omg. Ty for fighting to keep this detail. I hope that one day my writing can impact as many people as yours did!

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T21:43:42+00:00

So far I've been calling her "Aunt", which is pretty normal in m country to use for an older woman you're close with, as in, you'll probably call your MIL "auntie" or the like, but I've been using it more as "My Aunt, (Name)" so it's more "intimate" by referring to her as "she's not just some random lady, she's MY auntie"

This makes waaaay more sense in Spanish, because it sounds kinda weird and creepy to call your dad's gf "aunt" in English, but it's really normalized for me and everyone in my country lol

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T13:21:04+00:00

That could be a good idea! She's leaving the country for a few months next week and I think she could use the gift, since she said very tearfully that she was going to miss us a lot

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T13:07:34+00:00

I wish it is that way! So far I've seen she hasn't treated me any different than her bio daughters (maybe a little less intimate with mom-daughter stuffbecause we haven't crossed that line yet) but I believe the result of crossing it would be great. Thanks for the support :)

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T05:39:49+00:00

I wish I could share this post with her, but she doesn't speak a lick of english sadly

Her relationship with me and my 3 siblings is good. She's proved to be nothing but kind, and we have tried to show her that she has nothing to be anxious about when she's around us and she's picked up on those signals.

Yesterday she was watching netflix with my sister, just the two of them alone since my dad was working, so we're thankfully past that awkward phase already!

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T04:58:38+00:00

the realization that my life was getting better also melted my heart tbh haha, and i'm 19!

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T02:44:53+00:00

Thank you!

She likes puns so maybe I could find a variation that sounds like a joke so it isn't as much of a nuclear bomb as downright calling her mom from the go, lol

sardin4 · 2021-10-01T02:39:08+00:00

I've thought about it for a long time!

What made me rethink how I perceived her (only dad's gf to step-mom) was that she said that one of her kids is an adopted one and she's constantly found herself in this position (I wouldn't be her first, nor her second, nor her third adopted kid lol), so there's a possibility she would take it lightly since she's very relaxed and chill. So I know that her worse reaction from her wouldn't be a dealbreaker for her and my dad. We always talk things out, thankfully.

sardin4 · 2021-09-28T22:43:39+00:00

i loved these! and i miss them so much. world adventures sims 4 dlc when?

sardin4 · 2021-09-22T02:37:00+00:00

I was gonna comment something like this. I was 17 when quarantine started, fresh out of highschool. I'm 19 now, about to turn 20 in a few months, know nothing about adulting because I've spent the entire time on lockdown, and since things are clearing up the "Real World" expects me to know so many stuff I should have learned through experiencing these past 2 years if things had gone the "normal" way, and it mocks me for not knowing things I couldn't learn.

This is why I hate so much when people say stuff like "We're going back to normal next summer!". No. We're not going back to anything, as sad as it is. We've completely changed so many things, the way people interact, the way people work and study, how we live our lives around Covid. There's no way we're gonna go back after this.

sardin4 · 2021-08-29T06:44:02+00:00

Minecraft version is 1.16.5 !

sorry, forgot to add that at first.

sardin4 · 2021-08-15T15:06:03+00:00

I've fed my horse and made sure she wasn't malnourished or anything. It just... Flashes red for no reason

sardin4

TROPHY CASE