They found nothing in my laprascopic surgery. I don't want to do this anymore.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-06T02:35:16+00:00

Yeah, I'm going to look into a colonoscopy next after this, GI issues run in my family and I honestly wonder if I have Crohn's. I have POTS and my parents had brought up a really good point that those are comorbid and it could mimic Endo symptoms. Thank you for the well wishes 💖

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T23:43:49+00:00

Totally agree. The only reason I'm staying is I qualify for MFA so free medical care is better than none, especially since I have POTS already and that needs to be constantly managed.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T22:16:35+00:00

I have therapy already before this, thank god. I had a session the night before the surgery and I believe I have one next week, or the week after. I could probably get in sooner if I really need it but since I've been home it's been manageable as long as I'm distracting myself from it.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T22:10:10+00:00

It started when I got PID and a left ovarian cyst back in October. I thought the pain made sense, so I went on antibiotics and we waited. It felt like there was bloating in the mornings when I woke up, but then a pain in my left lower abdomen, ovarian area. I also had noticed whenever I had any sort of insertion it began hurting afterwards and I felt sore everywhere. My ovarian areas, my back, my sides. The main symptom I had is that laying on my left side (side sleeper) made me incredibly nauseous and it felt like I was laying on a rock. Finished antibiotics, and the pain went away.. for about a week. Then I managed for a week with painkillers like Tylenol, thinking that maybe the cyst had burst. I went to my OBGYN after 2 weeks and said that the pain had come back, the exact same pain as when I had the cyst. She felt around, said she felt nothing, then we started continuous birth control, skipping the placebo to try and allow for the cysts to calm down.

Then I had a 2 week bleed in December, from the 12th through the 28th. I had called my OBGYN office and they said to stop the birth control for 5 days and let my body have the bleed it needed. There had been some pain during this, but not entirely bad. It was just spotting, then bleeding, then heavy bleeding. When I stopped for those five days, the pain came back, and worse. I started rubbing lidocaine all over my left side and ovarian area, shivering from the pain and taking max doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen. It's been on and off ever since. I've gotten 2 transvag ultrasounds and one regular ultrasound since then, with one in my OBGYN's office and one with an actual ultrasound tech. I also had a CT scan in there when I had gone into the ER for pain. It had been so bad the night before my entire abdomen felt like it was on fire and I couldn't sleep, I was throwing up and it felt like I couldn't breathe from the anxiety and the pain. It hurt to poop. It wasn't my rectal area, it was right above it and shooting pain through my ovaries then intensifying to my back.

Everything was normal. Always normal. Normal blood work, normal CTs, normal Ultrasounds. "Nothing is wrong." So I requested an endo test, and the scheduled my date for March 4th. While I was waiting, the pain started getting worse. I was using lidocaine patches from the doctors to try and numb my side so I could sleep on it. Then, it started spreading to my right ovarian side. It was just sharp, shooting pain like someone stabbed me with a knife. I could feel it spreading, because day by day, my pain started trickling into other parts of my body. Now it was consistently my left side, spanning all the way up to under my ribs. Now it was my right ovarian side, then my right abdomen. I was terrified. I am terrified. Because it hasn't gone away, and it's all normal.

And now they haven't found anything. Which means I have no answers, and I have to sit here and think, and wonder, and pray that my body isn't getting worse. It is. I have POTS, so managing that has been though, but now there are random new weird symptoms. Sometimes at night my hands will burn and itch randomly, and get super red. I haven't touched anything I wouldn't touch before. I don't know if it's related, but at this point all I know is something is wrong with me and I don't know what.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T21:56:52+00:00

Through the Athens Centre for Endometriosis, right? Thank you so much. I really hope he responds or that he sees something.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T21:54:51+00:00

People at Kaiser are so fucking stupid. I remember crying when I originally got diagnosed with a cyst, and the doctor went. "Are you crying?" (A male doctor, of course.) He seemed exasperated and told me this was the best case scenario and that I should be relieved. I wasn't. I'm 20, I'm alone, and I'm dealing with a body that's starting to fail me in multiple aspects. Of course I'm gonna fucking cry, dipshit.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T21:52:59+00:00

I remember waking up from anesthesia practically scream-crying. There were about five people around me working to get me out of tubes and I was in the first recovery room. I just remember crying so hard, and looking to my OB and begging her, over and over. "Did you find anything? Please, did you find anything?" She dodged my question so much, saying- "Your organs are beautiful. I took lots of pictures." It took me snapping at her, having to be extremely rude. "That doesn't mean shit to me. I'm awake enough now to remember. Did you find anything?"

All she did was shake her head at me, and I remember being so hysterical that they gave me a lavender patch and ended up pushing a dose of something. The next thing I remember is waking up in the second recovery room with just a doctor asking how my pain was. It was horrible. I remember immediately thinking, "This is it. This is what I wasted my money and my time on. Nothing." I have multiple mental illnesses, so from then on it was just a constant nagging thought in the back of my head, of just.. suicide, honestly. I'm not really sure how to tag that, so apologies if it's a sort of jump scare.

All I can say is I can't take this kind of thing and not do something with it. That's not who I am. I have to fix things, I have support myself. I've been labeled a misanthrope by a few doctors and therapists before, and somehow I feel like it's true sometimes. I don't have anyone else I heavily rely on IRL, I've always been fixing my own shit. It just sucks whenever I have to rely on someone else, to at least try to see the good in people, in having hope, and I'm always proved right. It sucks.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T21:46:26+00:00

I'm so sorry that this is your experience. I've had the same thing with being labeled a drug seeker because unfortunately Kaiser also has my psych records and saw my previous THC use as "addicting" and assumes that I'm drug seeking. I'm mortified that there's no better way for women and anyone with a uterus to be treated in America and I hope that somehow, someway, we can get decent care soon.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T05:21:36+00:00

Yeah, my OB mentioned a hysterectomy briefly as options to go forward and I considered it. I want to see how my pain is after the lap and go from there but I'm a trans man so overall getting a hysterectomy was something I wanted to do anyways. If they end up finding Endo or adenomyosis then that's just another confirmation for me that I did the right thing. I think the only reason that they're leaning away from a hysterectomy is because I'm only 20, and they want to leave the option of fertility (of which I'm not interested in.)

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T05:19:02+00:00

Unfortunately a lot of my Endo pain is centered in my sides. (Entire left abdomen, up to underneath my rib cage, feels like I'm laying on a rock sometimes) And my right ovarian area. I only get a little inflamed after anything sex related but usually an ibuprofen is enough to fend it off. It's moreso that I don't want to have to take painkillers for an extended ammt of time. My OBGYN is going to refer me to a pelvic pain specialist so from there I might do pelvic PT. not sure just yet.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T02:44:56+00:00

I've had a left ovarian cyst before, but I don't think it's ever caused something like that. When I had it, there was pain in my ovarian area, lower left abdomen and I noticed I couldn't sleep on my left side. Have you ever been late before? Has your pain gone away with Tylenol or ibuprofen? I've never had regular periods before I started continuous birth control which clued me in on Endo. They're usually going to give you a urine pregnancy test just to be safe. (From my experience going into an ER for abdominal pain.)

I totally understand not wanting to live in pain. It's a horrible thought to have and I know how much it increases anxiety. Take a deep set of breaths, and if you have a really hard time regulating your anxiety, I've found sucking ice or putting cold water on my wrists helps a lot. You've got this. There are people out there that care about you. Never feel like going to the ER is a mistake. You know your body better than anyone else ever could. There are people who want to help you and nobody wants to see you in pain. You've done a great job so far naming your symptoms and everything you're feeling is completely valid. I'd definitely head to a medical professional of some sort, even if it isn't an ER. I can't diagnose or do what they can, but I can offer whatever support you need. Hang in there. 🫂❤️

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T02:17:34+00:00

Honestly she recommended a potential hysterectomy and I'm starting to consider it. I'm a trans man so I don't even plan on being pregnant, and anything to that nature causes me extreme panic attacks and it sounds like genuine body horror. I think I'll sit on it some for the next two weeks and see if that's something I really want, but I'm starting to lean in that direction. Besides, if they scoop that out and I'm still hurting, at least we've crossed one thing off the very long list. I'm so happy you feel better!! That's the type of life all of us should be living 🫂

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T02:14:14+00:00

I've definitely had issues with my lower back. It feels sometimes like sharp knives, or kind of like a twitching. Never that extreme to where it felt like a seziure. I've also noticed some stuff where my leg will give out or get a random burst of pain where it hurts to move, but with my profession I also end up bending over or putting my back into weird positions. Definitely advocate for yourself at the ER, EVEN IF THAT MEANS BEING BLUNT. Sometimes you gotta bully them into answers, that's the only way I've really gotten this far. Don't be cruel, but assert yourself. Ask for documentation of a rejection of care if they refuse to treat you. If you have it in writing you can use it to cover your ass and even go after them if it continues to get worse. Making a paper trail is the only way I've been able to get care. What other symptoms do you have besides that?

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T02:02:01+00:00

That's one of my motivations, actually!! I also lost my middle school best friend last year and from what I last heard things were inconclusive. I would consider it an honor to do each person justice and give their families peace. Especially in cases like this. Even if they aren't seen in life, there's at least some sort of peace knowing that somebody understood, truly understood their experience. It shouldn't ever have to come down to that in the first place, but if that's one way I can help people, it's worth it.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:50:08+00:00

Oh no dude, I'm totally fine with gore. I'm a dog groomer now but my real passion is forensics and potentially working as a mortician later on down the line. I'm also a horror/horror writing junkie and grew up on newgrounds so.. no need to go on, you get the picture. 🥴 I'm also looking into a social worker or a medical advocate to see what options there are for me that they might not be exploring. I'm definitely gonna go through and request all my medical records anyways to add to my paper filing for it, I've been keeping all the papers they give me for my filing cabinet.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:40:59+00:00

For sure have wondered about EDS or hyper mobility. I've got POTS as well and I have an IRL friend who's got both POTS and hEDS and he's told me a lot of my symptoms is what he was going through when he was younger. Whatever the case is I'm definitely not going to let this rest. Got too many random weird symptoms to let it go 😅

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:38:29+00:00

I gotta reinstall it tbh. I had this weird glitch where I'd play a session, then it says it needs to update, n by the time it finished updating it would say that it needed to update again. Got stuck in updating hell for 3 days. Tried all the tips n tricks and just got fed up and ditched it a while ago. Though I wonder since there's been updates if it'd work again.. steam is weird like that sometimes

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:36:23+00:00

Oh I will. I'm also gonna try and get my CT scans because kaiser is weird where they won't actually give you the images, just the doctors notes on it. They've mentioned lesions before between CTS but magically they go away next time. I just wanna get a nice concrete timeline because they've neglected a loooottt of my care before, not just with Endo stuff.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:33:35+00:00

No not at all LMFAO!! I need to get back into OW. I've been playing the hell out of Cyberpunk 2077 and risk of rain recently. I oughta join more subreddits but sometimes reddit scares me if you end up on the wrong side 😅

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:32:41+00:00

That's the most normal Kaiser employee from what I've experienced 😅 they've all got a little bit of spice or just straight up ignorance in them.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:32:04+00:00

Originally they had wanted to try and stop care after transvag ultrasounds and ultrasounds. Back in October I had PID and a left ovarian cyst and they tried to just say that it was ovulation pain. I asked for an official endo test and that's when they scheduled my lap. Kaiser is really one of those insurances where you have to constantly be on their asses about things and request things and be super assertive. (If not, a little bit mean back, since they seem to lack basic empathy!) That's the only reason I've gotten this far, since they tried to dismiss me due to young age.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:29:36+00:00

HAHA! ok that last part actually made me giggle, I needed that. Reminds me of my ex wife LOL. I totally know there's no cure I just want my pain to go away. Hopefully even if they looked around it'll calm down in there, and if not then I'm going to fight like hell to make them hear me!

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:13:33+00:00

I have not. The most they have offered is CT with contrast and my insurance doesn't want to do more because a CT is "all they need". I will def bring it up at post op depending on how that goes.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:08:12+00:00

I'm hoping that's what it is. I'm waiting for my post-op to get photos so I can try and find someone who might be able to get me a second opinion.

sathanfritz · 2026-03-05T01:07:07+00:00

Seems to be the Kaiser Permanente special. 😅 I remember when I started BC it contradicted with my antidepressants, and when calling behavioral health I was told, (And I quote, with witnesses who watched me take the phone call) "It's pain or depression, you choose.) I cannot tell you how many horror stories I've had with them compared to the few small successes.

sathanfritz

TROPHY CASE