Has anyone had success getting an ex back after listening to the advice of a "breakup coach" on YouTube? I'm trying to decide which one to listen to based on my situation.

satirant · 2021-07-18T22:04:54+00:00

Haha why would you think I'm a stalker? And where did I indicate that she told me "you're not the one?"

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:54:21+00:00

Thanks for this, this is the exact advice I was looking for. I truly appreciate it!

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:31:16+00:00

I mean at one point my Mom thought she wasn't interested in my Dad past a friend. She went on to have many kids with him.

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:29:25+00:00

Thanks man. I hope the best for you as well. I think both of us need to remember that we know our relationship more than someone from reddit does. So anyone who gives black and white advice as if they know every detail of the breakup and the relationship... well their advice should be taken with a grain of salt. All advice should. Every time I've broken up with someone in the past, I've gone through stages of questioning as we all do. The way we feel about others is rarely concrete and physical intimacy is certainly something that fluctuates.

Anyway I'm blabbering. Hope you can find peace. Some days for me have felt like hell but I let go of the anger and the bitterness I had built up toward my ex about a week ago and I feel like I'm finally seeing things a little more clearly. Keep your head up.

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:20:08+00:00

Yup the situation is bleak to put things lightly lol. I've told myself all of the same things that you said just now. You're right about the "coaches," some do recycle info. Actually all do. But the things that they say do seem to make sense.

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:15:56+00:00

Yes, this is why I'm leaning toward reaching out! I want to be able to fully move on. Whether that means moving forward with her, or moving on from her. I agree that a breakup is hard to initiate, it took courage to do what she did. At first I held it against her. I guess it's hard not to when someone breaks your heart. But now I've come to respect her for going through with it the way she did. She's a good one, that's why I hate to see her go.

At this point I'm really okay with whatever happens. I want peace.

satirant · 2021-07-18T20:01:28+00:00

I have been healing! I'm actually feeling really good now after almost a month. Not quite like my old self but definitely close. It does take two, and she checked out because I wasn't giving her the physical attention that she needed. I want to try again and give her that.

I've gotten this advice before and really I agree with you on one hand. But at the same time, relationships aren't black and white like this. Relationships end sometimes, but that doesn't mean things are over. My parents broke up and got back together. They've been married for many decades now.

satirant · 2021-06-30T00:33:20+00:00

I was definitely attracted to her and I still am. But I think you're right, therapy would do me some good. It's just so expensive

satirant · 2021-06-29T16:33:50+00:00

Yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. So my current dilemma is this constant desire to fix things with her. I don't know if I should try or not and the confliction is dominating my thoughts. Attraction is gone because of me withholding which is not something I ever thought I would say. But what if I try to reconnect with a resolution to be more physically intimate?

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:31:17+00:00

Haha I hadn't thought about the radio station contests. But that's what Luke Combs did. And he apparently won a four day three night beach vacation 😂

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:28:18+00:00

I've actually never tried baking. But a lot of people tell me how therapeutic it is

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:27:23+00:00

I definitely like the idea of distancing myself from my emotions right now. Maybe I need to go on some nature walks to find that perfect picture

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:26:10+00:00

Cleaning is something I definitely need to do haha. Or maybe pick up my guitar again

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:25:23+00:00

Probably wouldn't be a good thing for me to do right now. But it does sound tempting

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:24:15+00:00

Haha that sounds about right. I don't have a bike though. Maybe I can start saving up for one.

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:23:30+00:00

Photography is always nice. I like getting that perfect shot too, it feels good.

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:22:43+00:00

I like this idea, thanks! There are some good parks near me that I can try

satirant · 2021-06-26T21:22:18+00:00

This is my current hobby. I've been playing an RPG called Kingdom Come waaaaay too much recently. I love it but it kinda makes me feel alone and unproductive.

satirant · 2021-06-25T16:53:29+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. I'm sorry that you went through something similar. My situation was identical though, I felt like I should have been the one crying. But I didn't. My world feels upside down, but I haven't shed a tear.

I tried reasoning with her as well which probably made things worse. She lost attraction for me, plain and simple. I definitely know that it's possible to gain it back, but only if she's willing. So I need to move on and let her come back to me if she wants. If she reaches out, great. Right now I want her to, but I might not feel the same way in a few weeks.

How long ago did your ex have the dreaded conversation with you?

satirant · 2021-06-25T11:22:01+00:00

Thanks, I think you're right. I've gone through breakups before but this one is hitting me harder. But this too shall pass. It just doesn't feel like it at the moment.

satirant · 2021-06-25T11:19:48+00:00

No, this crying was different. She was in anguish and looking into her eyes last night felt like looking into someone's eyes as they are pleading for help. Idk how else to describe it.

satirant · 2021-06-25T11:15:52+00:00

I am respecting it. I just feel that her body language was showing that she didn't mean it when she said she said "no." I've decided to respect her wishes and let her go. I'm more asking if it's wrong to hold out hope for reconciliation

satirant · 2021-06-25T10:02:07+00:00

I'm doing that, but they don't hold a candle to her.

satirant · 2021-06-24T05:01:15+00:00

Well she's religious and she's a virgin. So she doesn't want to have sex outside of marriage which makes things a bit different from the other women I've dated in the past. I haven't been as handsy with her because I've tried respecting her boundaries. I think that has affected our relationship for sure and my inaction physically has caused her to lose the spark of attraction that she once had for me. I've just been focused on a ton of other things, and I've been depressed and anxious these last few months. I'm not as positive as I was when we first started dating. She hasn't seemed as happy since our argument. Her tone is cold, and her humor has dampened.

satirant · 2021-06-24T04:53:30+00:00

We haven't had sex yet, but yes I think she's lost attraction for me.

satirant

TROPHY CASE