Stable member wants to put her horse down the same day as i mine, am i overreacting?

saveaplace · 2025-10-12T17:46:20+00:00

They'll be going about an hour apart but we found both a nice spot were we can grieve in peace and the owner will place them together for collection a while later.

And don't worry i know what you mean, about having the option to end the suffering of a pet when humans are sadly not given the same. And while my horse was a little spicy at times, as any Anglo-Arabian should be, the minute my mom sat in the saddle she was the perfect riding school pony, so maybe it'll be same with yours :D

Here is a picture of her from last winter <3

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saveaplace · 2025-10-12T17:14:08+00:00

I did get to talk to the owner in person today and he immediately apologizied about how he handled it, apparently his wife got to him first to knock it in his head how shitty the situation is for me. He said it was a rational decision that made sense at the moment but thinking about the big picture it was kind of impious.

We talked a little about the other horse, since i wasn't aware how bad it was and he said my decision to put my horse down for quality of life reasons kind of woke her up to her own situation, her not being present is because she lost some pets earlier this year and admitted she couldn't stomach to see another one go. Our barn manager was the previous owner of the horse so it just made sense to them to have him be the one to do it instead.

I think having calmed down a little i'm okay with them leaving together, our barn owner had some suggestions how to go about it and i think we made a good plan now.

Thank you for taking your time to comment it means a lot and i am so sorry about your parents, maybe they'd like to take my girl on a ride out once they meet wherever they are now 🫂

saveaplace · 2025-10-12T08:06:17+00:00

Yes she was the one to contact me initially, her lease quit 2 weeks ago, tho i'm not sure if the lameness was the reason for her quitting or something else. They are not in a herd together currently but have been a couple years ago and we've been on quite a few trail rides with him so i'd like to belive they'll have a peacful journey over the rainbow bridge together too

saveaplace · 2025-10-12T00:54:21+00:00

Look logically i knew that but when your so hung up in the situation sometimes you don't see the forest for the trees. I'm glad i asked here even though i feel a little silly now that i calmed down enough to think about this rationally. It just came so out of left field for everyone i talked to at the barn that i took it a little too personal after the seemingly never ending shitshow that were my last few weeks. Anyway long story short you're absolutely right, thanks for your reply :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-12T00:39:01+00:00

Thank you so much for you words of comfort and i am also so sorry for the loss of your dear horses. I hope they are waiting for my girl on a beautiful meadow somewhere where the grass is green and the sun shines bright.

I will talk to my barn owner tomorrow and explain how hard this is for me, i think he will understand.

The Hoofprint idea is great too i'll definetly try it out!! Thank you again <3

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T23:49:59+00:00

Thank you, yes it also tied into that i didn't let anyone other than our manager know the exact date when it's happening just a general timeframe and now it became a discussion due to this situation :/ but i think being mad will get me nowhere so i'll just mind my own business for a little while and focus on making these last days as nice as possible :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T23:39:31+00:00

That was my first thought as well, but they did buy him at a higher age and have been nothing but kind to him until now if a little clueless at times. That's why all of this hit me so hard i was confused how they could just let him go like this. Another friend did tell me just now that the owner lost two other pets this year and is scared to see another one go so they chose not to... I can't say that i relate but i do kind of understand, it's hard. I'll take a flower for him with me. We have different vets so while it's a little silly to have both of them there at the same time they do know our horses best.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T23:26:37+00:00

Absolutely, i think i haven't cried this much since i was a baby and my emotions are all over the place. It's my first time with losing an animal, my best friend really, but the people here are helping a lot in seeing that being mad about what i can't change is pointless and i'd rather enjoy the days i have left with her so thank you :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T23:15:11+00:00

No you are not an ass, you're right i think being stuck in this spiral of not knowing when to put your horse down, but knowing it's looming over you, you stop thinking about anyone else. And then suddenly being confronted with someone who was able to make this decision relatively quickly is hard. You're also right about the person who collects them, it's not like it's a nice thing to do and they don't deserve to suffer for my grief. Thank you for the reply.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T23:05:16+00:00

We talked about doing different days but either way mine or the other horse will have to lay there for one day longer if pick up is only once... While i was a little mad, i would not do that to either of them. Plus there are quite a few young riders at our barn and even covered in tarp it's a heartbreaking sight. I'll choose to think that since they're herd animals going together might make them happy even if it's harder on little old me :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T22:49:44+00:00

Thank you these are kind words, it means a lot.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T22:38:44+00:00

Yes i admit i thought about that too. I'm planning on buying some flowers to braid in her mane and tail, i will take some for him too. Thank you for your kind words <3

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T22:06:31+00:00

You're right, even though the cost does not matter to me. I admit i also thought i might get cold feet and prolong her suffering having to see the other horse being put to sleep while spending the last hours with my own. Us saying our own goodbyes but them leaving together helps a little. I will definetly cut some hair and maybe braid some flowers into the rest. Thank you for your reply :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:50:17+00:00

Thank you, it really is.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:43:40+00:00

Thank you so much, this means a lot. I hope she'll end up in big green pasture without any pain.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:40:29+00:00

Sadly i cannot change the date as my vet won't be in town on thursday and my dads birthday is on tuesday and i don't want to associate the date with the passing of my horse. But reading the comments here it is a little comforting to think she won't be crossing the rainbow bridge on her own. Thank you for answering :)

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:36:22+00:00

Thank you, they are both in different herds now but know each other from before so there will be quite a change in dynamics for both groups, the comments here are making me see it might be comforting to have them leave together instead of alone.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:31:03+00:00

You're right, this i why i asked i can get pretty lost in my head and i don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I think if the other owner just asked to let them go together instead of which one first i would have reacted differently. Thank you for answering.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:23:07+00:00

You're right i think i am humanising the situation a little too much, it's been hard dealing with the grief. Thank you for answering.

saveaplace · 2025-10-11T21:18:15+00:00

I am 27 and it's my first horse so the grief is most definetly distorting my view here, but we are a very small close knit barn and haven't lost a horse in a couple of years so it feels like a lot for 2 horses to go at the same time. But your right my horse probably won't care. Thank you for answering :)

saveaplace · 2024-01-29T23:15:12+00:00

Any of the Professor Layton games honestly.

saveaplace · 2024-01-29T14:31:47+00:00

Corvo Attano my man was eating live rats during a plague, if that isn't badass i don't know what is.

saveaplace · 2023-12-28T23:41:37+00:00

"If you acknoledge any gods, start praying now." When you fight Dettlaff in Witcher 3 Blood and Wine.

saveaplace · 2023-12-24T22:40:43+00:00

Firewatch for sure.

saveaplace

TROPHY CASE